I am currently in a tough spot with my girlfriend of almost three years. First off, some backround is necessary in order to understand the situation...

I am currently 21 years old, and living at home and commuting to school while working at an amazing internship. I like my decision that I have made to live at home, which I made after being away at school for one semester. I feel as though I am on a track to be a success, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

My girlfriend on the other hand is 19. She is away at school, only 45 minutes away from me, plays division 1 field hockey whiole being a nursing major and holding a 4.0 gpa. Naturally, the stress level there is high. We graduated high school the same year, and are currently sophmores in high school. It is important to note that she has never been in a longterm serious relationship like I have. She did indeed do her fill of hook ups in high school, but nothing serious relationship wise.

Now, the trouble all started last semester when she decided she would rather be with her friends two nights on a weekend than see me. That's cool, no big deal. Obviously it bothered me but I had to deal with it. I guess, I did push a bit hard to see her over the past few months (while she was in school). The thing is that we KNOW and acknowledge the fact that we do not argue at all while we are at home, for example summer/her breaks (spring break for example). Winter break was awesome this year, I took her up to NYC for the week, saw a few shows, everythign was fine and dandy for the rest of the break. Then, when we go back to school, we start arguing over seeing each other again. That's all we argue about when we argue though. It came to a peak this past weekend when she said she needed space because se feels smothered.

The only issue with that is that two weeks prior, I found out byu having to overhear a conversation at a party that I was at down at her school (which was at her house btw) that she is talking to someone else. What started the "break" this past weekend was that I went onto her computer, was about to check my Facebook, when hers popped up and a chat window which showed her talking to one of her friends about how she is in a pickle because she is "feeling someone else". I know she has not cheated on me and nerver would, but I do too much for this girl for her to do this too me. All I would like is for this to work out. Heck, I even just gave her some tiffanys last week for valentines day, and at valentines day dinner we discussed all of our issues and decided that we wanted things to work. I mean, she talks about marriage on a regular basis. Im never the one that brings serious things like that up.

Bottom line, I don't know what to do. My plan as of now isw to not talk to her, give her the space she wants, and then next Friday (March 6th), when she comes home for spring break, we can hopefully meet up and discuss things. I just do too much for this girl, such as wineing and dining her on a weekly basis, trips (such as NYC) all because I love her. Ive been in a serious relationbship before, but this is the biggest fiasco Ive ever had to deal with. Need some advice - simply move on, or give her time and see what happens. FYI, I haven't talked to her since Saturday when she sad she needed the break. I did talk to her two best friends. I think she needs to realize what she is going to miss out on if she goes through with this. Im just afraid she won't realize it since we've been arguing so much latley.

You sound like a great guy.. you do... but have you heard.. too much of a good thing can make you sick? I think this is kind of like that... not that your being overly lovey dovey or clingy... no what I mean is... you do all this for her... for 3 years on a weekly basis.. what has she done for you... a relationship isn't all about taking on person out and making them feel good showering them with gifts... what about the other half... what about you? What have you got out these three years from her?. I bet you she's so used to you showering her with all these nice things... spoling her rotten... shes probably not worried your going through a rough patch... being a girl... it gets boring after a while... keep not talking to her... cos from what it seems like you've got a good life going for you... but see if she comes to you first? Will she?. she knows she got a good thing... and this talk of marriage... it doesn't mean you have to get engaged and married with months! Speaking from personal experience with my boyfriend of a year ( we finished this weekend ) engagnment is that makes girls feel so special... just the fact that the person we love has done that... its not even a case of lets get married right away... its just the significance of it... the extra security you feel when your boyfriend proposes... its makes you feel amazing... it truly does... its probably best you stay engaged for a while... if this is how you choose to do this... as you don't want to disrupt her education or yours... and with her 'feeling someone else' talk to her about it.. ask her friends (if they can be trusted) I doubt after 3 years feelings can just change like that! So good luck hope this helps :)

She needs to realize what she will miss? I HOPE that is sort of a mind slip because you don't sound like the controlling type.
You also have a touch of 'I do so much for her' syndrome. Tiffany presents and wining and dining and trips to NY don't give you a right to a ROI.
Aside from that, what you are going through is so ordinary with college relationships that there's almost a set of statistics for it. They are tough enough to hold together. They are infinitely more difficult when at different schools. You have so many people to meet, so many possible new friends who can become romantic interests.
My advice is to talk to her on March 6 as planned. I wouldn't dwell on what she did or what you have done for her, just tell her you love her (do you?).
I'd also plan to cut back on the extravagances.
If you feel sort of miffed at that advice, then you are angry enough to move on, and should!

I got an email from her today. Any input? I think it's a good thing. Should I respond? I don't really plan too. I think less is more...

Hey,
    Been trying all week to send you out an email but I keep getting caught up doing something else, sorry! But I wanted to email because I feel like phone calls and texts just don't go the way we want them too.  But I want you to get through your head that I am not doing this to hook up with somebody else, to find what else is out there.  I would never do that to you.  I am truly sorry that you saw that Facebook conversation, and sadly there's not too much more I can say about it.  But the main thing I wanted to get through to you is that I'm unhappy, and it doesn't come down to you making me unhappy, I make myself unhappy.  But the thing is I can't be in this relationship unhappy its not fair to you and not to me.  Because I found myself dealing with you more then me.  I would stress myselffff outtt sooo much trying to deal with our problems and that's not fair to either us being stressed out by the person we love. I just really wich you could live a day in my shoes.  I know you hear it constantly, but in reality you still are only hearing it from an outside source.  You don't go through the emotional and physcal strain that I have to deal with.  It pulls everything out of me and by the end of the day the only thing I want to do is go to sleep.  But when we were fighting, I would cry everyday, everyday! I just need this break for myself.  I don't want to end this, I don't want to at all.  Its obvious that we are a perfect couple when I am not at school and I don't have stressful things in the way.  But for now, I just need time to think of myself.  You are in my mind always and in my heart. If you think you can wait for me to be me again, I would love that however I know how hard these situations are for you and if you don't think you can handle it then let me know.  I will understand either way.
 
Love you

Let me start by saying that showering her with gifts in no way obligates her to anything, other than accepting how YOU feel about HER. That's on you, so please don't get caught up in "how much I do for her" thing.

If its from the heart then it has to be FREELY given with no expectation of anything back except appreciation, or don't give it. You can't buy love.

As to the arguing about the seeing each other, I have no clue as to why that's a problem being 45 minutes away.

After reading your Email though, you should just give her what she ask for, SPACE to deal with herself without adding to the stress of school, and her social life without you. Having arguments over Facebook, and not seeing each other is useless when you can work together to establish regular times to talk, and there are always emails, I mean, why make scheduling talk time and face time such a big deal. Don't argue discuss.

Take her reassurance and relax, as you are both better off having fun without each other sometimes. Its easy though to get carried away when your girl isn't there when you want her to be, but set a few simple free times in both your busy schedules, and stick to it.

No response at all? Seems a little harsh for the situation.
If you love someone, you don't have to stalk them but you don't have to zip your lip either. You can say 'Do what you need and want, I am here, I love you, we may both drift apart and we may not, and I will always care.'

Her email does give us a clue about her side of the story - she feels that you were hounding her about getting together. It's such a simple and solvable thing, unless one person really does want out. I'd keep on good terms, move on, and who knows. She may contact you a year or 2 from now, wondering...