momo21
Feb 20, 2011, 09:07 AM
I am currently in a relationship where my guy is 14 years older. Im 25 and he's nearing 40. We met almost three years ago and are currently living together. The beginning of our relationship started rather dramatically (he was still in one - I was in the dark about it for a few weeks. Their relationship had been on the rocks for awhile) I moved in with him shortly after his ex gathered the last of her things.
I know we moved quite fast, and despite all the drama and stress that circled around our relationship, we were still physically intimate with each other, until now. I feel like even though we do still have sex (maybe once a week)... it's always me pleasuring him and him putting in virtually no effort in pleasuring me. In short, I haven't had an orgasm since thanksgiving.
I used to talk to him about this but I feel like at this point I am just nagging him and I don't want to do that. He's not a very open person, so he gets defensive Very quickly. I kept trying to give myself excuses like "he works so hard" (he works 12-14 hour days) or that he's a lot older etc etc but at this point I am starting to lose confidence in myself. I feel like I am not an unattractive person, and I am fiercely loyal so I would never cheat on him, yet I can't help but feel like I've given up so many opportunities to be with someone who could possibly value intimacy as much as I do.
Am I being over dramatic about this? I care about him very much, but I am tired of feeling lonely and unwanted. Is it time I throw in the towel and look for greener pastures or is this just a part of life that I have to deal with when dating an older man. I know men and women are different but I can't imagine that when I'm forty, my sexual desires would dampen.
I know we moved quite fast, and despite all the drama and stress that circled around our relationship, we were still physically intimate with each other, until now. I feel like even though we do still have sex (maybe once a week)... it's always me pleasuring him and him putting in virtually no effort in pleasuring me. In short, I haven't had an orgasm since thanksgiving.
I used to talk to him about this but I feel like at this point I am just nagging him and I don't want to do that. He's not a very open person, so he gets defensive Very quickly. I kept trying to give myself excuses like "he works so hard" (he works 12-14 hour days) or that he's a lot older etc etc but at this point I am starting to lose confidence in myself. I feel like I am not an unattractive person, and I am fiercely loyal so I would never cheat on him, yet I can't help but feel like I've given up so many opportunities to be with someone who could possibly value intimacy as much as I do.
Am I being over dramatic about this? I care about him very much, but I am tired of feeling lonely and unwanted. Is it time I throw in the towel and look for greener pastures or is this just a part of life that I have to deal with when dating an older man. I know men and women are different but I can't imagine that when I'm forty, my sexual desires would dampen.