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View Full Version : I'm pregnant and my boyfriend won't.. .


MissAshley11
Feb 17, 2011, 04:30 PM
I am 20 and my boyfriend is 26.. . We both found out I was pregnant August 3rd 2010 and our baby is due in the beginning of April.. . he has had no problems wanting sex with me, but all of a sudden it is like he is repulsed by the thought of me. He won't lay close to me in bed, he won't kiss me as long as he used to, he only hugs me when he leaves for work, he does nothing sexual with me anymore. He has never voiced that he is afraid to hurt the baby, and I have asked him if it was a concern for him before when he would have sex with me.. . and now all of sudden he just doesn't. He won't. He has had no problem having me go down on him or give him a hand job but he won't even touch me in the slightest way. We have been together for a year and a half, he cheated on his ex and she cheated on him, he claims he will never cheat on me, and I have never been unfaithful to anybody. Should I be concerned? He works long hours and sometimes gets off late late at night he is a general manager of a Domino's Pizza on a college campus and is right on Greek Row.. . I'm not sure if I should be worried or not.. .

talaniman
Feb 17, 2011, 06:38 PM
Is this the first child for you both?

Fr_Chuck
Feb 17, 2011, 06:40 PM
Where you worried about him cheating before this ?

Many men ( my guess a larger number) esp toward the latter months don't understand, find the changes hard to deal with and are even scared of the idea of being a father soon.

How much do you talk, is he open to talk about it,

MissAshley11
Feb 17, 2011, 08:20 PM
This is our first for both of us.. . I'd talk to him about it, it just seems like he is just going to tell me what I want to hear, and what I truly want to hear is honestly how he feels.. . if he really doesn't want to touch me at all, then at least I know, yeah it hurts to hear, but the truth is what I want. And as far as worrying about being cheated on before hand, I have always worried with every guy that I may get cheated on.

I guess the way I look at it is, I am too scared of becoming a parents, this wasn't planned, but wasn't prevented and I love this baby so much I can't wait to have him! But even if I was afraid I could never deprive my boyfriend from his needs or feeling needed, or wanted or like he was doing at least one thing right in a world he feels like he is doing all wrong. Which is basically what he is doing to me.. . I am just completely lost

Lucky098
Feb 17, 2011, 10:08 PM
Some guys aren't turned on by a big pregnant belly.

Not everything is like the movies. I have many friends who were all pregnant and things just didn't happen during the final months.

There are probably 100 different things running through his mind right now and having sex is the last thing on his mind. I have heard that some guys just don't like to do it when she is huge and pregnant, I guess it feels weird.

Every person is different and everyone has their turn ons and turn offs.

If he isn't pleasing you, then don't please him. Pretty simple. When he starts asking questions, bring things up that you are concerned about.

Drop in on him at work one day late at night and bring him something. If things seem awkward, then you may have reason to be paranoid about the cheating thing. If things seem normal, then you have nothing to worry about. Do your own self checks and see for yourself what he is up to.

Some guys aren't easy to open up. Sometimes you have to pry them open.

talaniman
Feb 17, 2011, 10:15 PM
You are scared, but remember, so is he. It's a life changing event for you both, and the closer to your time you come, the more nervous he will be. Ask me how I know. Just tell him you need hugs and reassurances as guys cannot read minds or take hints.

Write him a letter so he can refer to it often, because we can make love, but can't make love. Got it. What you thought he was a girl with chest hair? He ain't pregnant, but you are and it scares him.

MissAshley11
Feb 18, 2011, 09:47 AM
@Lucky, my boyfriend (at least from what he tells me) isn't repulsed by a pregnant belly at the slightest. I am not assuming it is just like in the movies.. . in fact I'm not a movie person.. . lol my boyfriend would tell me all the time that it drives him wild and he loves a pregnancy bump.. . there are guys in this world who like it. But like I said things as of a couple weeks ago have all come to a complete stop. He had no problems trying to have sex with me, my tummy has been big with this baby since I was 20 weeks now I am 33 weeks and from then until a couple weeks ago he had no issues having sex with me what so ever.

But thanks for all of the input, it really helps a lot! :)

mmresd
Feb 23, 2011, 10:41 AM
If you are showing because of the pregnancy, maybe he being able to see the baby disturbes him and takes away his sexual tendencies? Give it some time, see what happens after the baby is born and don't put stress on yourself and the baby for a situation which you have no control over. Focus on your newborn before worrying about your baby. ;)

Good luck,

Javi