My daughter turned 9 years old yesterday. Her aunt, my sister, told me on the phone she would be sending her money (she was saving for a doll). My sister informed me she would send her $10. I actually thought I herd it wrong and yesterday she called to wish her a happy birthday with an immediate demand if "her" card had been opened. It seems only with my mom and sister they always ask about the gift they've given and want you to acknowledge the receipt (others give gifts but don't ask about you receiving them).

My sister owns four homes and has a very good job. She complains about having to pay expensive Montisorri school tuition and recently her partner aknowledged that because the little boy they are raising (the partner's sister's son)was considered a foster child (prior to adopting him) the state provides funding for additional cost with justification (after the child is adopted). She explained (and at least was honest about receiving money for his schooling from the state)that she wrote for a funding request and the state has awarded compensation for his full school tuition ($1,200) a month and that she has received this money all along, post adoption. THeir combined income is over $150,000 a year. I know my sister's justification is that they only have one child, we have two, so they have to spend twice as much for birthday gifts on our family. She brings this up all the time.

My daughter received gifts for her birthday way over this limit from families that I know don't have a whole lot. It's embaressing and feels horrible that this is how she values my daughter, her own relative?? I feel angry and want to send an email calling my sister on this but the reprocussion when she's called on things like this is world war III. She's gets along great with you as long as everything goes her way. I just try to keep limited contact. ANy advice on how to handle this one?? I'm not sure if it's selfishness on my part, it just blows my mind that people that have so much less give more. Honestly, I'm embaressed for her!

Well you should just stay embarrassed for her. If you want to maintain a good relationship with her I wouldn't say anything. Just be happy with what she did give. Something is better than nothing. It sounds like you have more issues with her than just this so I would have a sit down and discuss all the issues that bother you.

Your daughter is saving up for a doll, and fair play to her and you, she's learning she can't have instant whatever she wants, and saving for something is a good lesson that sticks when learnt at a young age.

As for your sister, well I'm sure she thinks she has it hard, but, she did send a card, and cash, she did not ignore your daughters birthday.

Be gracious, be nice, say thanks very much, a kind word never broke anyone's mouth.

She's your sister, she's not going anywhere, better to be on good terms then causing a big rift.

Don't we teach our children that its how much a gift cost, it's the thought!! I know you feel that your sister should give more, but we all need to practice what we teach our children.

I have a sibling that thought because he had no children and bought gifts for his nieces and nephew for any holiday or birthdays that the parents should purchase him expensive gifts for his birthday and christmas to make up for those. I finally spoke to him and asked him to just grow up and if he wanted to participate in birthday gifts or christmas for my children then that would his choice and how much would be his choice, for I was no longer going to pay "keeping up with the Jones" game with him.

I give gifts to let the person know I was thinking of them on their special day or holiday. I am in hope that is how they are accepted it. Remember generosity doesn't always have to mean MONEY, it can mean just accepting a gift with class and dignity.

As far as the one on one relationship with your sister, I have come to realize life is way to short to hold a grudge. So you either try calmly to patch things up or you simply learn not to allow the drama to effect your life.

Take care

I think you are out of line expecting more cash, because they have more income. $10 is what they give, for whatever reason, and for a 9 year old, that is a lot of money.

Likely your daughter gets calls to see if she's received her card, because your daughter should have acknowledged it herself, and didn't.

At 9, they can make a phone call, or send an email, to thank the person that sent them a gift, before the sender wonders if it was ever received in the first place.

I hope that your daughter doesn't pick up on the fact that you are disappointed, and even embarrassed for her aunt, for not sending more money for her birthday gift.

Even just a card, without money, should be acknowledged by way of a thank you for remembering a special occasion.

I think you have some issues... honestly I make more money than my other relatives but I am not expected to buy each child a gift. My relatives are happy with me just sending out emails or posting on their Facebook "Happy Birthday"... I'm sure they are delighted when I do send gifts but I am not OBLIGATED to do so. Besides most people with money have more expenses than what you think... you're only seeing the income part.