Im 19, gay and I study art, and photography at college, and I aspire to be a model, as much as I have never opened up to anyone but my best friend, I just find my life in such an awkward position, I don't drink, I don't take drugs, I feel like a robot, I feel like one day I woke up and I was tuned to feel like a living walking joke, I don't trust anyone, I feel when Im given compliments there just peoples remarks to make fun out of me, the point of this question is to ask what am I suppose to do? I've realised I've lost all faith in myself, lost all hope and lost my inspiration and passion in life, I lost a guy I fell for, he walked out of my life, its been a year today, my friends are walking out of my life, and I'm not sure if college is what I want, myself confidence is disappearing, and my joy or life and personality are becoming weak and dry. Smiling and pretending everything is OK, is something I feel I can't do anymore, I just don't think I can do this.

You are supposed to be comfortable in your own body. Until you learn that, you will be in limbo.

I have an empathy to people who are productive, artistic and colourful. Is the problem that you are too colourful. You think in colours, and you are not comfortable with that.

I think in colours because I am artistic, my medium is stained glass. Artistic people are usually very much misundertood and travel in their own circles, until they find a happy medium.

You just haven't found you circle yet. Don't worry about it. You sound intelligent.

The person who walked out of your life is probably better out of it.

Get on with it, as Nike says Just Do It !

Tick