Hi, My mom wants nothing to do with me, and she just strait out hates me. She always says how her job isn't to be a friend, or to even like me, but to control my life and to get me to become like her. She always screams at me for not getting good grades, which does anything but encourages me to try more. I do try my very hardest but everything in school is way harder for me then everyone else in my class. I don't have a known brain damage, but I was dropped on my head was a few months old. My mom says she doesn't get how stupid and disrespectful and useless I am because she was a strait A student and a professor. She wants to change me entirely and I won't let her change me. I have two brothers and a sister and she also hates my oldest brother and thinks he's an idiot. We are both fond of each other and have many things in common. Whenever we have emotions that are bothering us, we write poetry, and draw things. We are both very good with music and art. My mom also has been screaming at me bad language, which just makes me even more upset. She is not encouraging at all and makes me want to end my life. I have thought about ending my life many times, but I can never go threw with it. I am only 11 years old and please, please, don't say I am to young to know what I am talking about and that I'm not mature and that I am having these feelings because of puberty. I know its not because of that. My mom has hated me for a very long time and I have to cry myself asleep. She always in my business so I can't to anything private. She reads threw my texts, goes threw all my computer files and tries to find any song, or drawing, or poems I've written. If she does find anything, she shows it to my sibling, then they make fun me and then she throws it away. I have become very secretive and I try to avoid talking to her. She hits me, hurts my feelings continuously and never cares what I have to say. She says that I could never have friends with my bad attitude where in fact I have a few who really care about me and say they would support me threw everything. Also whenever I get really sick, or have physical problems, she won't even take me to a doctor just to get them looked at. But if its one of my siblings (not the oldest brother), they don't even have to ask. The second they even say anything hurts, she headed to the doctors. She forces me to practice my violin and piano, which I used to enjoy and she said I could get a guitar for Christmas. Now she says I could never keep up with three instruments. She said I could get a guitar 4 and half years ago but that hasn't happened. And it probably never will. She lies to me all of the time and tries to make everyone hate me. She pulls me out of things I like and say I don't deserve happiness. What should I do? She is not the person I can talk to and my siblings hate me. Also the oldest brother doesn't have time to sit and talk. Finally, I can't talk to my dad about it because he's just as bad, and he is also barely ever home. I don't have relatives and I don't have a school counselor and I just want to get another family, one her loves me for me and cares about me. I have felt this way for about 2 years now. As I said before, can you respond to me as if age didn't matter? I hate being treated like an immature child. Thanks for your time to read this. Thanks even more if you respond

You need to talk to a trusted adult at school. A teacher or a counselor. She's hitting you? This is abuse and it needs to stop.

I'm with J. even if there is no phsyical abuse, there is obvious emotional abuse going on here, and you need to speak to someone. Your teacher, principal, school nurse or psychologist, even a friends parent.
Please keep us updated honey!

Hey
Thanks for the comments
I will

I'm glad. Pleas keep us updated hon. We care about you and want to make sure you are safe