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View Full Version : Should I take the money?


teargral
Feb 13, 2011, 05:35 PM
My hubby and I been married almost a year but we haven't do any legal marriage document by court. He has a separate daughter. We lived together about 4 years before marriage. However last year, I didn't work and came back to school. He's the only bring home income. As previous poses, he's a disrespected husband and I been up and down with my disrepected step daughter. We always have to deal with my step daughter about school complains, her bad attitudes. I could tell that he's stress out with it plus with our budget. Lately, he told me that he didn't feel happy to live with me. He felt pressure on the chest when he came home every time. I told him that every time he came home, he always has to deal with his daughter and solve her problems. He barely talked to me. I don't bring pressure to him.she is the one. He said it's not about his daughter. It's about me . He said he never has love for me. He been with me just for the grateful things I did for them in the past and now he paid me back enough by taking care of my school tuition lately. Now he don't want to live with me anymore. I need to move back home to live with my parents and move on with my life. It will be best for both of us. I was shock to hear that. He turned out a... guy and I am very disappointed to hear that. I asked him why he lied to me at the beginning when I tried to stay away from him. At the time I didn't love him deeply. He said he thought I knew that he lied. I said I don't and he just make me falling in love deeply with him. I tried to work on our relationship but every other two day, he came home to pick on me, even curse at me. He said I need to go home, he don't love me, he can't trust me for watever I do . I was so depress and sad. I can't take it anymore so I moved back home with my parent. He texted me the other day saying that he will help me to pay school tuition but I replied him that I will borrow private loan to pay my out of pocket tuition. I don't need his pity. We just filed tax together recently and has some money back. Should I keep that money or do I have to give it half back to him? Beside that, he has nothing for me to take.

ScottGem
Feb 13, 2011, 05:39 PM
my hubby and i been married almost a year but we haven't do any legal marriage document by court.

If you were not legally married in the eyes of the state then you are not married.

Fr_Chuck
Feb 13, 2011, 06:28 PM
I would take the money and let him help you start a new life.

Jake2008
Feb 14, 2011, 09:04 AM
If you aren't legally married, I'm not sure how you filed a joint tax return. I'm not a legal expert, and suggest that before you consider keeping the cheque, or cashing it, or splitting it, be sure that what you have is a legal right to do so.

As to the end of your relationship, while you may not see that as a good thing now, in the long run you will come to realize that this split wasn't caused by his daughter. It is the same as saying the split was caused by his gambling, or caused by his drinking, or caused by an affair.

While his daughter was a contributing factor, it was you and your boyfriends inability to work through the issues, and together, solve problems. No matter if the problems were his daughter, or anything else. His daughter may have been the icing on the cake, or the straw that broke the camel's back, but it was the lack of commitment between you and your boyfriend to work through problems, regardless of who was 'lacking' more.

If he is offering to assist you with your tuition, it is up to you to accept it or not. That you choose not to, doesn't mean that you can keep that tax return either, IF there is a connection there.

You tried hard, and gave it your all to solve the obvious problems with his daughter that in turn caused great strain between the two of you. But now, it is over, and I hope that you continue with your studies, and move on with your life, knowing you did your best, and the relationship just wasn't meant to be.

teargral
Mar 11, 2011, 07:29 PM
BTWm I decided not taking the money. I gave him back all of our tax money when they deposited directly to my account. I didn't take any cents from it.