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View Full Version : A love dilema


4answers
Feb 13, 2011, 02:04 PM
Love is a positive emotional interest to be with the other person, based on physical attraction, personality attraction and positive rewarding experiences. I.e seeing a value in the other person!!

When love goes it is because of negative rewarding experiences, no time together, negative view of personality or negative physical attraction. I.e seeing no value in the other person.

How then if your value I.e love has gone from a person, how do you get this back ?

(Any person, not just one... how do you raise your value)

JudyKayTee
Feb 13, 2011, 02:09 PM
I don't know that you do get it back. I think there are various stages of love - puppy love, that first time you meet love, long-term love, relationship love.

I think love keeps changing as a relationship keeps changing.

When it's gone I don't think you get it back.

0rphan
Feb 14, 2011, 01:21 PM
You are very clinical about your disciption of... LOVE.There are all kinds of love, which we experience throughout our lives, starting with mother/baby love... a deep bond never to be broken, followed by infant/toddler love... security in the mother love,a safety net that's always there.As we progress through life growing,finding our way, we are safe in the knowledge that our parents, no matter what mistakes we make, will always be there to pick us up and reassure us with those well used words... it's OK we still love you.Instantly you feel better,the bond of love between children and parents is in my opinion the strongest.

Eventually you grow up and meet various people, having gone through the- puppy love stage and the boy girl friend phaze, now you search for a person perhaps to share your life with.
Different people have various criteria,e.g.. for some it may be physical attraction, that's fine but who's inside? Have they a personality or are they relying on looks to see them through their life,hoping to eventually fall in love... but looks fade!

Some look for a match of minds, looks are not as important.I know of such a couple,intellectually their perfect they've been together for many years.They have what I would call a very deep bonding love.

There are those who on meeting a person have an instant connection... chemistry,love at first sight, it does happen, if they are lucky they will have a long and happy life together.

Many people settle for a comfortable sort of love that has a bit of everything.. security is usually the reason,plus they don't believe true love really exists.

When the love that you've searched for, believed in,built your whole life around, lets you down by maybe having an affair or what ever it may be, then I don't think you can ever capture that magic again.
People do stay together after such events but things are never the same.

In my opinion a couple needs to live their own life individually, conquering their own goals at the same time remaining true to their partener, that way their relationship will never become boring, each will always have something to say.. something new to keep things alive, their love will blossom.