I am with a wonderful man for the last 3 years. He was married before for 27 years and the marriage was dead for over ten years. He left his wife and moved over to my country to be with me. We have bought a lovely home and we are extremely happy. But there is just one VERY important thing that is upsetting him and making me feel rather guilty. He has two grown up children one 20 the other 23 and they will not communicate with him in any way.

His ex-wife and him still communicate but not very often and only really when it is necessary and are fairly amicable with each other.

The children were aware of how unhappy their Dad was before he left home - but now they will not speak with him at all.

Is there anyone out there they could advise me on how he could approach them or someone in the family to encourage them to talk to him again. He has flown over to them to meet with them and written to them tried calling them - but to no avail. I have heard from people who are my partners friends - his ex-wife has been bad mouthing him to the kids and will not encourage them to speak with their Dad.

If anyone can give me some advice in the matter I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT

As this is the only matter in our relationship which is not good. His daughters birthday wa Christmas Day and he tried calling her but his ex-wife told him she was not there!!

And he spent hours crying about his little girl as he loves his chidlren dearly. I have also been told by some friends of his that he was an amazing Dad to his children.

Can anyone out there help??

I think its his ex that you need to talk to since she's the one destroying the father's reputation. Unfortunately, because she has more of an influence over the kids, she's the only one who can convince the children to get in touch with their father. She needs to understand the importance of the father-children relationship and she cannot keep destroying it like she does, whatever happened between the parents need not involve the children and she needs to keep her feelings out . Having said that, this is a sensitive issue and is one both you and your partner will need to discuss to figure out how to approach the mother to deal with the problem. Chances are his children will be in touch with him later when they are able to think more clearly for themselves without their mother's influence but until then the only person who can get through to them is their mother. She needs to make them understand that their father did not just run off and abandon them to be with someone else.

All I can say is - Time heals all wounds. His kids are wounded. Divorce is horrible on EVERYONE.

His kids must be pretty imature not to realize how unhappy their Dad is.

You can't push anything. Just leave it be for now. It's part your life for now.

I will bet $1 million one day they do reconcile - just not today.

You most likely do not have all the REAL stories - just HIS side. It could get ugly.

I'd wait this out.

My sister got divorced about 8 years ago and it took six years for me to be cordial to her ex husband.

TIME!!

You might still not know all the bad sides to this guy... being stubborn, not willing to change etc.

AND I hope you did not CHEAT on his wife with him! I hope NOT!! Because you will never be OK with them then. Just asking. Never.

It may take years to get his kids back in his life.

Yes, but you never said if you got together before or after the divorce... before the divorce and the may never come to him.