LizzyRachel
Feb 10, 2011, 03:30 PM
My husband and I have been separated for approximately 5 years and we have a daughter together, Maryanne who is 10. I am currently going through a divorce. Last year in the summer holidays Maryanne stayed with her father for a couple of weeks as my elder daughter (Elizabeth, 19, from my past relationship) had recently had a break down and Maryanne's father didn't want his child to see Elizabeth during this time. This is fair enough as she wasn't in the right state of mind. However, he never brought Maryanne home and has taken her to live with him; despite the fact Elizabeth is now better 3 months down the line. He has also changed Maryanne's school without asking or discussing it with me first. Now my daughter doesn't want to see me unless I move back in with her father and cancel the divorce, even though she knows he's pushed me away by being manipulative, lying to both me and Maryanne over the years, and by buying £70.00 worth of marijuana a week, he is getting himself into debt by doing this, which I think is unbelievable. Maryanne seems to be blaming me for everything as I am the one divorcing her father. When she lived with me last year, I asked her what she thought of me divorcing her father; she said she didn't mind so long as the arguing stopped. She's been living with me throughout the time her father and I have been separated, Now all of a sudden she is gone and completely out of my life. My husband knows I have been through this in the past and have lost my son (Andrew, 14, from previous relationship) through an abusive relationship with his father. My husband is using Maryanne as a weapon towards me, he has brainwashed her and everything he has said (whatever that might be) is affecting her mentally, but my husband obviously doesn't care so long as he knows he is hurting me by turning my daughter against me. I have tried moving back in with my husband for Maryanne's sake and because I really don't want to lose her. We all agreed we'd try our best to make it work and be a family, but I had to leave after a month or so because I saw no change in my husband's actions. He continued to buy Marijuana and act negatively toward me. I really don't know what to do for the best, and I don't want any of this affecting Maryanne even more than it already has. Please help, I am at breaking point.