leadon7
Feb 10, 2011, 02:37 PM
Warning: LONG
Good Morning All. I need some major help. I need some straight talk advice.
I'm 30. I've been married for 3 years. I've been with my husband for 8 years. We have 2 small children. I take care of myself. I mean, even though we have been together, I still dress up, wear makeup, stayed same weight, etc.
I will admit that during the last 2-3 years, we are not as sexual and sleep in separate rooms, but with everything else we are fine. I don't like to sleep with him because he snores very loudly and since I have had children I'm sorry, I need peace and quiet when I sleep. He also likes to sleep with the TV on. Basically I only sleep somewhere else, because I rest better that way. We are intimate sometimes, but not so much. I'm tired. I go to school, work full time, and take care of the babies. He doesn't help me with the children, won't fix anything in the house, won't clean anything, he is lazy. And I know the rule that if the man is missing something he goes out and gets it. I'm just confused to why he went out and got so much more.
Last year early April, while I was pregnant with our second baby, I found text messages my husband was sending back and forth with a girl he works with. I went the motions, cussed him, called her, texted her, this that. It was just text messages, I forgave him.
In December last year, I found out he was communicating with her, via Skype. The only words I saw on the conversation I found were from her and they said something to the effect of "I know you can't make promises to me".
This sparked a huge argument, excuse me fight. I tore up his clothes, called her job, and almost got her fired. I almost got him fired. My mother was involved, this and that. It was huge. Then the "I'm sorry this and that". I forgave him.
On Tues. Jan.25th, as I was getting ready for work, I walked into the bathroom and happened to look into his phone. I found a conversation he was having with someone about them having a baby together, how he can promise her love, how he wanted to go far with her, how she didn't feel great because he can't promise her anything, how he didn't want to lose her out of his life, this that. I confronted him that morning about that, after I took pictures of the messages. I went to work, didn't speak to him for days. On Friday, Jan.28th, through a connection I have, I found out the phone number is from the same girl I found out about over a year ago in April as well as December. And I found out he is an authorized user on her account.
He came home from work, we got into a huge fight, police were involved, and he ended up leaving to go to his family's house. I sent the pictures of the text messages to his mother and sisters. They cursed him out, told him he was wrong, they told him he needs to fix the situation with me; they didn't want anyone else as a sister in law but me, this and that.
Okay on Sunday night, he comes home. The first thing he does is look for his clothes that I cut up. I know I shouldn't have done this. Not come in the house and run to my arms, nothing. He just started an argument about his clothes. So we argued that night, I couldn't go to work on Monday jan.31st and he couldn't go either. We were up too late. We sort of made up. I had to basically make him call and break up with her on speaker phone, the only thing this heifer said was, "What about what you told me". She said, "What about my key". He had a key to her apartment. She boo hood. I didn't say anything while he was on the phone. I just mailed the key back to her when they got off.
So a little more investigating and I found text messages he and she were sending to each other FRIDAY Jan 28 all during the day, before he came home and we got into the fight.
The messages were very hard to read. I found out that they go out in public together, I found out that she comes to his job to meet him there and parks in the same spot. He told her she should probably change her number again. She told him I started texting again and forwarded him the messages I sent her. He told her to "ignore me" and "that she will probably move out".
So what I want to know is he sorry? Is it just because he got caught? Does he love this girl? Will I be able to trust him again? Is he done with her?
Tell me what to do.
Good Morning All. I need some major help. I need some straight talk advice.
I'm 30. I've been married for 3 years. I've been with my husband for 8 years. We have 2 small children. I take care of myself. I mean, even though we have been together, I still dress up, wear makeup, stayed same weight, etc.
I will admit that during the last 2-3 years, we are not as sexual and sleep in separate rooms, but with everything else we are fine. I don't like to sleep with him because he snores very loudly and since I have had children I'm sorry, I need peace and quiet when I sleep. He also likes to sleep with the TV on. Basically I only sleep somewhere else, because I rest better that way. We are intimate sometimes, but not so much. I'm tired. I go to school, work full time, and take care of the babies. He doesn't help me with the children, won't fix anything in the house, won't clean anything, he is lazy. And I know the rule that if the man is missing something he goes out and gets it. I'm just confused to why he went out and got so much more.
Last year early April, while I was pregnant with our second baby, I found text messages my husband was sending back and forth with a girl he works with. I went the motions, cussed him, called her, texted her, this that. It was just text messages, I forgave him.
In December last year, I found out he was communicating with her, via Skype. The only words I saw on the conversation I found were from her and they said something to the effect of "I know you can't make promises to me".
This sparked a huge argument, excuse me fight. I tore up his clothes, called her job, and almost got her fired. I almost got him fired. My mother was involved, this and that. It was huge. Then the "I'm sorry this and that". I forgave him.
On Tues. Jan.25th, as I was getting ready for work, I walked into the bathroom and happened to look into his phone. I found a conversation he was having with someone about them having a baby together, how he can promise her love, how he wanted to go far with her, how she didn't feel great because he can't promise her anything, how he didn't want to lose her out of his life, this that. I confronted him that morning about that, after I took pictures of the messages. I went to work, didn't speak to him for days. On Friday, Jan.28th, through a connection I have, I found out the phone number is from the same girl I found out about over a year ago in April as well as December. And I found out he is an authorized user on her account.
He came home from work, we got into a huge fight, police were involved, and he ended up leaving to go to his family's house. I sent the pictures of the text messages to his mother and sisters. They cursed him out, told him he was wrong, they told him he needs to fix the situation with me; they didn't want anyone else as a sister in law but me, this and that.
Okay on Sunday night, he comes home. The first thing he does is look for his clothes that I cut up. I know I shouldn't have done this. Not come in the house and run to my arms, nothing. He just started an argument about his clothes. So we argued that night, I couldn't go to work on Monday jan.31st and he couldn't go either. We were up too late. We sort of made up. I had to basically make him call and break up with her on speaker phone, the only thing this heifer said was, "What about what you told me". She said, "What about my key". He had a key to her apartment. She boo hood. I didn't say anything while he was on the phone. I just mailed the key back to her when they got off.
So a little more investigating and I found text messages he and she were sending to each other FRIDAY Jan 28 all during the day, before he came home and we got into the fight.
The messages were very hard to read. I found out that they go out in public together, I found out that she comes to his job to meet him there and parks in the same spot. He told her she should probably change her number again. She told him I started texting again and forwarded him the messages I sent her. He told her to "ignore me" and "that she will probably move out".
So what I want to know is he sorry? Is it just because he got caught? Does he love this girl? Will I be able to trust him again? Is he done with her?
Tell me what to do.