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meco57
Feb 9, 2011, 12:05 PM
I am going out with this woman for 3 months we were doing good she visited me and I visited her I also proposed to her at the company christmas party and she accepted me but one day her ex calls her he was in problems where he lived he had to leave and he has no family so he asked her if she could leave him stay in her place till he gets his own and she told me she did not know what to do and for me to don't worry because she only had me and that was it.
So one week later she tells me she went to church spoke to the priest because she was confused her life wasn't easy she allways hard a hard tme and now she added more **** to it that is why she was so mad at her self so she told me the priest told her she looked like she was ready to have a mental breakdown and that she should leave everything and everyone in hold and to seek her self first and love herself then everything will connect with her so I have not contacted her but today she text me she is not well she has asthma so I text her that if she needed me she told me no so I to;d her I be sad by her being sick she tol me she knows I speak from my heart but if I could give her space to follow her path and the funny thing in the social network she had me as in a relationship and now she took me off she never told me this I found out the hard way but she still says she cares and love me to give her time she told me we were rushing this to fast to give her space to find her self what should I do someone please help me on this one

Trueblu
Feb 10, 2011, 05:36 PM
That is a subject that a lot of people face believe it or not. They get involved w/ someone and make a commitment and then suddenly they had a cross roads and change totally their commitments to others. I know this person may be nice and you really love her. But the thing is we cannot manage people to love us back and have the same feelings. I would let her be. In my opinon-- people who are not sure of themselves don't need to be in committed relationships. It only gets worse and you have problems later down the line. Let her find out what she wants to do w/ her life and in the meantime you move on to what you want out of life. Be prepared to face a loss in commitment and continue to be her friend. Sometimes when we don't force things they tend to work themselves out. Hope this helped somewhat.

Cat1864
Feb 10, 2011, 06:16 PM
Meco, do you live in the same city? I ask because you say that she 'visited' you and you 'visited' her?

How long did you know her before you started dating?

How long did you date before you agreed to be in a committed relationship?

If you are still 'dating' and today is included in your 'three months' dating, then you had barely been in a committed relationship before you asked her to marry you. I mean how long was it a month... month and a half? If you stop and think, don't you think that was rushing things?

I do think slowing down and actually getting to know someone before asking her to marry you is a good idea.

Don't put your life on hold waiting for her to decide what she wants, but make certain that you are officially broken up before you start dating other people.

Whatever else happens take care of yourself. Make certain that you know what you want. Make certain that you are asking someone to spend the rest of her life with you because you love the person and not because you have convinced yourself you should be married.