Hey guys,

So I have had this relationship back in the US that became a long distance one and which at one point ended. Well last week she called me crying and saying that she missed me and how much she loves me and realizes she wants to be with me and that s all that matter.
I was happy to hear this, of course but wasn't sure about what to do. So we started talking but nothing more.
So a couple days later she calls me again and we talk, at which point I was like do in these few weeks what have you been up to ? Did you go out with anyone? She begins telling me its not of your business if you want to get together we have to to forget about the past and about the stupid things that happened between us. I told her that no I cannot even think about us for one second if I don't know what she is thinking and what she's been up to. So she tells me that she went out on a couple dates with this guy and spent the night at his place but didn't sleep with him, that she felt this loneliness and it felt good at first but then she wanted that to be me and she started to feel and realize how much she loves me and just wanted to be with me. I told her I cannot trust you anymore, how can yo do this when we were broken up for only a few weeks?? She was like I feel so lonely and I need to be with someone, but now I know that that someone has to be you. I dditn know what to asnwer.

So as I am trying to understand the sitaution and ask questions, she start to flip out and says are you stilla sking me questions, you are so stubborn and you can't let things go, and you are regretting me coming back to you ? I started laughing and was like you are kidding right? You expect me to be like okay sure lets have a go again wihtout knowing anything? She then went crazy and the conversation ended.

The next day she text me again, she was like I hate what you did to me, yesterday after our conversation I was so mad, you make me mentally sick, last night I went out and I had a few dreinks (she never drinks) and I kissed this guy to try and feel better, and I felt worst and like ****. This is all your fault and I don't know what. All I want is you and you act like this stubborn kid and can't move passed all this, and you left me here...

What the hell is this? I can't believe I love a woman who acts this way... what do I do ?

Despite everything you have heard so far... do you want this girl back... do you still love her... can you get over the past? Nothing less than a 100 % yes should warrant you coming back into this relationship to give it a second chance.

I don't know anymore to be honest with you

Why let HER drag YOU back into this situation? You are a grown adult, if you don't want to be in middle of all HER drama, then block her from contacting you. You are in another country, its not like she can just drive over and force her way in. Block her from all computer contact, and Don't answer her calls, or even better change your number. Only let your family and closest friends know new number, make sure they know not to give it out to her.

She cannot do anything to you unless YOU ALLOW IT!! Now that you had a little time with out all the extra drama do you want to jump back in, or do you really want to try moving on to see what might be out there that you are missing? Just a thought.

It comes down to YOUR CHOICE. Best of luck on that--take care

All of these threads about your ex need to be put together. I know the others have been closed, but obviously the relationship is still an issue for you.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/long-distance-advice-460234.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/having-hard-time-letting-go-514952.html

Two words for you that have been used before: NO CONTACT!

She is correct though that what she does while you are not a couple is her business-not yours. It doesn't matter what details she gives you. You are going to want more because you can't let go of the past and move forward. Knowing the details won't end the questions in your mind. They will only bring up more questions.

Stop playing games and stop making her the problem. It is no longer about her drama. It is about yours. You can end all of this by keeping No Contact and giving yourself permission to move forward.

Accept that you don't trust her and LET GO.

Empower yourself, tell her NO THANKS, and then relax, and let the next chapter begin.

Why do you keep starting new threads about her any way??

I don't know if this advice is appropriate, but if your relationship ended at one point, I suggest you don't rake up the past, or everything that happened in between. In order to have a good functioning relationship, you need to tear down the past and start anew. Start slow. Start as friends and build a new good solid foundation. All the things you want to know about her, you will discover bit by bit without needing to ask. By forcing answers out of her, you aren't going to get any. She will only get defensive as no one likes to be questioned or accused. If she's not willing to go slow and start from friends, then maybe she isn't mature enough to handle a relationship and you shouldn't waste your time with her. Good luck!

Yeah, why did you start new threads?

You are acting desperate, jealous & weird. Don't want to face life without this girl.

Get your crap together. Man up & stop forcing.

There's others out there. But they are going to see your insecurity a mile away until...

Forget this & move on. Don't confuse getting your rocks off with a relationship.

NC.