We have been dating for 1.5 years. We moved in together 6 months ago, knowing it would be a good way to save money to buy a home, something we had always talked about. All was well, with the normal ups and downs. Recently, we had been in a funk, but we were getting by. A week ago, after a normal day, she came home from work, packed a bag and left. I was blindsided to say the least, with all the usual reactions, no eating, no sleeping, etc. We talked twice since about what happened, and both made several realizations about what was missing and how it could be fixed. But I did a great deal of thinking and realized several things I needed to change about myself to a better me, and know these will be good for us. After telling her all these things, she says she can't know if I'm serious about it, and that she looking for a new place. I tell her that it's OK, and maybe this was what we need to do to make it work. She says we can try. Then before leaving, she says she doesn't want to try. I at least got an answer and was satisfied, I had been preparing for either. But at this point, I have begun to make those changes for me, and know I am doing the right thing for me. We now have to deal with her moving out of my apartment, and I'm trying to be as gracious as I can. I have packed most of her things for her, but it's going to be rough. I am trying to take the high road by helping her as much as I can, which also trying to limit my contact with her so I can continue to get over it. I truly believe there is still a future, but am going to get on with my life despite my feelings and pain. The no contact policy can't be put into effect until she is completely moved out, and I am going to work very hard to be an adult during the move. The moving may take a while, how do I protect myself and the healing that's already began during this period?

It'll be hard to protect yourself without no contact. Keep conversation to a minimum, and even avoid seeing her, talking to her, when she comes over to pick up boxes of her stuff. Go out grocery shopping or something during those times. The less contact and conversation you have with her at this point, the better it will be.

I'm guessing she will get her stuff out as quickly as possible -- and make sure she does.

You can always put ALL her stuff into storage and tell her to go back where she use to live, or with her parents, whatever.

Exactly how long is this supposed to take? Does she gave a place picked out, or is she still looking?

Talaniman Rule- When you break up, have the courtesy to revoke their relationship privileges.

Talaniman Rule-Room mates pay their share of the expenses.

She's looking, actually saw her when I was driving home today looking at a place no more than a block from here. As for how long, no idea

Its okay to help, but rent is due the first of the month. I would sure have an agreement on expenses, and privileges, because there ain't no free ride, especially for some one that's dumped you. She is already living rent free in your head, and heart. That's too much help already.

I agree. She packed a bag & split.

Good that you are working on being a better person, you should anyway. But do it for you, not her.

Don't be in contact. It'll help with your healing & build a stronger character.

She may not be for you or vis-versa. Oh well. Not everyone is meant to be.

Like Tal said, she doesn't deserve those relationship privileges.

So either tell her to get the rest of her stuff asap, or put it out of sight.

Dumpster?