Hi all, just wanted to ask why doesn't my hubby Doesn't like me in lingerie? I don't understand this. Do you think he still finds me sexy? Thanks!

Different people have different tastes. It might be he just doesn't like the lingerie you're picking out, or he doesn't like lingerie in general. The only one that really knows is him.

Why don't you talk to him about it? He's the one with the 411. :)

I have never really been into it either, Men have different tastes, hopefully he is talking to you, and you can discuss this with him.

Does he prefer you to be just nude in bed ?

Yep he just prefers me nude, but I like to wear lingerie! So it's a bummer for me because I don't feel sexy when I see his reaction when I have it on. And I have asked him a few times and I just feel like he lies and says he does like it, and I know he doesn't because his actions say otherwise. And when I see him looking at me in lingerie it turns me off and makes me feel ugly! Hmmm I'm just confused I guess? Trying to sort my thoughts

How long have you two been married and is there any other reasons that you are concerned? It sounds to me (from what you have written) like you are allowing insecurities to develop and that is not a healthy thing to do.

I have a male friend who prefers his wife nude. To him, her body is the most beautiful sight in the world and lingerie covers up her natural beauty.

Does he get turned on when you walk around with nothing on? If so, then believe him.

Accept that you have different tastes in some things. Has he ever looked at lingerie with you? You might see if there is a style that works for both of you.

Talk to him and maybe the two of you can come to a compromise. Wear the lingerie for you and take it off for him.

I am with Cat1864. I think Lingerie can look attractive on a woman. I also love seeing my lover nude. Lingerie is almost like wrapping on a present. It makes her look pretty but the real treat is underneath.

We have also come to an agreement. Since Lingerie is more me then it would be for her, she's a very practical woman, it is up to me to get it for her if I want it.

That is me as a guy chiming in.

As for you, wear the lingerie when ever you feel like it. I know several people that wear it under their clothing to work and the good stuff too. Makes her feel a little naughty and very sexy.

Your husband finds you sexy. That is a certainty if he likes you naked.

Me... speaking as a man. Finds the right lingerie for the woman to be quite a turn on. However once it gets time to crawl into bed... I preffer bare flesh to press against at that point.

I agree with the others with asking him. Although it sounds as if you already have your answer.

If he finds you sexy with nothing on, then I would say you're in the clear...

I once had a lover that really didn't care for lingerie... However, what he absolutely loved, was when I would wear his college T shirt, panties, and my hair in a pony tail. He would go crazy.

He would even request that I go put it on...

So you see, each person is different.

Wow you guys were extremely clearative and helpful! Thank you so much! Yes cat1864 I definitely am letting my insecurities make their way to the bedroom. I know deep down he finds me sexy, but I just constantly doubt myself. Perhaps I should ask some questions about insecurity and trust within myself. Thanks all, I honestly appreciate every answer back!

I am glad we've helped. :)

If you want to ask us anything else, go right ahead. We will give you any help we can. Sometimes just talking about your fears can help ease them.

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So my husband and I have been married almost a year, I have found myself during this last year become more insecure within myself. I have felt that being married has made me less sexy in ways, because I am so familiar to my husband.

Recently he told me how attractive he found our friends sister. I was disturbed, I want to know how to accept that he feels this way. I know he won't cheat, and I know he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful also but it's just that when he says these things I start to judge myself and constantly think of myself as not being good enough.

We grew up in different settings my parents were extremely conservative and did not ever tell one another if they found some else attractive, however my husbands mom and her husband always have and it's not a big deal for them at all! I want my husband to feel free to tell me these things, and have friends that are girls if he pleased (which he doesn't) but I want him to have that freedom in our relationship to be a human being!

But my insecurities are so strong. And the girls he finds beautiful are all very similar, and look nothing like me, which makes it worse, in my mind. Anyway if anyone has any suggestions or can get in the mind of a guy and explain it to me that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much to you all!

Guys are visual. That's why many guys like porn. It's not about sex, it's not about what they want or don't want, they just can't help but look. It doesn't mean that he doesn't find you attractive, it just means he's a guy.

The worst thing you can do is judge yourself on what he sees in other women. When he mentions an attractive woman he's not comparing her to you, he's just commenting on her. Doesn't mean he's interested. Doesn't mean he doesn't find you sexy. Again, he's a guy, and that's how guys are.

Now, we women are emotional. We will see a nice looking man and comment, but it's not a major part of our lives. For women it's all emotions, feelings, getting into our heads. It's really hard on the poor guys that love us, because they are wired completely different then we are.

The sooner you understand that he's just being a guy, and that he loves you, chose you, married you, and committed to you and only you, the better off you'll be.

One thing that can drive us girls nuts is trying to understand why guys do what they do. They feel the same way about us. But, if you realize that he loves you, finds you sexy, finds you desirable, then you'll come a long way in relieving your fears.

You have to learn to accept that you are what you are, and he loves you for that. The rest is just him being a guy. :)

Thanks altenweg! I feel like those are all things I was thinking but wasn't sure if I was just rationalizing the situation. Reading it aloud makes so much more sense, anyway thanks a ton!

Hi Makingchanges, would you also like a guys opinion. Alten was on the money. Guys are visual. And I am sure if he realized that it bothered you to comment on another female he would be more careful. Like you said his family is used to giving comments on the appearance of other. If you were not attractive I am sure he would wanted to spend his life w/you. My gets on me sometimes for not saying how good she looks--like I used to. It's because I tend to get used to how she looks and assumes that she already knows. Men and Women see things so differently at times and it will challenge the union. But to me that's what makes it so enjoyable because we compliment each other weaknesses and help to movtivate change in each other. Listen is what I keep getting hit with and then I will know what my spouse needs from me. He wants you I am sure and he does not want you to change. He wants the woman he fell love with. Give him the attention you desire and I am sure he will receprocate. I hope this was enlightning coming from a man who has been married for 22 years. God Bless.