Keep having suicide thoughts, tried before, took 50 ibuprofen tablets and ended up in hospital. Things just keep getting worse and I really don't have a reason to live. Also don't have anyone to talk too about problems.

Are you in the U.S.

No Germany , I'm Scottish but live here

Allan, there is much information needed to help understand even what your question is.

How old are you, some history to provide a better picture of what's gone on that has brought you to this point.

People just don't wake up one morning and decide to end their lives without reason. What are your reasons, and what can you comfortably talk about in order to receive a better understanding, and better responses.

Have serious financial problems, have problems with my girlfriend. I'm 28 years old. Nothing seems to run smooth for me never. When one problem is sorted then another seems to come along. I just seem to have bad luck all the time.

It sounds like wave after wave. No calm after the storm.

Sometimes, there is a very distinct cause for all of this piling up. For instance, if your girlfriend and you are not getting along, and you are having serious relationship problems, that affects everything from health to bank accounts and everything between. No matter how significant or insignificat other problems are, everything revolves around the health of each individual, who are,sharing the problems in one relationship.

Much of that theory will depend upon if Im in the ballpark or not.

Other contributing factors might be substance abuse, ex wives, children, job loss, illness, unexpected car repairs, bills falling behind, pressures of work and all that entails.

Is there a main problem that you see as being the catalyst for all other things, much like a domino effect. Starts with something specific, and then topples after that.

Has depression been something you've dealt with before? Any other mental health issues, either yourself, or with your partner? Have you seen a Doctor to address the depression and resulting anxiety? Tried counselling? What changes have worked, and what hasn't worked. Do you see things that you should do, but don't have the energy to keep trying?

When you took enough pills to land you in hospital, what transpired after that- any recommended treatment? Have you been given advice or referral? Has this happened before?

Can you translate the 'bad luck' you say you have all the time, into more specific examples? How do you normally cope with all this bad luck that comes your way.

When is the last time you were truly happy.

Still trying to understand here.

The last time I was really happy was when I met my girlfreind. I ended up in the intensiv care unit, then transferd to the psychiatric unit but was let out the next day because it was awful. Now going to private counselling once a week, but it doesn't help the other problems. The pressure that I am under finactualy seem to put me in a bad mood and seem to snap at my girlfriend. I don't really have any friends so the problem is I just sit around most of the day, when I'm with my girlfriend I feel so safe as if nothing can happen to me.

I just can't seem to come out of this depression or low point that I'm in. And then start to think why bother . Why put yourself through this feeling that I have when I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

The last time I was really happy was when I met my girlfreind. I ended up in the intensiv care unit, then transferd to the psychiatric unit
Why?

private counselling once a week, but it doesn't help the other problems.
Why not?

The pressure that I am under finactualy seem to put me in a bad mood
You need a job, even a part-time one?

Did you ever consider volunteering at a hospital or an animal shelter or a library?

the problem is I just sit around most of the day
Let's think of ways to break out of that pattern.

The counselling is good to get my problems out but it doesn't help my financial problems. I teach golf and all the members live in our town so it would look bad when I have a part time job. Voulentering for the hospital or animal center haven't really thought about it.

The counselling is good to get my problems out but it doesn't help my financial problems.
Have you ever brought it up and talked about this?

I teach golf and all the members live in our town so it would look bad when I have a part time job.
So your teaching doesn't pay well enough? You need more clients?

The problem here is that the season is only 6 to 7 months long. You earn enough but the last season was really bad due to the weather and started really late due to the snow. I couldn't even pay for medical insurance. Was lucky that nothing happened to me. The bank can't help because I'm self employed and have asked golf club if they will employ me because then the bank will help but still haven't had an answer. That was over a week ago. Can I just say thanks for even replying to me.

Why can't you have a part-time job that fills in during the off season?

Please keep pursuing the health insurance/employment situations.

I hope Jake or I or someone here can help you somehow -- maybe consider something you hadn't thought of or start volunteering somewhere or rethink how you spend your days and certainly start liking yourself more.

I can't because it's in my contract. You still have a contract over here even though you are self employed. The medical insurance has been sorted. My girlfriend mum helped me out there, but I feel such a failure in front of my girlfriend. She has had really stupid boyfriend in the past I am ending up just like them.

I can't because it's in my contract. You still have a contract over here even though you are self employed. The medical insurance has been sorted. My gf mum helped me out there, but I feel such a failure infront of my gf. She has had really stupid bf in the past I am ending up just like them.
Why failure? It sounds like you are doing what you need to do and coping as well as you can. There's certainly no shame in asking for help, otherwise, I'm in big trouble!

Can the contract be rewritten/edited/revised?

Rule #1: Don't compare yourself to anyone else.

I see an intelligent, well-written, and well-spoken young man who has needs and wants just like the rest of us. The tricky part is how you go after them and attain them.

With contract it won't be changed, my colleuge tried that last year but our boss said no. My girlfriend dad owns the golf club as well, but he is a very difficult man to deal with. I haven't had much to do with privately just at work. I wrote him a letter explaining my ideas on how it would benefit him if he employed me instead on the deal that I have now. My girlfriend can't helpe either by talking to him because he is the type that sees business and private life separete, which is OK. I don't want special favours just because I'm with his daughter together. He hated her ex and is glad that I'm with her but in honests truth he doesn't know the half of what's going on. He is a very busy man and trying to get a meeting with him is really hard. But if I tell him what's going on then I will just look like a complete idiot and he can male peoples life really hard. It isn't that I'm stupid or anything like that. I just don't see a way out my situation. If he says no to my idea then I am really in trouble and I would everything I have.

What would be the worst that could happen to you personally, if you simply resigned. I realize there is a contract there, but would he seriously pursue that against you legally, while you are with his daughter? Let alone, what's the point, he will need to replace you.

Perhaps, with all these interconnected relationships, your girlfriend, her father, her family, small place where everyone knows you, you may think your initiative might not have any result, but, could it?

If you were to have a plan in place. What do you WANT to do, or, if you were fired tomorrow, and you could have your druthers, what type of career would you pursue. What were your hopes and dreams before you met your girlfriend.

Maybe, the 'before' part of your life, has resulted in 'settling' for what you have- and the 'after' part of your life, is still possible.

So what would you say, if your girlfriend left tomorrow, and the next day you lost your job. What would you pursue, if it were a perfect world, and you could reach a long time goal that you had before all of this started.

How long is the contract good for?

Do you have a degree or any schooling beyond high school?

I just to be happy with life, be able to have a family and be able to care and support for them. That is the perfect world. I have played golf since the age of five and don't know anything else, that's the problem. Didn't really concentrate at school because I knew golf is what I wanted to do. I love my girlfriend more than anything in the world, she is great, a real power women, she knows what she wants and knows how to get it. That is the sort of women that I need. She has everything that I want in a girl and I wouldn't change her for anything in the world. But always have the feeling that's she fed up with my problems.

How long have the two of you been together? (Don't tell her, but I'm falling for you myself.)

Contract last for one year, runs out in 31.12.11 just did my apprentice for golf, that's the problem I don't know anything else. I like my job when the season gets underway. I get a lot of respect from the members and guests but all the problems just build up inside.

You are a wonderful writer. What about writing articles on golf for several golf magazines? You probably know a lot about golf. (I know what a tee is.) I'll even act as your proofreader/editor.

Been together for a year now, we knew each other before we started seeing each other for about 2 years. She works in the hotel that's how I got to know her. To begin with she thought that I was just out for a bit of fun with her but realised that I was serious. Deep down I really am a good at heart person, and I know how my dad treated my mum, and I always said to myself that whoever I am with, they would never be treated that way.

Thought about it, more really to pass the time. It just kills me that my girlfriend won't reply to my text messages that I sent her. It hurts that I can't see her, I miss her cats, when I'm not with her Its as if something is missing. It's like the jerry McGuire film when he says you complete me. You may think that we have only been together a year but we were practically with each other everyday and it kills me not being with her.

Why won't she reply? What's been going on? Is she tired of your upsets?

I think so, she has done it before as everything started to kick off in October. Maybe we have just spent too much time with one another and she just needs time to be alone, but it's the not knowing that is unbearable.

What about the writing? Is that worth pursuing?

Tell her you miss the cats.

Never really about the writing, I know I would start but then stop because I don't really know where to send it to. I slept at hers on Friday night and we had an argument and then she said " I think it would be better if you slept at yours tomorrow night" . As I woke up and left, she was still sleeping , it was hard saying bye to the cats because I don't know the next time I would or will see them again. I treated them as of they where my own.

Never really about the writing, I know I would start but then stop because I don't really know where to send it to.
That part I can help you with.

it was hard saying bye to the cats because I don't know the next time I would or will see them again. I treated them as of they where my own.
I totally understand your missing the cats. If you text her again, be exciting and adventerous and even mysterious sounding, not needy and upset and suicidal, or however you've been.

I have five cats now, with two new ones rescued from our yard (we've been feeding and socializing them since summer). Deborah and Dido have blended right in and I hope are grateful, since there's abo8ut two feet of snow outside from a blizzard last week (Chicago).

Never really about the writing, I know I would start but then stop because I don't really know where to send it to.
That part I can help you with.

it was hard saying bye to the cats because I don't know the next time I would or will see them again. I treated them as of they where my own.
If you text her again, be exciting and adventerous and even mysterious sounding, not needy and upset and suicidal, or however you've been.

I totally understand your missing the cats. I have five cats now, with two new ones rescued from our yard around Christmas (we've been feeding and socializing them since summer). Deborah and Dido have blended right in and I hope are grateful, since there's about two feet of snow outside from a blizzard last week (Chicago).

I looked on the Internet on how to send stuff that you have written but never really saw anything that helped. I would have fun writing stuff but what? There are so many writers on golf and the top magazines already have their writers.

I looked on the Internet on how to send stuff that you have written but never really saw anything that helped. I would have fun writing stuff but what? There are so many writers on golf and the top magazines already have their writers.
Then find a niche -- handicapped/disabled golfers, women golfers (women's mags are always looking for articles), kid golfers just starting and children's mags also look for articles. Golfing is kind of a weird subject (not your usual cake recipe or toy article). I did one with a writing friend who has Asperger's -- he's a big fisherman, so we connected how fishing has helped him with various needs he has. It will be out in March in an autism magazine.

Maybe I should write something, thanks for the ideas, I don't want to bore you with my problems but it's always nice to be able to talk to someone who can maybe help.

Maybe I should write something, thanks for the ideas, I don't want to bore you with my problems but it's always nice to be able to talk to someone who can maybe help.
In real life, I'm a counselor (when I wasn't cataloging books at a public library -- am retired now), so I love being bored listening to people's problems.

I don't know how much help I am, but I hope I am giving you options to think about.

And be sure to text the cats by name to say goodnight tonight.

You are a great help, believe you me. I just don't want to annoy my girlfriend, I have only written 2 texts since yesterday but I still don't want to feel as though I pestering her. You said before that I am a good writer, how do you know?

You are a great help, believe you me. I just don't want to annoy my girlfriend, I have only written 2 texts since yesterday but I still don't want to feel as though I pestering her.
Address a text to a cat by name and talk to the cat about something -- "Has Mommy given you any treats today?" or "Have you been getting in your sixteen hours of sleep per day since I last saw you?" Women are totally charmed when you do something like that, text her cat. How many cats are there, by the way?

You said before that I am a good writer, how do you know?
I'm a perfectionist when it comes to grammar and spelling and punctuation, and I can see you write well just by looking at your writing. It flows and is interesting to read. And you aren't a native English speaker either, although you started learning English when you were young?

I am Scottish, I have lived in germany for 7 years now. There are 2 cats, Emma and leonie, Emma is pure black and leonie is grey And silver. Emma is around 1 1/2 and leonie is 8 months. Both really sweet. Emma is more the quiet one but has her moments and leonie is the more playful one.

I am Scottish, I have lived in germany for 7 years now. There are 2 cats, Emma and leonie, Emma is pure black and leonie is grey And silver. Emma is around 1 1/2 and leonie is 8 months. Both really sweet. Emma is more the quiet one but has her moments and leonie is the more playful one.
They sound like beautiful cats. Yes, text them!! It's time you became playful.

Of ours, Rasputin is black and white and 19 years old, Kuro is 11 and from our back yard and must be part Maine Coon and is all black with a beautiful profile, Little Debbie is gray and maybe six years old and another rescue, and then there are the two recent rescues, Deborah and Dido, both black and sleek and maybe two years old. I totally adore cats!

I love cats as well, I sent a text and wished my girlfriend goodnight and also the cats by name and told my girlfriend that I love her, but she hasn't replied. Just hope she gets in touch tomorrow. But won't hold my breath.

I love cats aswell, I sent a text and wished my gf goodnight and also the cats by name and told my gf that I love her, but she hasn't replied. Just hope she gets in touch tomorrow. But won't hold my breath.
I think stay out of your gf's hair and don't annoy her by acting needy. When you talk with her, tell her you are getting into writing or talk about the future, that should help. She's probably scared for you and don't want her heart to get broken.

Going to try and get to sleep now, it's 11 pm here now. Will try and get some sleep. Thanks very much for your help and your time. I will let you know if she gets in touch and let you know what's happening.

Going to try and get to sleep now, it's 11 pm here now. Will try and get some sleep. Thanks very much for your help and your time. I will let you know if she gets in touch and let you know what's happening.
Sleep well. You've done well today. I'm proud of you, and will be happy to stay in touch. (I live on this site now that I'm retired.)

Hallo wondergirl
I spoke to my girlfriend mum this morning and asked her to see what is going on. She knew that we had an argument on Friday but said that we had to really think about what is going on before it really is finished. But how can I do that when my girlfriend won't even speak to me. My life will really be at an end if she does finish with me. I have a really bad feeling that it is finished or that she will fonish with me. The problem is tjat then I don't really have anything to live for. It doesn't really seem to bother her that we are not able to see each other and that hurts me a lot. Makes me feel useless, as if she os happy not speaking to me. I would do anything and everything for her if I could. I spelt the name of one of the cats wrong. I put keonie instead of lilly. But my mobile does that automatically and didn't read the text back. She then wrote back saying " lilly not leonie!!!". I wrote and said it was a mistake, but she didn't reply. I really am at an end and have basically done with the idea that things will be good again with my girlfriend. I just can't get it out of my head.

I think we are getting further and further away from addressing the issues that belong only to you.

Your first post you admitted to an attempted suicide, which eventually put you in a psychiatric hosptial. You went on to say that you have relationship problems, which seems to be front and centre right now, as well as you having financial problems, employment problems, and continuous 'bad luck' as you described it.

While I can see that at the moment the thought of your relationship ending is causing you stress, at the same time, your whole world revolves around someone else, and living up to what you see as others expectations.

While you would do anything to keep your girlfriend, you fail to realize that the only person that can help you gain control and direction in your own life, is you. Not your girlfriend, not her parents, only you.

You say your life will really end if she finishes with you, but I haven't read anything where you have an understanding of why that is, and that you won't have anything to live for.

I get the impression that there were dependency problems probably from the start of the relationship. I don't see this as a relationship between two independent adults in their own right, having a mutually satisfying relationship of give and take. Or a relationship that is healthy, and that can survive the temporary problems that come up. A committed couple working together contribute equally to the well being and happiness of the other. Where one party is dependent upon the other for their very survival, and things don't change, it becomes very difficult to see where needs are being met, or fulfilled, or that the relationship itself can survive such an imbalance.

I have been waiting and hoping for some insight into why you have not taken any steps to address your own problems, independent of anyone, or anything else. If you are unhappy, unfulfilled, afraid of the world, not taking steps to find a better job, not addressing the need to have someone to cling to for your survival, then how do you expect to live a healthy life, let alone a healthy life with another person.

You have to be strong in your own right, as your own person. If everything you do, and everything you are, is a result of being dependent upon others, you will have nothing to fall back on, when that support system ends.

This isn't about doing 'anything and everything for her', (in order to keep her), it is about turning your own life around, under your own steam, and being strong and independent on your own. Your world should not end because you face the breakup of any relationship.

I don't know what has put you in this place, but with a suicide and hospital stay already under your belt with this relationship, I'd have a hard time believing that you haven't had problems long before this. Just a stab in the dark, but you brought into the relationship, a person who was the same before, as he was, after.

Without more understanding on your part, of your own behaviour, and how that has caused not only relationship problems with your girlfriend, but also serious problems with day to day living and managing your own life, it is hard to see where you are at this point, motivated to help yourself.

While you focus your whole world on one person, your girlfriend, you are setting yourself up for disaster by the way you are thinking, if the relationship ends.

I'm not sure you can even see the difference in assessing yourself as an independent person, as opposed to a person who is totally reliant upon someone else, for your very survival, as you have suggested in your posts.

Considering all that you have not said, I hope that you will at least attempt to reach out for help, for yourself. Not help from your girlfriend, but professional help, to help you cope with how you see your life now. Please seek counselling, and don't be afraid to start thinking that you may very well have to change your own life, on your own, so that you can start living.

And that includes learning how to deal with disappointments, that may include the breakup of your relationship. If you cannot see past not surviving if the relationship ends, you will again be thinking of drastic measures such as those you first posted with. I hope it doesn't come to that.

Because I get the feeling that I have no purpose in life. I haven't eaten since Friday, because I have lost my appetite. Her brother knows that I won't be feeling good so why does nobody ask me how I am doing. I don't really have anybody who actually cares about how I sm doing. So what's the point in carrying on. I sm so close to just doing it, and that will be the end of it.