Viola05
Feb 2, 2011, 09:11 PM
I'm trying to make this short.
Im in my early 30's. I finally met a wonderful genuine good man that I see a potential future with. And thing's are truly great. It's still a very new thing. And aside from us dealing with a long distance relationship thing the only other issues that may be a problem is He has an ex that he told me he gives a small amount of money to from time to time to get by. She cheated on him and got pregnant by the man she cheated on him with and is now on welfare with no family around. So I guess he is her last resort when it comes to having someone help her out when times get tough. He says he never meets her. He just leaves the money in an envelope in his mailbox and she comes by and gets it. I told him how uncomfortable this makes me. He says I have absolutely nothing to worry about, he just feels bad for her and there's no way he would ever want to be with her after what she put him through. I do believe him, its obvious.
It's not fully a trust issue here but more so... It's just the fact that he can't just completely stop any contact or stop helping her. I can tell he at this points feels bad for her.
So now I told him I just need time to think if this is something that I can deal with, be comfortable with. For my own boundries. Maybe I'm still comparing him to ex's that have done me wrong in the past and now I'm just scard.
I can't help but feel I'm trying to find something wrong because I'm scared. I don't know. I guess I would like advice on what to do. Am I just overreacting and just see it as someone he is helping out but happens to have a past with. It's hard for me to understand because once I'm done with an ex I'm done. I don't want to be mean and cold hearted and make him feel like he has to choose me or her, I know we all come with baggage. I just don't want to making any rash decisions.
Im in my early 30's. I finally met a wonderful genuine good man that I see a potential future with. And thing's are truly great. It's still a very new thing. And aside from us dealing with a long distance relationship thing the only other issues that may be a problem is He has an ex that he told me he gives a small amount of money to from time to time to get by. She cheated on him and got pregnant by the man she cheated on him with and is now on welfare with no family around. So I guess he is her last resort when it comes to having someone help her out when times get tough. He says he never meets her. He just leaves the money in an envelope in his mailbox and she comes by and gets it. I told him how uncomfortable this makes me. He says I have absolutely nothing to worry about, he just feels bad for her and there's no way he would ever want to be with her after what she put him through. I do believe him, its obvious.
It's not fully a trust issue here but more so... It's just the fact that he can't just completely stop any contact or stop helping her. I can tell he at this points feels bad for her.
So now I told him I just need time to think if this is something that I can deal with, be comfortable with. For my own boundries. Maybe I'm still comparing him to ex's that have done me wrong in the past and now I'm just scard.
I can't help but feel I'm trying to find something wrong because I'm scared. I don't know. I guess I would like advice on what to do. Am I just overreacting and just see it as someone he is helping out but happens to have a past with. It's hard for me to understand because once I'm done with an ex I'm done. I don't want to be mean and cold hearted and make him feel like he has to choose me or her, I know we all come with baggage. I just don't want to making any rash decisions.