Its been almost a year that my wife and I have separated she's almost 23 and I'm 22 we been together for almost 6 years. We have one child together he's almost 3yrs old. As time pasted I was always expecting divorce papers to come but it never did, she always told me just to wait its should be coming. After nearly a year I had enough of her games and I called her and said I'm going to file and she said "well if thats what YOU want". During that year that we separated I never thought I would ever cry as much as I did, not only crying I was also very depressed I lost a lot of weight, I lost my sense of feeling like if I was stabbed I wouldn't feel it, and the worse part is that I mentally hurt myself by blaming everything on me.

I am now in her apartment visiting my son for a week, I have a lot of other places to stay but she is strongly suggested I stay with her sleep on the same bed and hold her like nothing changed, and I did. The next day she got a little sick and I took care of her and was saying that she still loves me, and that she wants to be with me, and wants me to make her happy. I was so happy because I wanted that too but confused because I know she is kind of bipolar that she always said that then took it back. Of course I believed it once again and she told me that she isn't seeing anyone that she is a good girl that she never talks to guys. Later that I night I checked her phone to see if she's telling the truth. I found out that she lied about everything that she's seeing plenty of guys and goes out clubbing because I saw pictures of her with other guys in clubs. I tried not to show that it bothered me at all because I love her and I would make it work between us. Later that night she went to the hospital and I stayed home with my son. A few hours later she came back and was a hole new person. Didn't want to hug me before she left to work or even say thank you to me after I cleaned her dirty apartment. I asked her why has she changed and she said that I can't expect everything to happen right away and that I was asking for too much. Then I brought up what I saw in her phone and she went crazy on me and it start this big argument and she began throwing all my past in my face and was talking to me like I'm the worse father ever. I wanted to leave and she didn't want me to so I stayed. I slept on the couch with my son that night and last night I did the same but she was telling my to sleep in the room with her and I didn't she I know she's going to draw me in the push me out again.

Sorry for all the details just wanted to get it off my chest.
Please I need some advice... I never talk to anyone about my issues because I can't its hard for me. So this is my last hope of trying to spill out everything.
What should I do?

I understand Prince, and any thing like this is always amplified when a child is involved.

She knows that she holds the best cards and yes this may be like a game for her and her ego.

She is pulling the strings in this puppet show and until you come to terms with yourself and stand back to realize what is really going on it will only continue.

You need to set some rules here. No contact except for seeing your child.

And you need to become more independent to detach yourself emotionally from her. Presently (regardless whether she is bipolar or not) she is using you.

I do understand Prince as I too went through a somewhat similar situation years ago which I won't bore you with now. I takes strength and fortitude to harden your heart toward her and find a balance to continue seeing your son.

Your goal is to arrive at a point where 'it is good to be you.'

And by the way my friend you cannot make someone happy that is up to them. You can only make them happier. They are responsible for their own happiness in this life.

Stringer

I am not here to respond to you question, but I just wanted to let you know that you came to the right place, just be patient, some times it takes a while for someone to respond but hang in there. You will get the support that you need. Good luck!

Thanks

Thank you so much... I really appreciate your help
And yes your right, everything you wrote makes sense
That's exactly how I feel... I hope I find that point where 'it is good to be me'
Thank you again

It will take some time, it's a journey to healthy mental happiness and moving on to find the happiness you desire.

Stringer

I think that's my biggest problem the 'time' part.I need to have more patience, I want to be in another relationship so bad,at the same time I don't because I don't want to use anyone as a rebound. I don't want to hurt anyone, might stay single for awhile

Actually that is a very good idea Prince and shows maturity.

I was never suggesting that you jump into a relationship. That would definitely be a mistake in my opinion.

Just start seeing other people for fun both male and female friends. Expand your horizons join a health club, possibly church organizations, social outings, etc.

You do not have to get 'serious' with any female presently, find yourself, improve yourself, have fun, add to your knowledge base.

You know this to be true, no one wants to be with someone that is too dependent and clutching. Good people want to be around people that are strong and know what direction they are headed and they may want to stroll along with you...

Life is basically good Prince and there are a lot of wonderful people out there but sometimes it takes some time to find the right ones.

You'll know when 'it is good to be you.'

You said it 'I need more patience.' In the meantime get out there and have fun meet interesting people.

Quick point; when you meet someone be interested, honestly interested in them. Let them talk even about themselves, you do not have to open up and flood them with all you have been through and scare them away.

Good luck bud.

Stringer

Thanks, you gave me everything I been looking for... thank you so much

Its time to move forward. You have given so much control to her, now its time to stand up for not only yourself, but your child. Stop waiting for her to proceed with the divorce, you're a big boy you can do this on your own.

Also you need to stop letting her control were you can spend time with your child. She cannot dictate where you spend the night with your son. Take him to your place and spend quality time with him one on one.

You need to get to an attorney so boundries can be put into place. Moving forward will help you to get going with your life, waiting around hoping she will take you back is just hopeless. Its been over a year, time to get out and start meeting people.

Take care