I am in a lesbian relationship I have 4 kids all together, oldests dad passed away my 6 yr old just started seeing his dad last year, but my youngest 2 there father is a druggy has no control over himself and are not involved with my boys, my girlfriend is great with them and she has no problem taking on the responsibility and even if we ever split (which I don't think we will) I know she will be there to love those kids no matter what. So what steps can I take to make this happen? Fathers not even in same state running from the law has a horrible rap sheet.

In some States you have to be married. In ALL States you have to have the written consent of the father.

What State (and the father's rap sheet matters little)?

The state is Illinois... I don't think the father would show up to any court dates or anything though he could care less.

Also her and I plan on getting married in 2012 which I'm sure that the adoption will have to happen after that is done.

The father has to consent. It has nothing to do with appearing or not appearing. If you cannot get him served (or cannot find him) the Court will issue a Order that he can be served by publication. If you know where he is he HAS to sign the documents.

If he doesn't care, hopefully he will sign the papers.

Have you looked at this website? http://www.thetaskforce.org/activist_center/act_locally/illinois

I was reading and it had said that if the father does not show that it could be granted by default of him not showing... idk... I will get a hold of lawyer soon... thank you very much for your help (:

i was reading and it had said that if the father does not show that it could be granted by default of him not showing.....idk....i will get a hold of lawyer soon.....thank you very much for your help (:

That may be true, but you would have to prove the father was served. In other words the father must be informed that the adoption was happening for a default to be granted.