I am 29yrs old female and he is 7yrs older to me.We are both virgin. During the initial phase of our relationship when he told me he gets hard just by seeing me, it just made me smile. Past 6 months we wend beyond just kissing, he forcefully fingered my vagina and removed my bra to suck on my nipples several times.He also asked me to give him a hand job twice(I didn't know this term and had to search net for it). Initially I had this guilt feeling and soon got use to this habit of his. He has also asked me to un-zip my pants during public meetings which I did'nt do. Every time we meet he talks about our sex life after marriage and how desperate he is for sex.He would always rub my *****. Many a times I have felt that when he is horny, all he wants is sex even without knowing how I will feel about it. He is the only and the 1st man in my life. His behavior makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing by agreeing to marry such a hyper- sexual man. I want my man to respect my feelings first than just get laid. Please tell me if I am doing the right thing by sticking to him?

What isn't normal is asking strangers online to determine whether you should marry a man based on nothing but details of your sex life.
Whether he is hyper-sexual or not, I would say no, especially since sexual desires wax and wane in most people, and that term is not one to be used lightly.
You need to communicate your feelings and wishes more to him.

The fact that you said he ' forcefully fingered your vagina' is enough to send me running.

And your right, you should want your man to respect your feelings before just wanting to get laid.

Time to give this bucko a reality check, tell him to grow up, your body is yours, not his... if he does not understand that, send him packing...

Your 27, you don't need this crap from a grown man, I can tell you there are real MEN out there who would not dare forcefully do anything to the women they claim to love.

Are you sure that he a virgin as well?
Men may say that.

He should respect everything about you, and he should realize there is an appopriate place for "sexual things" to happen...

I would sit down and talk to him, make sure he understands what you want.

But remember there are plenty of men out here who would respect and understand your feelings and decsions.

It is hard to say,
Obviously you are not from the US and live in a different culture, So where are you from

You are right, I am asking strangers bcoz I have nobody else to ask that to. May be the way I put this question is wrong. Right now I am hurt and confused. You want more details...

He is my junior at college, trying to pass his exam past 4yrs, he is still financially dependent on his parents, he has no job no career till now. He never told anything to his folks till now. I have supported him emotionally all this while..

He claims he is a virgin. We haven't spoken past 1mth since when he said "lets do it just once and i wont tell anybody" because I was angry and hurt. We meet at work everyday and he smiles at me, his eyes tell me he has taken tis relationship 4 granted.

Thank you, I have been very disturbed past 1mth. Your suggestion is a good relief

I agree with Redhead - I would have been out of there when he became "forceful."

I don't know if he's hypersexual, an exhibitionist (unzip your pants in public?), a braggart or someone who will turn into a rapist.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to redhed35 again.

He sounds far too involved with sex to be trustworthy.

No one should ever be allowed to force any sexual act on you .
I think you should have told him to go away and stay away then.
And I think you still should.
You don't need a man like him in your life.

Dump the jerk... he needs a blow up doll... not a girlfriend.

As everyone said... the right guy don't FORCE you to do anything...

And nobody should ever FORCE another to do anything... He's really not all that far from behaviour that could be considered rape. If you ever said no... and he kept at it... thats all it would take.


Definitely not Husband material... not even boyfriend material... and not friend material either. He has no respect for you... and has proven it time and time again.

Thank you all for your advice. I greatly appreciate that you spend your valuable time to answer my question. I could gather the courage to dump him and move on. He tried hard to get me back though(begged me not to leave him, said sorry, bought a gift which he didn't all these months).
My only problem is I cannot come out of this guilt of having done all this and letting him go that far in this relationship. I am emotionally devastated. Some day I will have to face this and tell my future husband that I got fingered and all hoping against hope that he will accept me for the way I am...
Is fingering legally considered an act of sex, am I still not a virgin?
PLEASE ANSWER ONE LAST TIME...

The virgin debate is one that we've had often on this site in the past.

It all depends on what you believe virginity is.

If you believe that penetration by a penis is the only thing that's considered sex, then you're still a virgin.

If you believe any sort of penetration or sexual act is considered sex, then you're not a virgin.

If your hymen is still in tact then I believe that you can call yourself a virgin, and your future husband will think that as well.

That's another debate though. Many girls tear their hymen from normal everyday activity, even though they are in every way still a virgin. But the presence of a hymen will definitely indicate virginity to any man you have sex with.

Yes am from south east asia not USA

Now I'm confused - you started your post by stating you are both virgins. That is apparently what you believed at that time. Now that the relationship is over you are concerned that you are NOT a virgin.

Agree with Altenweg - depends on your (or your society's) definition of "virgin." Penetration by a penis? Penetration by fingers? Something else?

When I said 'we are both virgin I meant no sexual intercourse', thanks anyway

Thank you Altenweg

Yes I agree I should have told him to stay away then and not allow myself to be used like this... big mistake. But like they say better late than never. I really feel God gave me right senses at the right time (before it was too late). Thank you

Thank you smoothy. I appreciate your valuable advice.

Comment on JudyKayTee's post -
When I said 'we are both virgin I meant no sexual intercourse', thanks anyways


I don't think you read what I posted. YOU started by saying there was fingering going on and you were both virgins; now you are asking if, because of the fingering, you are still a virgin.

If you believe you are a virgin if there is no intercourse, why are you tormenting yourself with this question?