I am a 25 year old woman, who is married, and just recently purchased a house.
The sad thing is, is that my husband and I COMBINED make $85,000 a year. We have decent jobs, but you would think that we would be well off.. We aren't.. and things are getting worse. I do not want money to hurt my marriage.

Here is my situation:

$180,000 Mortagage (Monthy payment $1430)
$22,000 in credit card debt
$20,000 Student loans
$40,000 Car loans (Me and the hubby's car)

* There is also Gas, Electricity, Water, Sewage, Car Insurance.. (All the other bills)

After the MINIMUM balance on the bills are paid, we hardly have anything left. Maybe $300 for the month, and we use that for groceries. There is nothing left. We have put ourselves in a huge hole. I am scared.. We only got into this house four months ago.. Refinancing is out of the question, because we have no money for closing costs.

I do not see a light at the end of this horrible tunnel.
Any words of wisdom will help..

Thank you,
Me

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Hello your trouble is you are buying too much, you bought a home you can't afford with the other payments, you had to have newer cars, not driving older used cars that would be paid for. You have made bad choices and continue to make them.

So if you want to get out of debt,

1. sell at least one of the new cars and buy a cheaper used car to just get around.

2. cut up every credit card you have and don't use them.

3. If you have not refinaced your student loans, there are several programs out now that allows a very low interest rate.

4. Take your highest debt credit card and start paying any extra money you have on it, and get it paid off, then start with the next one.

5. One or both consider getting another part time job to help bring in extra money and pay it directly on to the highest interest loan.

6. Write out a detailed budget and live by it.

There is always at the end of the tunnel.

I don't understand how you could get the mortgage you did, when your monthly outlay for credit card debt, student loan debt and car payments is so high, but

First things first-- cut up the credit cards. Do not use them. Ever. Again.

Second-why do you need $40,000 worth of cars? Unless the type of vehicle is requisite for a job (ie big pick-up for an independent contractor), then sell them and get something small and gas efficient. Use public transportation. Carpool. Walk to work or the bus stop.

Third--get a second job, both of you. Even if it is only on weekends. A lot of places hire week-end only staff. Big box stores need evening or night help stocking shelves.

Fourth---sell stuff. Try eBay or hold a garage sale. You would be amazed at what you don't need.

Last- make a budget so you know where every penny goes every day. Find ways to live tighter. Look at phone bills, cable bills, internet. You don't need them all. Cut them out for the time being.

It's tough, but you can get out of debt.
Fifth- look at selling the house, getting out of debt, then start saving

As far as your $300 a month for groceries goes, you can probably trim that back quite a bit (assuming it's just the two of you and you don't have medical need for a specific expensive diet)... you can eat from the value menu at fast food places for less than that (One person can have a six-inch Subway sub for lunch and dinner every day of the month and spend $150 to do it, with one of their deals... you can certainly do better than that if you're not paying for prep)

As far as stretching that part of your money immediately, do the following:

Cut out soda completely. That stuff is EXPENSIVE. If you absolutely have to have soda, get store brand stuff... it's going to be a third the price.
Don't eat out. At all. If you're on the road for the day, pack a lunch rather than stopping at Burger King.
Shop at an ultra-low price grocery store... those places make Wal-Mart look downright gourmet.
Don't by anything ready-to-eat. You're paying for the prep and not just the food.
Get over any snobbery you might have about ramen noodles... a couple packs of ramen and a can of tuna will be just about right as a meal for two, and ramen is as close to a free lunch as you're going to get in this world.
Avoid brand names... Green Giant veggies really aren't much different from Uncle Fred's Slightly Irregular Broccoli.
Save any leftovers you have... as soon as you're done eating, toss them in the fridge. Even if it's just two baby carrots, that adds up over time, and you can always mix that sort of thing together and get a lunch out of it.
Buy in bulk what you can, and most importantly, what will keep until you use it (bulk milk? Bad. Bulk canned goods? Good)

In addition, these will help your shopping budget a lot, if they apply:
If you smoke, QUIT SMOKING. That's a huge money sink right there (I have to admit, among my biggest pet peeves is people who are smoking two and three packs a day complaining that they never have any money).
Give up drinking until your finances are back under control. It's an unnecessary expense, and nothing leads to alcoholism quite like drinking under the stress of worrying about money.

Other little things to do:
Switch to low-flow shower heads. Time your showers... I can do a two minute shower easily (although I don't have to wash my hair or shave or anything like that, so your time will vary).
Never leave ANYTHING on in your house that isn't being used right that second. Unplug things like TVs in completely unused rooms, as they draw some power even when they're off (it's not much, but it adds up over time).

Now that you've got that much money saved, turn around and apply every bit of that to your highest interest credit card. Every month. This is not spending money, it's debt-reduction money.

You could also call up your credit card companies to the interest rate lowered.

You could actually negotiate to get lower insurance rates, lower cable, phone, internet. You can bargain with a lot of these different companies.

That way you are able to save more money and at the same time pay more of your bills off.

Joe

A couple of other things to add:

You probably get paid bi-weekly. Budget every single month based on two paychecks... that puts your yearly budget at 24 paychecks. You actually get 26 paychecks... those two freebies should go directly to paying down your debt.

You can probably either get a forebearance on or restructure your student loan payments into a graduated plan, where you will pay less today and your payments will increase over the life of the loans. Yes, this will increase the amount you pay overall, but if you put the savings towards high-interest debt immediately, you'll be doing much better. Then, once the high-interest debt is paid off, you can apply that monthly payment to your other long-term debt and pay them down more quickly as well. Not necessarily the best solution, but it may help get you out of the bind as long as you're responsible about how you apply the money reclaimed.

You can try credit counceling seervices. They can work with the creditors to reduce or eliminate the interest on the outstanding debts. Creditors respond better to them then they would you where they can apply the rough tactics. Your credit may take a mild hit but the house and cars are in your favor. With those, you can rebuilld your credit while paying off the unsecured debt.(those 2 I doubt you reduce interest on) but the student loans and the credit cards they can work with. You pay the service a monthly fee based on your ability to pay and they pay the creditors. They can talk with the mortgage and auto lenders and see what you can do. They can also help set you up on a budget you can handle. It's a lot better than filing bankruptcy and easier to recover from. Check with your bank and see who they recommend. Cut up the credit cards and both you and hubby take an oath never to apply for another one again. Check with your bank about a visa or amex gift card that has no expiration date. Put money on the card and keep it for emergencies only. That way you can use the card and replace what you use.(if you use it there's no worry about a new bill coming in.)

I'll be honest you'll need to dig in and stick to your budget. Which in this day and age is hard. You always come up with incidentals and askidentals. (more on askidentals when the kids arrive) but saving your credit is worth it. Credit counciling is better than bankruptcy because with the latter, your credit gets wiped out and you're stuck with it for 7 years. At least with credit counciling you can salvage your credit.

Good luck and God bless:)