I don't get what's going on. I pretend I do sometimes. I'll look on Google or YouTube and search for information about the universe, what I'm doing here, etc etc. I find answers that make me feel good, and then I try to change thoughts to accommodate. I "messed up" my life by not listening to my parents. But I don't accept that as my fault? Because how was I supposed to know? I don't know if that's a right way to think or not. Alcohol has ruined my life. I had a great relationshp that I can't get over the fact that she's gone. Her dad won't even let me go near her. She's too scared to even contact me. But I hear her in my dreams sometimes, its like she's trying to talk to me. But then I wake up and I'm too ashamed and scared of rejection to try and contact her. I can't drive I can't get a nursing job because they won't send me my license because of my bad record they want these documents and that one and this and that. The only calm I ever find is when I get a chance to smoke some weed and just lay there. But my parents flip on me because they say I make the whole house smell like it. But when I say then let me do it outside they ***** more. Then they say get out of the house. I gladly would if I had somewhere to go. I pray, I read religious book,s but I just want something more direct. I don't know what to do. I just want this to be over


I hate those 30 minute flashes where all the sudden everything seems hanky panky again and I'm happy. But slowly it slips. Or someone starts yelling at me just when I think everythings fine. What do I do? Is anyone even reading this?

Have you suffered anything traumatic or anything that would cause you depression? I think you should try to find some help with a psychiatrist. Figure out what's got your life in a twist here. Once you figure out what has led you up to this point, you can pick a goal and go for that goal.

You really need to stop drinking and stop doing drugs though. You need to get your life back on track because it's YOUR life. Once you get these bad things out of your life, clear your mind and get the help that you may (or may not) need, you will be able to put the pieces back together.

Just remember: you are a valuable human being. You deserve the same chance that everyone else in life gets. You can and WILL make a difference, starting with yourself.

Personally, I think you deserve way more than to turn into a burn out. You have the potential for greatness so go for it!

P.S. My brother is in the same boat, so I've had a LOT of time to yell/nag at him for this stuff.

You said you know that you mess up by not listening to your parents. Most likely, at the time they were trying to get you to understand, you thought you knew better or you were focused on what you wanted to do. That is part of growing up and maturing. Now that you know better, hindsight, eh? you acknowledge that you make the choices that you did and make the decision to do better.

As was said, you get rid of the crutches of weed and alcohol. They may seem to help you but it is only temporary, as you have seen, and they only continue to keep you where you are at. You don't like your parents flipping out for using, so you make the choice to stop using. Then you have a clearer head and solve the problem of the yelling for it.

What is the reason that you can't drive? Is there something you can do to change that? If so, make a list of what you need to do and take it step by step. If you can't change it, what alternatives do you have... bus system, walking or biking, catch a ride from someone else?

Make a list of the documents that you need for a nursing job and start to collect them one by one. Sometimes if you look at the overall situation it can seem overwhelming, and that can keep you from taking any action. If you can break it down into smaller steps, and deal with them one at a time, it can be more easily managed.

You will mess up from time to time, we all do, but how you deal with those slip ups is what matters. People may yell, or be disappointed, but stay the course, get your focus back to your goals.

A good first step would be to see your doctor for an open and honest evaluation of your health. Then be sure you are taking care of yourself through what you eat and drink, getting some regular exercise, and adequate sleep.

Change takes time, and it can be hard to break out of the routine you have set for yourself, but you are the only one who can decide that it is time to make some changes.

What you have been doing so far obviously has not been helpful to you, so decide what steps you can take, even small ones, to work towards the life you would rather have. Get help from family, friends, and your doctor because support in making changes can make it that much easier for you.

Well reading religious books and praying is fine but have you given your life to God? None of that means anything unless you have accepted God and been baptized. As hard it is to believe in a society that tells you that only you control your happiness it is not true. The smoking and drinking are not things that someone would do who has given their life over to God. It doesn't mean you don't have a life but once you give your life to God your life has purpose and you aren't suppose to do worldly things anymore (smoke, drink). Until you give your life to God you will never find the satisfaction you crave. Satisfaction, rest, love, and purpose all come from God when you begin a relationship with him. I was molested for 11 years of my childhood and people are shocked that I am doing so well but God is on my side... that's how I survive. In him, and ONLY in Him, is where you will find what you are looking for but just remember that God doesn't promise an easy ride or a pain free life but he will always be there to help you get through it.

Well reading religious books and praying is fine but have you given your life to God? None of that means anything unless you have accepted God and been baptized. As hard it is to believe in a society that tells you that only you control your happiness it is not true. The smoking and drinking are not things that someone would do who has given their life over to God. It doesn't mean you don't have a life but once you give your life to God your life has purpose and you aren't suppose to do worldly things anymore (smoke, drink). Until you give your life to God you will never find the satisfaction you crave. Satisfaction, rest, love, and purpose all come from God when you begin a relationship with him. I was molested for 11 years of my childhood and people are shocked that I am doing so well but God is on my side...that's how I survive. In him, and ONLY in Him, is where you will find what you are looking for but just remember that God doesn't promise an easy ride or a pain free life but he will always be there to help you get through it.


Not everyone who posts here is Christian - please keep that in mind.

This may very well be YOUR opinion but it may very well not be MINE.

If you would like to preach, please do so on the religious threads.