I have three children two daughters and one son. No problems with my daughters who are happily married with children. My 40 year old son is the problem, he returned home several years ago with his girlfriend because he wanted time to set up his own business and couldn`t afford his flat anymore. His girlfriend eventually left him because he was so quick tempered. He has admitted to being a transvestite and his girlfriend accepted it but he doesn`t, he spent far too much time on the internet almost being schooled by gays and transexuals, he is now taking female hormones although he has been told that he is male and is not really happy at the thought of being female although he likes the clothes. He has now stopped all contact with his sisters and nieces and nephew, he ignores his father and this year ignored Christmas and my birthday last week. He refuses to talk to me except when necessary, he pays almost nothing for living in the house even though he leaves a terrible mess everywhere. He has put a lock on the bedroom door of my house which is totally out of order. Obviously he is angry but I would rather he was angry alsewhere as he he making my life miserable, I just feel I have lost my son and I can`t see any way out. He just refuses to talk about it. My friends tell me to throw him out, but how can any mother do that. I was not soft when my children were growing up and my girls and son respected this. I am very close to both daughters as they live nearby but what on earth happened to my lovely, cheeky happy son, he disappeared 3 years ago soon after my mother and partner died. Yes I am divorced but amicably so and see my ex husband frequently, we are very good friends. I just feel I am slowly losing everyone, my brother, mother and partner all in the space of three years . I have never criticised my son and his younger sister has also supported him and she is so hurt as he ignores her beautiful 2 year old daughter and showed no sympathy when she miscarried twice last year. She now doesn`t even want him to know that she is 5 month pregnant. How sad not only for us but also for him, I just don`t know what to do.

He's 40... he's an adult...

Lay down the rules of the house... which YOU want to see and expect from him to follow.

Or tell him you will evict him. And do it.

You don't want to be an enabler for his bad habits...

Or just have him served legally with a 30 day notice to vacate the premisis... (you will have to legally evict him). THen have the sheriffs put him and his stuff out if he won't leave after that.

Then change all your locks right then and there.

NO person... much less a parent should put up with that behaviour.

If he wants to be a total jerk and idiot... he can do it in his own place on his own dime.

Its called tough love. Also consider having your WILL amended if he continues this destructive behaviour.