Hello. My name is Erin I am 27 years old and after I explain what has happened I hope I don't get berated... I have been reading this site for almost two weeks and all of the advice is very sound and mature and makes a lot of sense. Well.. here is my story...

I met this guy he is 18 years old on a website on December 9th 2010, he is a really nice and down to earth guy. He doesn't drink smoke or go to clubs and he goes to church, all pluses in a guy I look for in a relationship with. Me and he hit it off real fast and quick, like kindred spirits. Well he added me on Facebook and such and everything was going great. Me and him had our first date on December 17th 2010.

It was a really sweet date we went to the movies and out to eat you know very typical date. Also let me put this in here, I purchased a phone for him so that we could talk and text because he was using a device that needed wifi to function and receive my texts so in order to continue talking to one another it was needed, and it was a gift so I don't want it back. Ok this is where it gets sad.. He added me on Facebook and changed his status from single to in a relationship with Erin, you know how it goes on a social network, after telling me he doesn't care who knows or how they feel about it. I did the same. A few days later he tells me that his brother wants to make a Facebook account so he has to take me off because he doesn't want him to know he is into guys as well as girls. Im gay he is bisexual.. don't want to leave that out.

Anyway he has a lot of friends, and his guy friends when he stated he got a new phone started asking for his number and whatnot, I advised him when I purchased the phone to tell me about his friends because I didn't know about the guys I only knew about his two girl friends and they were pretty cool. I asked him to introduce me to them but he never wanted to or even suggested it... I live 93 miles away from him so I started getting nervous, especially when he started posting pictures of him in a towel after he got out the shower and pictures of him in his boxers with his shirt raised so people could see his chest and whatnot. I asked him why did he post pictures like that and if he wanted anyone to see them he could have sent them to me he didn't have to post them on Facebook. He stated that they were just pictures. He also would post status updates like 'Im at home alone, hit me up'. And stay up all night saying stuff like 'I can't sleep hit me up in the inbox' or asking people to text me. When I saw the messages I would text him saying what's up and he wouldn't respond.

Shortly before the break up he got increasingly distant and started saying I had been to serious and no fun. When he would say those things I would be talking about what was bothering me and sometimes it would sound like he would laugh or snicker and I would ask why and he would say he wasn't laughing and try and change the subject by asking me what am I doing and if I had to work at such and such a time the next day. I deeply love him and care about him a lot. I know the first month and what not is supposed to be fun and stuff but when his friends would make comments on his profile like you're cute or I like this or that picture I got a little jealous I would ask him why does this guy say this or that and he would say I don't know its just a status and comment. I would say who is this guy and he would only say a friend and I was like tell me about him and he wouldn't..

He told me he cared and loved me too, but on December 26th he broke up with me. Now I mean I did raise my voice and yell sometimes but that was because he didn't see the seriousness of the matter and how it important it was to me. Hindsight is 20/20 and I know I was wrong when I yelled and got all worked up and jealous but he scared me I felt he does all this stuff with his guy friends like go to the movies towards the end of our relationship with someone he called 'gay super gay'. And he never told me the guys name because the guy told him not to tell me. My ex boyfriend is not out he doesn't want anyone to know he is into guys but the thing I brought up to him was if you don't want anyone to know you're gay why are you adding all these gay guys onto your profile and going to shop and to the movies with a guy that is according to you 'gay super gay'? He swears nothing happened but I was nervous for a long time. My ex before him cheated on me..

I never wanted to be clingy or obsessive but at the end of our relationship he stopped texting and calling me on his own, you know how when you like someone and they like you the honeymoon they text first sometimes and you text first well for a long time I was the one who was texting a lot and calling a lot first. Honestly I want to be with him again, because I know I messed up and know that if I hadn't been suspicious I wouldn't have pushed him away. I believe him now that he was never cheating on me but he didn't do anything in the midst of those situations to make it look less like he wasn't cheating like having a guy over at his house that he said was straight after his family went to see a movie. Granted he did tell me about him and a lot of other things that he didn't have to tell me about and the guy only stayed 15 minutes and what not but still I don't know what I was supposed to think. He is still single even after a month of being broken up with me, Jan 26th makes one month.. I know I love and care about him and he knows how I feel about him but he has stopped calling me and texting back now and I know I hurt him because I can just tell from what he put on his profile that he is hurting. Also he deleted nad blocked me on Facebook but its not a big deal because if not for Facebook I wouldn't be here and sad and broken up. I feel like we had a good thing that was ruined because of me being jealous and parnoid.. what do I do from here, I try to move on but I don't want to be without him and he without me. I truly believe we made one another happy and complete and I told him once that relationships don't just happen people have to work on them for them to work but I don't think he ever got the message, he wanted to have fun and I want to have fun to but I take me and him seriously.. Thanks for any advice

You are both at two different stages of you lives. He is still in the partying,TEENAGE STAGE why because he is a TEENAGER!!

You need to move on and get into a relationship with someone your OWN AGE! Someone who is at same point in their lives who want a serioius committed relationship.

Ok I figured you or some one would bring up the age difference and that is all right my best friend said the same thing and I agree that we are at different stages in our lives but I mean it still hurt nonetheless.

The thing is though I wrote this because I want to be better because of this if not for the age difference what did I do wrong and how do I improve so I can heal from being hurt that is the pain reason I bore all and even told my and his age

Erin,

There is no magic pill to take all the pain away that you are feeling. For the love, don't you think all of us would have taken that pill!! Most of us found this site same way you did, out of being desperate to get over the hurt and pain of a break up.

You are going to mourn your loss. How you do that and how long is an individual thing. Make sure you go NO CONTACT, not by texting or computer. If he still has the phone you gave him--shut it off, you don't owe him anything!!

The reason I brought up the age difference wasn't to make you feel worse, even though to be honest I don't feel you should be messing around with a 18yro young man. The reason I brought it up was to help you understand that he just doesn't have the maturity yet to understand a committed relationship. Its not that you both might not have feelings for each other, but you are no longer a teenager and want more out of a relationship. That's why I said something--okay?

You need to get out with friends, keep busy. Start dating other guys who are looking for a committed relationship, are at the same stage of life.

Don't get me wrong I wasn't offended that the age issue came up my sister and friend warned me but you know how the honeymoon stage goes with people in 'love'. Im glad I didn't listen to be honest thought because this actually woke me up to this amazing site and people that have sadly faced what I am going through. Thing is you know how people seem so much older than their age and vice versa. I know if I hadn't yelled or gotten jealous or had a little bit of trust issues this may not have happened but I was put in a tight spot. Love make people do crazy things and I really thought we could work out the issues but I don't know. Everything in me says please let him come around. But in the meantime I am working on me to work on how I feel when other guys come around maybe come up with some new ground rules before I start dating again.

He is still single and I know I hurt him or he would be in a rebound unless he just not telling me he is in hopes not to hurt me more but he stopped texting and calling me I made it clear after two times trying to go NC failed completely.. I think that is why he doesn't text or call me anymore I think, He tried to give me the lets be friends line and I was like no either we are going to date or not talk at all... guess I got my wish, even though I am 27 this is all new to me. I was focused on my career and buying a car before dating so this is like my first love.

Ill use the time to work on getting better and whatnot but I have no clue down the line if he contacts me what I am going to do. I worried about him wanting to party and do what teenagers do but I mean he really came off so much older than 18, when he told me I was like no you aren't. Ha! I have been reading so long and rolling this over in my head that I don't know what happens next.. By the way I live in a small town so its not a lot of opportunities for me to go out and meet new people. I feel like I am in limbo cause me and him know each other we have a track record but someone new Im a shy person, well in person. I don't like being single but I don't want to disrespect my relationship with him by jumping in to another one so quick even after a month.. We both care about each other I suppose its just a waiting game to see what happens next. Thanks for your advice, I don't get offended easily unless of course someone does it on purpose and rudely.. I didn't take you advice as being rude or disrespectful its something Ive thought about myself

I met this guy he is 18 years old on a website on December 9th 2010

Me and him had our first date on December 17th 2010.

He told me he cared and loved me too, but on December 26th he broke up with me

He is still single even after a month of being broken up with me, Jan 26th makes one month.

When you line up the timetable, you met, dated, and broke up from this long distance relationship after 15 days! You sure fell way to fast for a guy that didn't really get that into it.

Still sucks I know, but don't dwell too much, just go slower next time, and find out a lot more about someone before you give them your heart so fast, just to make sure you know if they deserve it, and know what to do with it. Then it won't get broken by a complete stranger you gave it so quickly to this time.

As embarrassing as it is to admit that is how it went down.. and how fast... but I mean he was on board up until I started asking and talking about who his guy friends were.. It seems like I fell fast but to be honest we both fell for each other I suppose myself more so than he in retrospect, yeah it still sucks and when you put it that way I will try not to dwell on it and go much slower next time but I don't know where to go from here. I hate to be ignored or forgotten. And I mean I have texted and called to see what I should do but he won't respond and its driving me nuts and its seemingly and noticeably making me indecisive on how to move on from here whether I wait or not.. 15 days is a laughable amount of time I know but those 15 days were good and its 15 more days that he has with me over someone new. I know it'll get better but it hurts nonetheless. We had still made promises and whatnot to each other and that has been broken on his part and that is what makes it bad. Thanks for the advice.