Im confused, I have been married to my husband for 5 years we have been together 6 years, when I met him at 17, I told him I felt attracted to women, but he just laughed it off, I do feel something towards women, and I do find them attractive, I have never done "anything" with a woman, but I get the feeling I want to, I'm very much in love with my husband, I told him how I felt and he called me names, I have confided in my best friend and my older sister they are understanding (my sister has been through this) these feelings for women won't go away, I try and stop thinking about it but cant, don't know what to do! :(

Do you have a more specific question we could address?

For married people having sex with others is off limits. The rule is simple. So is the decision to either stay married and all that it entails or split up and jump all the bones you want. You will have feelings for others all your life , what you do about it is what counts. Finding ones sexuality though has ruined many marriages, it all depends if its worth it to leave and pursue something else.

What can you do to work through this? Nothing that the rest of the world doesn't do all the time. Everybody deals with temptation, and everybody gets caught up in the occasional what-if scenarios. The trick is to remember that these feelings of being curious about girls are no different than seeing a guy and wondering about what it would be like to have sex with him.

The biggest thing to avoid is the temptation of bringing it up to him... yeah, stereotypes tell you that he, like other guys, would love the idea of two chicks being together, but there are two things wrong with that thinking: First, he may not be interested in that at all. Second, even if he is up for that, bringing it up as a new thing now isn't going to do anything but hurt him by telling him that he's not enough for you.

This type of thing isn't what you bring up several years into a marriage... if you're going to do this type of thing, it has to be out in the open early on, and even then you're looking at something like a 1 in 100,000 chance of being able to make it work, if that.

Hello sami:

Bummer. Some men, upon hearing about your desires, would be turned on by them. Instead of calling you names, he'd let you explore yourself, and her, and he'd want to join in. Wouldn't that be great?

Too bad you don't have one of those guys. But, you don't. So, you either have to suppress it (not good), or cheat (not good), or leave him (not good).

Wow! No good news here.

excon