My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months and I'm seriously in love with her and she says the same about me.being with her is a joy and I feel lucky to have someone so special.up until 2 weeks ago I was the happiest man on earth we woke up early to go to work and I heard her go to my car she came back in an had tears in her eyes but wouldn't tell me what was wrong and left for work, half hour later she texts me and tells me she left a letter in my car which said she loves me truly and deeply and is really confused and she's thinking of going back to her ex I don't know why she would be thinking of such a thing he metally tortured her for 10 years up to the point where she had a nervous breakdown and was forced to move out and get her own place he didn't even treat her or take her out in those 10 years now he says he's a changed man and is promising her all these different things I've tried telling her the old saying a leopard never changes its spots and I've tried talking but she says she's probably in as much pain as I am. I've seen her once in 2 weeks and I get the occasional text and she won't answer the phone I'm so confused and heartbroken I need some advice what should I do to get my girl back?

As difficult as this sounds, it's something that she needs to get through herself.

What you can do on your part is to remind her that you really do love her and that you want to be with her. If she's not picking up the phone, try email, voicemail or text messages. Unfortunately, if she's not picking up, it means she wants to be left alone and you have to respect her wishes.

If she wanted you back, she would find a way to contact you. If you really want her back, then you're going to have to be patient. You can't force her to come back to you, she has to do it when she's ready.

I understand your heartbroken but if she 'truly and deeply' loved you, she would be with you not her ex.

If she was confused, she could sort her head out with you or on her own.

Keep in mind, this probably did not come out of the blue,people don't go from madly in love to confused about an ex in a few hours, the thoughts and feelings for them (ex) were there when she was with you.

They have history.. 10 years worth, you had 9 months. Not long enough to trust in the long term plans you talked about.

My advice is start healing, get busy in your own life.

If she decides to come back,think twice and then twice again, don't make it so easy,she left,she was confused.. dont go on blind trust.

There's nothing you can do. At this point, you give her the space, but remind her that you're there for her always, if she needs you. Don't get jealous, don't get upset, because she's having a difficult time as well. Try to be understanding.

Don't nag her about the ex, either. Just act as if things are natural. This way, she realizes that you're not threatened by this guy.

Act confident, yet sensitive. If she does decide to go back to him, then it's on her, sadly.

The 9 months together that was so great for you paled in comparison to what the ex told her. That he had changed! She waited a long time to hear that, probably heard it a million times before, but has to grasp at this current hope. You can't fight that my friend, you can only let her see yet again that this is but another heart break.

She has to do this on her own. And you have to let her.

Forgive me for being blunt or harsh, I know you are in great emotional turmoil, but be careful, if this fails she will need a safe place to heal. But be aware this is not love, and she cannot be a great partner that you deserve until all of this is flushed completely from her system, so she will be a poor choice for the long term for anyone she ends up with for quite sometime.

Don't know how long she had left this guy for, before she took up with you, but obviously it wasn't long enough for a proper healing, and chances are they have been in contact for quite sometimes before she made the decision she did.

Just be aware, of what your up against.