I've been dating this guy for a little over a year now. For a good majority of our relationship, he has made things extremely difficult for us. There were times when he would hang out with his ex, who became a huge stress factor in our relationship. He was still "in love with her" and I had to deal with it. I felt like I was on the back burner, but I still did everything in my power in hopes of gaining his sole adoration. There have been issues with other girls as well, and he would usually try to keep their interactions a secret, but I found myself SNOOPING like crazy through everything in his life to make sure he wasn't messing around. (I never did that before with any other boyfriend.) I would usually find something that broke my heart. He also got a DWI, so he can no longer drive, so I'm the one who drives us around everywhere. For the majority of the relationship, he didn't have a job either, so I was supporting him. He ruined Valentine's day and we were even broken up for my birthday... and I found out he was talking to some other girl on my birthday.
We somehow managed to work through things, and eventually I moved in with him, which lasted about a month. He began displaying over the top jealousy issues, and one night when I was talking to another guy about an art gallery, my boyfriend kicked me out. He had begged me to move in, and I left my family, who were very upset with me for leaving. So imagine how mind boggled they were when I came back home less than a month later.
I stopped talking to him completely after he kicked me out. I was beside myself. I have lived a majority of my youth as a very shy person, and broke out of my shell around age 17, therefore now I am super friendly and like to meet new people. He despises that. I can't even say hello to someone without him getting angry. He is a very introverted person.
We were broken up for around 2 months when he decided to beg for me back. During that time, I met a boatload of new friends, who were extremely kind to me and made me feel wonderful. I was not looking for a new relationship at all, just peace of mind.
For some reason, I decided to believe him when he said he "changed." I do believe that he felt bad about kicking me out, and all the other hardships he put me through, but he definitely didn't really "change," aside from maybe showing me more affection and (I think) dumping the idea of his ex.
We've been together again for 3 months now, and I find myself losing those burning feelings of love and drive of fighting for him. He wants to be together ALL THE TIME, every waking hour, he has no real friends outside of me. He also does not want me to hang out with any of the new friends I made while we were separated. Although he has not cheated, I have caught him "sneaking around," with texts and whatnot, but he says it won't happen again every time. He gets drunk when we argue and makes a fool out of himself, driving me crazy with his immature actions. I feel like a mother more than a girlfriend at times.
I don't even have the desire to drive to his house at this point. I love him, but I feel like a majority of these feelings have stemmed from me fighting for his love, and not actually enjoying it like a normal human being. No matter how many talks we have, he will never understand where I'm coming from. He just assumes I want to dump him so I can go "party" and meet "someone else," which is not true at all, although I miss my freedom. He also mentions committing suicide whenever I make it seem like I'm about to dump him. This is probably text book crazy with the jealousy, controlling attitudes... but I'm coming to you all in desperation of what I should do? Should I keep fighting for him? And if I should leave, how should I approach the situation? Many thanks.

PS: We have had a lot of great times together. It's extremely hard for the both of us to just be "friends." I love having him in my life, but I feel like it's mostly because I'm so used to having him around. It's mainly when he reverts back to his old ways is when we start to have issues. He knows he has problems and claims that he is working on them, and I'm not giving him enough time to change. (Even though it's been a year and 3 months.) I don't even know if I should believe in him or not anymore.

To summarize:
He is (or has been): Jealous, maybe cheating, not cutting off old relationship / lack of respect for your feelings / drinking.. .

You are: Not feeling the "love" anymore

I say, Let him go. I know it may seem harsh, but you have to move on. His "wanting to be together all the time" may be a sign that he knows your not interested anymore. You don't care, and that scares him. He seems like he may have control issues.

Assuming you are still fairly young (upper teens / lower 20's).. . Don't let this guy drag you into a "long term" struggle for "love".. . Cut him off, enjoy yourself and Mr. Right will show himself when the time is right (don't FORCE it).

Best of luck

In reading some of your older posts, I see that you are 19. It seems you are finding yourself - overcoming shyness, becoming outgoing and friendly, and making new friends. My concern is that your current boyfriend is holding you back in developing even further. He sounds controlling and manipulative. You mention he is jealous, drinks and argues, has a bad temper, and flirts with other girls. You may have some great times, but these things are also causing a lot of grief for you. Because of your insecurity with the relationship, you have acted in ways that are not your norm.

I think a good relationship should include honesty, respect, a sense of security, supporting each other's development and goals, and good communication. I don't read any of that in your posts. I think you can find a much healthier relationship than this. Sometimes it is hard to let go of someone we love(d), but it is for the best. You are young, have a lot to learn about yourself, and a lot of exploring to do. I don't see how you will do any of that with your current boyfriend. If I were you, I'd break it off now. Spend some time on your own doing the things you want to do. It sounds like you were doing well during the two month break and enjoying yourself. Don't let him manipulate you into staying. He'll find his own way. You don't have to help him.

As to how to approach the situation, be sure he is sober when you tell him. Be honest but don't drag it out. Be sure you have a place to go. Don't let him manipulate you into staying. Be strong - tell him you are leaving and leave right away. Don't try to remain friends with him. You both need time to think about what has happened and to figure out what you want to do. Remaining in touch will just confuse you both and will hurt more. A clean cut is the best. There are several stickies in this forum that can help you. Look at those about "no contact" for how to proceed.

The others have said it all, as your leaving, and being free to explore your world, is what you really seem to want, and you should get it.

Going back with him was a huge mistake in the first place, and put you where you are now.

Get a place to go, leave, and disappear from his life through NO CONTACT.

Read the stickies (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/).

Get rid of this fool... sorry to be so harsh.

If your relationship no longer supports your growth/makes u happiness then you really need to re-consider it. Keep the good memories and remember the lessons to ensure your growth in your next relationship...

I only read half of your post and can see you are clearly stunted and unhappy. Don't waste another xx years...

I know how you feel.. It's hard. Losing that flame is the death of a relationship as far as I'm concerned.. People will tell you that's a mature relationship and that's what happens. The love you have for each other simply changes. But I disagree. When the passion is gone its dangerous and I'm currently trying to decide whether to stay or go. But I can tell you anyone your with will probably be the same, it does just happen. Doesn't make it any more fun to deal with. Best of luck