View Full Version : I don't know what to do.
nalah
Jan 23, 2011, 04:16 AM
Threads merged
Okae so I've been with my boyfriend for about a month now, buh I don't like him as much as he likes me , I know its unfair for him because when I'm with him I pretend to be happy. Sometimes its real , but most times I pretend, I'm too scared that if I break up with him then I might want him back, the only reason I said yes to going out with him was because I had lost my virginaty to him, and that was big to me. Over the pass few days I've been thinknig a lot about us. And when I tell my sisters about him its mostly bad things, he doesn't treat me the way I want him to, I'm not to sure if I should tell him , but that's what sucks as well , the fact that I have to tell my boyfriend how I want to be treated and what I want. If you think I should tell him then please give me the words to say , or what you think is best for me to do.
Break up ? Or second chance ?
redhed35
Jan 23, 2011, 04:19 AM
You dontlike him as much as he likes you,yet you say he treats you badly.
Only you know how you feel when your with him, and if you think he would treat you better if you say something.
You don't say how old you are or how long you have been dating,if you could give that information it would help towards an answer to your post.
joypulv
Jan 23, 2011, 06:40 AM
It's very common to lose your virginity to someone who may not be right for you at all. When you are young and unsure of what you want and who you are, and it's changing as you grow anyway, relationships will usually change too. Please don't stay with a guy for that reason. He may sense that you don't love him and is mean partly because of that, so you aren't doing either one of you a favor by staying together. Tell him that he's going to be a wonderful guy for some lucky woman but that you just don't click, you just don't have the feelings.
nalah
Jan 23, 2011, 04:27 PM
Thank you , and were both 18 and we've been together for a little ova a month.
nalah
Jan 23, 2011, 06:08 PM
Uhhm he doesn't treat me bad , its that he doesn't show that he really want to be with me, I like the guy to show me effection and care for me all the time , but I don't think he does that kind of stuff. I guess I just have standards he can't meet ?
nalah
Jan 23, 2011, 06:09 PM
Okae thank you so much.. do you thik ill want him back if ido dump him ? Or should I just not evan worry about that ?
nalah
Jan 23, 2011, 06:21 PM
We've been together for a month and I'm scared that if I leave my boyfriend he will do something silly . We had an argument one time and I said that I was going home because I ddnt want to say anything that I might regret, he said to me "now you wanna leave me ? should i just hang myself" should I be worried if I do leave him ? I think that if I do tell him why I can't be with him then hopefully he will understand , I highly doubt he will hang himself though , but just to be sure.. what could I do ? Tell him I'm not happy and leave him but explain why ? Or...
]I just don't know what to do...
Wondergirl
Jan 23, 2011, 06:35 PM
No, don't worry. There would be lots of dead guys out there if they actually carried out their threat, which, by the way, is their effort to control.
I suggest you don't bother to explain. He won't buy it anyway and will just use it to keep you longer. Just say "I love you, but I can't be here right now."
Cat1864
Jan 23, 2011, 07:20 PM
Threads merged
I think that you need to slow down and really think about what you want. You have been dating him for approximately a month and have already given him your virginity and said that you don't like him as much as he likes you. A relationship should develop over time instead of rushed through as though it has an expiration date.
Do not allow yourself to be coerced into something because he makes threats of hurting himself. At the same time, be honest with him. If you can't communicate with him then you probably should move on.
Whatever you decide to do about the relationship, please take care of yourself. If you do stay in it, slow down and get to know each other. If you do leave, slow down and learn more about the male before you go father than holding hands.
joypulv
Jan 23, 2011, 07:59 PM
Suggesting that he might kill himself is manipulation and totally unfair. (If someone really means it you call an ambulance.)
Sooner or later, most of us have to be the one who isn't in love with the person who is in love with us, and vice versa. It's OK to tell him how you feel and work on the breakup over a few days, but don't drag it out, no matter how much he pleads, for both your sakes.
Fr_Chuck
Jan 23, 2011, 08:41 PM
This is a form of control and/or abuse. He will use that sort of threat to control your entire life and actions.
Leave him and send flowers if he does.
Either way dead or alive you are rid of him, and he is not going to control you.
You can of course contact the police and report that he has threatened to kill hisself to have them investigate if you wish,
nalah
Jan 23, 2011, 11:01 PM
Ooooh thank you so much this helps me the most..