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Keesha290
Jan 22, 2011, 11:52 PM
I've missed a period, had a couple of early pregnancy symptoms and am concerned I may be pregnant. I took a test that was negative, and I have no idea when a conception could have taken place, so my friend's warned me to wait a while and try again. We do hope its positive. That would be brilliant, but I am terrified me and my partner may still yet be trapped at my mothers when it is born.

My mother's violent, and my brain - damaged brother is violent with no concience. That is because he has spent years copying my mothers instability and because he only has the mental age of a 2-3 yr old in a 13yr olds body, he is very unpredictable. He hits our dogs as it is, no matter how much you tell him no, he just carries on hitting them and gets harder with each hit. Then he will suddenly turn loving towards them, next second... he's hitting them again! He even tries to throw the rottweiler across the room. He pushes, hits, kicks and bites everything all the time violently, even putting his own finger in his mouth and biting down on it so it bleeds when he's angry. He's killed most of my smaller pets in the past by throwing, kicking, squeezing or hitting. Then he laughs about it like its funny as they are in their death throes or squeeling in pain. One rabbit I had he kicked it in the face when he was 10 then laughed at it clapping his hands as blood poured from its face onto the grass and it kicked hopelessly. I was so upset. Mum encourages him to do it because she likes anything that makes me upset. He hurts me, my partner, our dogs, my dad and even sometimes turns on my mum.

A couple of years back my mums friend brought her 1yr old around and lewis unclipped and dragged it out of its pram and tried kicking it on the floor because he was being ignored. My mums friend, obviously horrified, snatched up her baby, had a huge row with my mum and then fled from the house. We never saw her again.

I carn't have a baby in a home like this. I don't know what to do, I've spoken to my partner about it and the fact is this house is far too dangerous for any young child. I don't think the council could help because while they have hostels for mothers and children, there isn't one in ellesmere port that I know of, and its not just me, its my partner and my two dogs. No way would my mum let them all stay if I wasn't there. My partners got no home himself so he and the dogs would be out on the street. And how on earth could I put it to the council anyway without them seeing it as a big joke, like they have the last few times we have been about domestic violence? Mum nearly broke my nose last week, I showed it them with my partner and all they said was " well, we can put you up in a hostel, but your partner won't be allowed and neither will the dogs". Yeh, big help that was. Is there a support group in the UK for this kind of thing?

DoulaLC
Jan 23, 2011, 07:59 AM
Normally I would suggest the first step would be determining whether you are pregnant, but in this situation I would suggest you locate alternative housing whether you are pregnant or not. I would also suggest you seriously look into getting help for your family. A starting place would be here:

Family Safety Units (http://www.cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk/community/community_safety/community_safety_team/domestic_abuse/family_safety_units.aspx)

If you are not receiving proper assistance from the council, go to the local councillor or the local ombudsman if necessary:

Local Government Ombudsman • Home (http://www.lgo.org.uk/)

I would also contact the RSPCA and get those pets removed from the home immediately. You can ring them anonymously.

Find friends to take them, find friends to take you in if you need to. What about other family or your partner's family? Even if you had to move out the area. If it comes down to it, as hard as it may be, you may have to give your dogs away so that you can find a place to live. Don't you owe them a safe environment? Perhaps it can be a temporary situation until you can find housing that will allow them.

As far as the possible pregnancy goes, see what happens when your next period would be due and test again if need be. You may have just skipped a cycle, but certainly if you feel you have additional pregnancy symptoms, you could see your gp for a test there.

Do return and let us know how you get on.

Fr_Chuck
Jan 23, 2011, 08:21 AM
Why the are you still in the house ? Running out and never to be in that house again, sounds like a good plan.

Keesha290
Jan 24, 2011, 08:17 AM
Lol, simple answer to that one = no where else to go.
I was thinking as an Idea if I could secretly video the general things that happen in our home.

Now social services have been involved for years, mums nice to them when they are here, then slags them off the moment they are gone.

I think the video idea would help if I showed it the council?

Keesha290
Jan 24, 2011, 08:21 AM
Our dogs aren't too hi risk as they are out all week with my partner at his work, he doesn't come home until lewis is in bed (thank god his boss doesn't mind!) and we try to keep them upstairs at weekends so they are out of the way. The only dog that really suffers is my mothers dog, which is always downstairs. We've already decided we will be calling the RSPCA to remove her when we leave.