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View Full Version : What do I have to do?


Wildycat666
Jan 22, 2011, 02:53 AM
Well, I'm in a very painful situation. I know this girl, that I love so much. We weren't on a relationship, but we were friends for 4months. But she says she doesn't think that we will ever be in a relationship... I said that she has to end it, and stop torturing me. Cause every day I love her more and it's painful to know, that we can only be friends. So yesterday I said to end it all, but she says that she can't because it's too cruel for her. I said that she has to, but she said that I have to do it. Then I thought, that if I did that I would be very sorry. I let few tears come off, and said that I can't. I don't really know if she likes me, but she appreciates talking with me, walking, being together etc. What can I do, I can't stop being friends, and we can't be in a relationship, but just being her friend is too painful. I'm forced to feel pain no matter what. Please tell me a solution, because I'm thinking about suicide ;/

talaniman
Jan 22, 2011, 07:43 AM
Your solution is not suicide, but to end the friendship until you can accept it without pain. That will take a lot of time, but it must be done. When the pain has left you, and it will,l you can explore other options, once you accept that she ain't feeling the same way you do.

Others may, if you let her go for a time, and get on with explore other things in your world. You sound young, and maybe this is the first experience with intense feelings of attraction for some one, but their will be many others, and they won't always lead to a relationship.

joypulv
Jan 22, 2011, 08:05 AM
Rubbing salt in your own wounds, day in and day out, is worse than the pain of staying away from her in every respect. PLEASE believe people who tell you this.
You can wallow in grief, and I am one who has done that when ditched, or you can do as other people I know have been able to force themselves to do: immerse yourself in a course, or hobby, or sport, or gym, or self help group of people also suffering from unrequited love. Start a group yourself, online or in an ad in the paper. (One person volunteered 5 nights a week, and soon met a nice woman... or you can volunteer for the good deed. How about an animal shelter?)

DoulaLC
Jan 22, 2011, 08:33 AM
Suicide is never an answer for pain you feel right now. Your life will be very different in three months, maybe even next week. You have known her for 4 months, put it in perspective. In the scheme of things it is a very, very short time in your life.

How many people have you known over the years that you are no longer in contact with? Haven't you gone on to make new friends, meet new acquaintances?

Some people cross our lives for a short time, often teaching us something we may use later on. You have learned some characteristics you would like to see in someone you build a relationship with. Part of getting to know different people is finding out what works and what doesn't work for you in a possible partner. This girl has many qualities you like, but one quality she doesn't have is the desire to be in a relationship, so she is not the right girl for you. Chances are you will have a few relationships that don't work out for one reason or another. That is part of getting to know people.

End the relationship... get busy with your life. Surround yourself with friends and family, focus on work or school, try something new.

You WILL feel better, you WILL move on, you WILL meet someone at some point who is ready and wants to be in a relationship with you.