I have filled out over 300 applications for work over the last 6 months, got a 2-3 letters saying sorry no work but that's it. What am I doing wrong? My savings is running out and I have never had a job so I can't file for unemployment. I'm getting to the point where my only option is to go out on the street and beg, what can I do? ( I also don't qualify for the military, first thing I tried. )

What type of employment are you looking for? What is your education, experience?

The economy is terrible where I am - Attorneys are working as legal secretaries. I see people with college educations working the counter at Burgerking. It's honest work, it brings in money, hopefully the economy will improve.

Are background checks holding you back? I notice from your other threads that you have a history of depression, wanting to commit suicide, other issues. Is that the specific problem you are having?

I don't have any mental health records that would show up in a background check, all my treatment has been with private psychiatrists and psychologists. Who knows maybe there is something, I was committed once but I was told after the 48 hour hold that no paper work would be filed, I bought a gun not to long ago so I don't think there is anything.

I am looking for anything at all, I have gone door to door to almost ever business in a 100 mile radius, some tell me to fill applications out on line, some say they aren't accepting any and some accept my application and resume on the spot. Like I said I can count almost 600 applications that I have filled out. I have applied to every single fast food restaurant there is.

I have no idea, it's very depressing, and everyone knows I don't handle depression very well.

On top of that I have even filled out a few dozen applications for volunteer and internship work without pay just to get some experience. I guess people realize I'm not worth their time.

Wow - your area must be even harder hit than mine. The only thing I can even begin to suggest is to keep on applying, and I know how cold those words are.

Have you tried a temp agency of some sort?

Have you looked into Welfare (or similar) benefits to see you through?

Do you have family you can rely on or a Church affiliation that might be able to lend assistance?

As far as the gun - don't do anything that your family will have to live with forever. Please, it's a terrible burden to them. If you are so depressed that you are considering suicide PLEASE seek counselling. PLEASE.

Sometimes volunteer organizations are harder to join than paid employment. I think everyone is afraid of being sued if a volunteer says one word out of line.

At any rate - perhaps, if you are depressed, some sort of half way house until you get on your feet?

(By the way, no one is worthless. Why don't you stick around here and add your words to other people who are depressed or feel worthless, who are posting? It certainly doesn't pay anything but it would fill up your time and give you some purpose.)

I am not considering suicide. And LOL on the gun thing, it's so messy I would never do that to myself there are a lot better ways to kill myself, which I would also not do.

Whenever I call the office of public assistance I just get the run around, I gave up on the last month. I was able to get food stamps but that's the only thing that seems to work in the whole system.

I have applied to temp agencies and I get some work every now and then but its like $200 a month.

My student loans keep growing, my savings is almost gone and I have $4000 left in credit card debt. I am really not trying to act like charity case but I am literally two months from being on the street.

I know. I can read your desperation. (Glad about the gun/suicide/that whole thing)

Let's see if someone else comes along while I ponder this...

*wooooosh*

Here I am, at your service!

Have you applied at any public libraries?

All government jobs, statewide are posted on the state website. So if any library jobs came up I applied for them. I get emails every day of new job postings on the state website and I apply for everyone that I qualify for. Every time I can think of a place I haven't applied to, I do.

The jobs posted on that state web site (for libraries) are for only professional positions. Libraries hire high schoolers, h.s. grads, college kids, and college grads who have no library experience. I worked in libraries for 30 years with no previous library experience or library education.

The employees at the front desk, the pages who shelve books, some of the children's department staff, and most tech service workers (who process materials for cataloging) are not professionals and would not have positions posted on a state web site.

Your best bet is to walk into a library and fill out an application. Also, watch local papers for ads, although in this tight job market, there may not be an open position posted publicly. A job seeker has to be proactive and even somewhat aggressive by going right to the front desk and ask for an app.

Which state do you live in (so I'll be able to tell you how the library systems work)?

Also, ask to be a volunteer at the library. That will get your foot in the door for positions that open up. A number of our library volunteers got hired as time went by and we saw how well they worked and coordinated with us.

Whoosh!~ Out of greenies but thank you.

Yea stopped by the library yesterday, but they are getting new carpet in so they are closed for a few days, thanks for the suggestion. However, a new development has come up, I have been selected to go to an interview with Washington State Patrol. I really don't know what they are going to ask me, but it's something I have been looking forward to for a very long time. I am really worried about my past history though, dropping out of school, getting committed and all that. Should I just forget it all together or what should I do to best prepare for the interview, or if I get past that, the psychological evaluation. It's something I've wanted to do my whole life, on one hand I want to tell them everything, on the other I don't want to get disqualified. Maybe I really think I would do a good job but I don't really know I don't want to be too selfish in my endeavor. This is one of the best opportunities that has ever happened to me, I don't want to say too much or too little. What do you guys think?

You have to tell the truth if for no other reason than a Police Agency can access any/all records and if you lie and are found out that will end the opportunity for you.

If you don't go to the interview you'll never know if you could have been hired.

I say you have to go. Downplay the bad; emphasize the good.

They obvously are interested enough in you to call you in for an interview and in this economy they have to have far more applicants than they have jobs.

(How are you getting past the educational requirements? You say you dropped out of school - )

Educational requirements only require a Diploma or GED for entry level candidates. I finished high school, I dropped out of college.

Oh, glad to hear that. I'd go for the interview. You present yourself well in the typed word. I've got to think you'd make a good impression, explain yourself well, in person. I'd say go for it.

(If you get hired and stop me for speeding, do I get to walk away? I didn't think so.)

Well I told them, everything and aparently any history of metal disease or defect automatically disqualifies me from the state troopers. I also tried to join the military today, same thing. Looks like I am going to be stuck doing dead end jobs the rest of my life, especially with the $30k of debt I have... oh well, student loans so bankruptcy is not an option. Kind of sucks, don't really know what to do now. Might go to skid row and become a hobo or something.

What degree(s) do you have?

I don't have any degree I dropped out of college, college cost me a lot of stress that I didn't know how to deal with at the time. That is the reason I am where I am, the stress lead to depression, the depression lead to more stress, which is when I wanted to die then I got picked up by the sheriffs office. Long story short I ****ed up the rest of my life.

No, things will work out. Let's keep this going and see what other options you have. You have so many good qualities and have learned so much because of the bad things that have existed in your life so far.

How much college did you actually have? What courses with what grades?

Two years, I took courses in microeconomics which I failed 3 times, Intelligence analysis writing and briefing, corporate security management, general courses in math, psychology, physics, and english. Some foreign affairs classes, military history, business management, humanities art and literature, language (persian), personality and profiling, and intro to law. I have 65 credit hours overall in the various subjects, my grades are mostly A and B I got one C and 2 Fs and one D. First year I had a 3.5gpa and second year I got about a 1.8 average my cumulative gpa was 2.6 or something like that. I can't look at my grades any more and I can't get a transcript because I still owe the school $4k. I really don't like saying I even went to school because I don't feel like I learned anything; a few things here and there but overall not as much as I should have.

May I ask in which state you live? (not anxiety, but a U.S. state)

Washington

Are you near public libraries? Would you walk in the door of one of them (check their web site to find out if they have a volunteer program) and ask about volunteering?

Here's a list of Washington public libraries --

Washington Public Libraries (http://www.publiclibraries.com/washington.htm)

Yea I can, but this isn't help the problem that I can't do the jobs that I really want to do. I volunteer at the library, OK... something to do, might get me a job somewhere, but then what I am working 9 to 5 the rest of my life doing ****ty jobs, that I have no desire to do, and it gets me no close to the jobs that I want. At least it's something.

But you know all these problems I am having isn't helping me to to trust people at all, I am tried of people looking down at me.

I'll head down there tomorrow and see what I can do.

Step by step... inch by inch...

What do you want to be/do regarding a career or some area of work?

If you play your cards right, in five years you could be the Head of Circulation (Main Desk Manager) at a public library and making $30K+ per year.

I really want to work in the government, law enforcement, military, federal agencies. I have put in paperwork to volunteer for several law enforcement agencies. Yea... but I ruined all that, such a shame. I could go back to school and learn engineering or something, but I can't get any more loans. The loans I have keep growing and working minimum wage it will take close to 6 years to pay off 30K, and that is saying I can afford to put $500 a month towards it.

Maybe it's best I don't get those jobs I do get depressed pretty easy, it is kind of a liability. I just don't want to get stuck as one of those guys that is a janitor for 30 years or something. I can't stand jobs where I have to do the same thing everyday and nothing changes, I want to do something where I have some responsibility. Too bad no one will ever trust me to do something like that.

If you play your cards right, in five years you could be the Head of Circulation (Main Desk Manager) at a public library and making $30K+ per year.

That is very depressing.

That is very depressing.
It's a step up. What are your dreams? In what career?

Being an airline pilot would be nice, nano scale engineering would be cool but both require schooling. Law enforcement is something I have always wanted to do, I should move on though. Wanted to do the nuclear program in the navy but that's ruined. Architecture is something I am interested in. Engineering in general would be interesting.

I will never be happy making $30k a year though, I would really like to do a lot of things that a $30k salary would never be able to support, needs to be at least 60K+, then I would be able to not worry about money anymore. That is probably something I should forget about too.

I think I just got a self destructive personality who knows I will probably never be happy.

How old are you?

I'm 21 almost 22. Oh and I am just being difficult, probably the depression talking or something.

A $30K job would only be a step on the way. It doesn't mean you are locked in that forever.

You are just a puppy! I was thinking you are in your 30s. What about going back to school? Loans are deferred while you're in school.

What about the depression? How are you dealing with that?

Then what... I got another 120K to throw on top of what I already owe, and I don't get a job... sounds like a really bad idea.

I also have to add I need a cosigner to get any more loans and my parents would never do that.

The depression?

I've been seeing therapists and stuff, I've taken several courses of different meds. The more I get help like that the more I ruin my life though. It's already cost me career in the military and law enforcement. I am the point where I realize that I am just going to have to live and deal with it.

But living with untreated depression won't get you anywhere. You become your own worst enemy.

I have already exhausted all my treatment options.

How is that possible?

Meds don't work and I've already talked about it over and over and over and over and over and over with no end in sight. I'm just tired of talking about it. What else is there to do?

It has already ruined the rest of my life I don't think there is anything that could make me not depressed.

Well, I've made suggestions that you shot down, and you have given up, so where does that leave us?

One of our experts named Jake2008 will be online soon (hopefully). She always has helpful and useful things to say and suggest.

What suggestions did I shoot down?

You didn't like my $30K job -- not good enough money.

I'll PM Jake2008 to read this thread and put in her two cents. I've got 20+ inches of snow headed my way in a blizzard, so my mind is cluttered with other stuff right now. Maybe Jake will come up with a fantastic idea.

I don't like it but I never shot it down, and I said I would go down the library tomorrow to volunteer, if I get a 30K job it won't ever be good enough but at least I am making money. It's OK though these types of misunderstandings always happen to me I'm used to it... maybe one day I will learn to communicate better, maybe not.

There you go again.

You've got to get your foot in the door somewhere. Might as well be at a library to begin with.

And I wish you wouldn't give up on the meds and counseling. I PMed Jake, so hope she helps us out.

I didn't give up on the med's the doctor took me off them, they had me on high doses with no effect, for instance I was on prozac for 8 months, started at 20mg and I was at the max dosage of 80mg with no effect before they started to take me off. I was at 80mg for almost two months.

Either way it really dosen't matter, even if I do get to the point where I am not depressed anymore, in the eyes of 90% of employers its - once depressed always depressed, they will never believe you and they see you as a liability. In the end it really defeats the whole purpose of getting better.

That's not true at all! Half of the staff at the library where I worked was on prescribed meds for mental problems, including depression. What shows strength is that you keep dealing with it, not lie down and die whispering "poor me."

Well to assume that I wallow in self pity is absurd. I never say "poor me", I only accept the reality of the situation. I am beating myself up as much as I can, there isn't much more you guys can expect from me. What you don't think I remind myself every day that I need to be a better person that I need to get out and do something and stop being lazy? You know everyone tries to telly you... don't blame yourself everything isn't your fault. Well everything that happens to you is in some way your fault. I could have avoided all of this if I would had been more responsible and take a little bit more caution in the way I present myself, all the stupid **** I do all the time could easily be avoided if I would take a little bit more time and patience. Every problem can either have been prevented or be prevented, problem was I wasn't smart enough or strong enough to do it and I know it. I wouldn't even be here if I tried a little bit harder to do better. I wouldn't be depressed if I handled my stress better. What do you want me to say and I will say it!

I ruined my life, I killed myself already. If you disagree why can't I get a job with law enforcement or the military, is there some sort of medication I can take to do that? Seriously what do you expect, I am not making excuses for myself, these are the cold hard facts.

You know what your right, I am laying down and whimpering "poor me". Guess it's the only thing I am good at any more. Sorry about the rant, thanks for showing me where I'm going wrong.

Well to assume that I wallow in self pity is absurd. I never say "poor me"
I didn't say you do. I don't want you to be back here in five years having this same conversation with someone. You're too good for that.

I only accept the reality of the situation.
I disagree. You are creating your own reality for job hunting. Take one step at a time.

I could have avoided all of this if I would had been more responsible and take a little bit more caution in the way I present myself, all the stupid **** I do all the time could easily be avoided if I would take a little bit more time and patience.
So don't do it again now.

I ruined my life, I killed myself already. If you disagree why can't I get a job with law enforcement or the military, is there some sort of medication I can take to do that? Seriously what do you expect, I am not making excuses for myself, these are the cold hard facts.
You haven't ruined your life yet. Your life has barely started. Let me know how things go at the library. Did you check its web site on the chart I gave you the link to to see if they take volunteers?

It doesn't say they do but it doesn't say they don't.

Well, check. Or if they don't have volunteers, offer to be their first one. Tell them how wonderful volunteers will make their library life. (Can you tell I started a fantastic volunteer corps and coordinated everyone for 16 years until I had to resign last year?)

I here people say that depressed people drain the energy of those around them, and they have a tendency to make other people depressed. Do I really want to bring that to a library?

Yes.

If you say so.

It'll work the other way -- you'll be emotionally uplifted.

I wish I had a $1 for every time a volunteer or court-ordered community service worker told me, "Wondergirl [not my real name], working here is the best thing I have ever done!"

I really hope so I am tired of hurting other people.

Just think of me walking beside you, and you'll be fine. I'll poke you if you act up.

I'm jumping in a little late here, but I too have some observations that may or may not be helpful.

The first thing you need to do is take control of your finances. I presume you are living on your own. You said you have savings that are running out, and that puts even more stress on you to keep going with finding a decent job.

If your loans are through a bank, speak to them (don't ignore them) about some sort of debt repayment with a reduction in interest. You are one of millions who are stuck with debt that needs to be restructured, and banks are generally agreeable- if you take the initiative. If your parents have co-signed for this debt, ask them to temporarily take over reduced payments for you until you get on your feet. Draw up some sort of contract with them. If you start this ball rolling, you will find a solution to manage the debt. Cut up the credit card and also request a repayment arrangement.

There are Debt counselling agencies, free. Find them, and they can assist you, as well as offer other resources.

Put your pride in your back pocket, and get back to the Welfare office. Again, there are millions in the same boat as you are, and accept that it will take time to process what you need to do, in order to have some immediate income, and hopefully longer term income, coming in to sustain yourself. Food stamps won't pay the rent.

Consider, if you are in an apartment, moving to a place where you can rent a room, or share an apartment with others to reduce the cost.

Is it possible for you to move back home, or in with a relative? Even temporarily?

All of the above is setting the groundwork. Without having a grip on food, shelter, and managing your debt, you will just continue to spiral down, and, without some security and control over basic needs, you won't feel much easing of pressure, in order to feel a little more positive about finding a job and a career.

With you having sent out over 300 resumes recently- have you followed up on these jobs. If you have received a letter from them telling you you were not successful, or if you haven't, always follow up. That shows them you finish what you start, and it also takes your resume from the bottom of the pile, and puts it on top of the pile. The person they hired may not work out, and if you took the time to enquire, that gives you an edge.

Start keeping written track of any and all applications. Dates, times, followups, phone numbers, contact people.

There could very well be something that is lacking in your actual resume itself. Consider seeking out, through community services, help with the preparation of a proper resume. These types of organizations also assist in better preparation training for interviews, and can point out helpful suggestions that you may not realize, could be holding you back.

What about trades. Have you considered that? Many, such as being a Lineman for example, hire young men like yourself as apprentices, and you learn while you work, and you get paid very well.

If you need experience to work toward working in law enforcement, why not try to find work with a security company. It too requires and involves training that would be something positive to add to your resume. These types of occupations involve shift work, and there is often a shift differential to increase the income.

Go to a private employment agency and register. With your new resume. They make money, if you are referred for a job, and get the job. Check out job banks, government sponsored re-training, new skills training, and subsidized trades, through local social service agencies.

Take the job at BurgerKing, and have some income coming in. Until you can establish yourself in training or trades, or another job, you will at least have money coming in to subsidize what you need.

More to follow in a separate post on the mental health issues.

IF you have been diagnosed with clinical depression, it almost always follows that the depression was caused by anxiety. When you are overwhelmed with a situation such as you are in, things build up, and take on a life of their own. It's almost like having a shadow following you around, and the shadow overtakes any light and hope coming in, because it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

If you think of that in a physical, causal way, and realize that depression is probably a good part of what is holding you back, it is time to assess again, your need for therapy, and/or medication.

While that seems a daunting task, it's kind of a which came first, the chicken or the egg. Does the depression cause the mindset you are in now, or was it caused by the continuous lack of successes in what you are trying to achieve. Or is it both, being depressed, and being affected by the depression, and that in turn is causing you to think you have no options.

Depression is one of those things we throw around, too many times, as a reason, for being where we are, and also the reason for why we aren't doing better.

Regardless of how and why depression has come into your life as a contributor to the situation you now find yourself in, it too has to be dealt with as much importance as putting food on the table every day. If you don't have food, you starve. If you don't deal with depression, you are locked in a place where nothing has meaning. It is a terrible waste.

It is hard not to get knocked down with all the rejection you have had. Nobody deals well with rejection. But, to be clinically depressed on top of it, not only makes your efforts that much harder to improve your life, but the rejection only contributes to being in a depressed state. Either by degree, or duration.

You mentioned Prozac. That is a drug that, as you know, takes time to work, with increased doseage after careful monitoring. That that particular drug did not work, means you have to try again, with a different drug. It is not uncommon to treat depression with three or four tries of different types of anti depressants, in order to find one that works.

I urge you to go again, and seek therapy and treatment for depression. It is what it is, and not doing it because a potential employer may discover that you have been depressed, and treated for depression, is cutting off your nose to spite your face. It is most likely of a situational type of situation, that will not see you on medication for the rest of your life.

I would be more inclined to note that information, that you took care of your depression, as a positive, rather than negative thing.

While it may prevent, by discrimination or ignorance, some opportunities, it will not hinder you in most employment opportunities.

So, which came first, the depression, or the situation you find yourself in now. And does it matter? If treatment controls the depression, do you think that your outlook, and success would turn into more positive experiences?

The only other thing I want to point out is, start with small steps, and work your way up. Have a plan, everyday, to take care of business, AND, take care of yourself. Force yourself to review the day prior, and plan for today, to accomplish something. Whether that be starting with a phone call to your Doctor, or a visit to the Welfare office. Set a schedule, and stick to it. Knock things off, one at a time.

Also schedule things that you may not particularly feel like doing, but that you know will help bolster your mood. Walk a half hour a day. 15 minutes out, 15 minutes back. Start a journal, and write out even a few lines a day, just enough so that you acknowledge what the day was like, and what you accomplished. Even if it was keeping an appointment, or scrubbing out the bathroom.

Acknowledge both failures, and successes, and realize that you will likely have equal measures of both. You will have days where you are full of energy, and days when you don't feel like getting out of bed. The latter does not dictate that ALL your days will be the same. The goals is to have fewer bad days, and more good days, even if that means accepting that things didn't work out with a particular goal or task, but that doesn't mean that the other accomplishments, such as a simple walk, or posting only one job application, weren't positive.

No excuses. You have work to do.