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View Full Version : What to say?


nalooel
Jan 14, 2007, 02:10 PM
Hmm, I am not sure if this is the correct section to be posting such a question but hey here goes.

I had been dating this girl for a while during the first semester of my sophomore year at college and things seemed to be going really well. Then things changed. Basically long story short some of her behaviour and what we discussed led me to believe that we wanted different things and so I ended it, thinking it was best.

It wasn't a messy break up or anything, we actually remained on good terms.

A few things however have recently have come to my attention when I have met her after the relationship ended that make me think perhaps we had misinterpreted each others signals, her behaviour being the result of certain insecurities that I evidently I didn't notice.

When we have bumped into each other socially there are still major sparks. I am 90% sure that both of us would want to get together again, but admittedly both of us are afraid to make the first move.

I would like if we meet again to talk to her about this, as it is definitely a situation that I would want to salvage as she is an amazing person. I am just a bit unsure as to how to approach the topic for a few reasons. Insecure or not her behaviour was rude, but I don't want to sound like I am berating her about things. At the same time I want to acknowledge that I was mistaken in what I thought and would like to try again but not in a "begging" manor if you know what I mean... any suggestions lol?

talaniman
Jan 14, 2007, 02:47 PM
Seems to me the way to go is just date and get to know each other and maybe clear up some of those mixed signals. Often people move to fast and get caught up not knowing their partner well enough to work a relationship. What could your hurry be, when you have the rest of your life so, do this thing right and find out about each other before taking that next confusing step. Go slow with out the pressure because actually you should be having fun and enjoying your youth.

chuff
Jan 14, 2007, 08:58 PM
Honestly I think you have to make the first move. I mean why would she? You are the one that ended it, so she isn't going to benefit from approaching you. I would just flat out ask her what caused some her behavior changes. But you could word it like this, "You know if I could do anything to help you I would, and I'm hoping you can help me. I noticed that sometimes your behavior would change and I'm wondering if there is something you think I could do different or change to grow as a person." That's still asking her honestly, your not lying but it also masks the question in a way because it takes some of the sting or fault off her so she might be willing to open up about it. I don't think that makes you look like your begging at all.