well, I don't know what to say really. Lets start by explaining the relationship. She and I had been together for about 3 years and 2 months ish. We broke up once because she feels like she didn't get to have that teenage wild stage. We ended up getting back together shortly after, about a day after.

Honestly, I know this sounds generic and stupid, but she's the one I want.. I know that. She say the same of me. Yet, she recently used the phrase "I just wish i werent in love" she wants to get all of this out of her system, I feel like its normal stuff, crushes etc that she just doesn't know not to act on. I completely feel like my feelings are the last things that get taken into consideration when she chooses to do something (clubbing, partying, etc). I decided to ask her to play a game of basketball since she loves the game with me after work one evening and I got an answer that felt like she didn't want to say yes because she wasn't sure what may come up for her to do during that time.

I'm not sure what to do of all this. As of now. I packed all my things, left the apt, and I am back at my house.. the lease is up in 3 months and I'm just going to stay here, even though its 25x the distance to school and work (literally). I don't know if I am being irrational but we takes about splitting yesterday, today I wasn't sure what we were... just knew it was complicated... after I get home from a guitar session at a friends house, I find out we actually are single. She gets a call from a friend, and bam... just like that, the same evening we are breaking up.. she's clubbing.. she never clubs unless we are having trouble.. its weird.. I hate clubbing just because I feel like its just a way for her to go rub a guys penis for a few hours without talking to him.

its upsetting because literally 3 years of my life has been all for this girl. I didn't do anything wrong, and even she says I am the absolute perfect guy. If I were perfect though.. why would there be anything wrong, She has her mentality and wants to have this moment for her and I understand that.. but someone so perfect just doesn't come along that often.. Everyone that knows the two of us is distraught at the thought that we are separated.. no one can believe it.. some people have even told me that if the two of us can't make it work, the rest of us are screwed. I'm rambling but I'm just reiterating the point that she was perfect.. how do I deal with all this.

we probably won't see each other or talk for a long. Long. Long. Time.. until after college maybe. But I'm too afraid that by then, I won't be able to deal with what is about to go on in her life. This stage is not one that is attractive to me in any way and is part of why I fell for her. Why can't I be that guy that can just win them over instead of giving her everything she ever wanted. I will say, there have been some trust issues due to some of her actions. She doesn't really understand why they are not appropriate for a relationship. It proved to get the best of her. She just hasn't had me treat her the way she has me I guess. It would make it hard to understand why it bothers me, if she has never experienced the worry.

She works in a restaurant, and had a fake boyfriend at work just for laughs.. it was OK cause he was Hispanic and couldn't speak English at all.. I told her it would go to far and she didn't believe me until her friends work boyfriend sent her valentines flowers etc. well, she still didn't think it was too risky, and decided to learn Spanish from him.. (remember, he doesn't speak English) and while I worked, shed go out to dinner with him and just hang out for 4-5 hours after they eat.. I know she wasn't screwing around because, she wouldn't, I know it and I trusted her. However she did develop a crush for the guy. She also developed a crush for a guy that she played basketball with a lot. Also a guy from work. She ended up kissing him once, but after felt bad, told me, and I got mad at her of course which was still extreme for me.. I too easy going to get mad easily.. upset, yes,. mad? no.. Well.. anyway.. that was when our little break happened, and we ended up getting back together after we went to a concert and I ended up making friends with the guy she kissed. It wasn't his fault, but hers. I see no reason being mad at someone who didn't commit their trustworthiness to me.

Anyway.. it was because it was just supposed to be a group of her friends, one of her friend stupidly asked him to be the DD.. right.. now I have to think about her being around him and being drunk... well I ended up going to the concert because I couldn't just sit back and let this happen. Anyway. She agreed not to talk to him anymore, and we got back together a couple days later. Then a few months go by and we are where we are today. And now... I'm clueless.. BTW.. check out the band "Mumford & Sons" they are fantastic, and some of their songs explain how I feel perfectly.. well. First time ever doing anything like this so I don't know how this will turn out.. thanks for the read. At least I vented =]

Paragraph breaks would have helped. :D

So what will happen when one or both of you go off to college?

We've been in college. We are both going to college her in Birmingham, she's a psychology major, and I Architecture. We have one class together this semester which is going to be difficult, and yes I agree some form of a break would have help

If its one thing I can understand its one partner who wants to do one thing, and the other not. That's a lot of doing things on their own while the other is sitting home sulking, and resenting. I have no doubt its more your attitude that colors your feelings because, whenever I hear how much someone does for another its an indication their expectations are not being met.

You want her to change and act more mature, and pay you attention instead of her going out, and grinding with strangers, attracting attention, and having crushes. Yes my friend you are full of resentment and they will fester and grow unless you stop seeing her as the one and bring some honest expressions of your feelings into this equation, so she knows full well what to expect from you and you both can establish some sort of boundaries and rules you can agree on.

After 3 years together the how to talk and listen may not be as developed as it should be and you may think she doesn't appreciate what you do enough, while she loves to do her thing. It's the honest communications that will either show that she is the one or not because if you are not working together for you both to be happy then why waste time?

Find a quiet moment and sit and talk so she knows all her crushes and grinding gets on your nerves and is no fun for you, even though you trust(?) her, which may not be enough and you expect more is all, and you can be specific in what you want. If you cannot do right by each other it won't matter if she is the one you want or not, because if you are not the one she wants for life, it won't matter what you want her to be or think she is

So talk and listen and get on the same page going forward. You can't get everything your way, and neither can she so compromise and work together. Build without tearing each other down, and support without dictating, or go your separate ways and be happy, without each other.