mystific
Jan 19, 2011, 07:12 PM
Ok, so I've been thinking about this for a while now. And no matter how 'out of the box' I try to consider it, I just don’t know.
I met a guy around the same age as myself 13 yrs ago (23 back then) while I was doing my big OE in the states. We've remained distant friends for all these years since, as he is in the US Army and a year or so after I met my ex. He just recently got re-deployed to Iraq and got back in contact with me. Course of events are such that after me telling him I am no longer with my ex he was pretty excited and suggested that when he's finished his deployment we should get together. This is in October. Getting carried away with the whole conversation I was like "sure that sounds great".
He gets out for his first R&R next month and suggested coming to visit me. But I declined that as much as it would be fun, I'm not prepared for him to meet my daughter and although it's been 4 months since my breakup and feeling perfectly fine, I'm not sure how 'ready' I am.
He was most obliging and said he would wait. He's never married, doesn't have a girlfriend as he 'wouldn’t do that to anyone while he was serving'. So, why am I apprehensive?
I keep remembering what he was like when we first met. If there was a check box of Yes's to fill, he did, with ease. But I know what he does and I understand how it changes people. I don’t understand the psyche of some people and how events can dramatically change their ways. I have this overwhelming thought that he'd wake up in the middle of the night forget where he was and I'd become the next number. I just don’t know how to approach it. I've thought of doing it in a joking way but really even for me that’s a stretch.
I'm probably over analyzing it all especially so early in the peace. I feel very split, because if it’s not something I'm comfortable with I won't do it, but then it's something he is really looking forward to, and a part of me wants him to keep feeling positive about something so he’s got something to stay alive for. If you understand what I mean.
I guess for me it’s the unknowing and although it’s like anyone you meet there is the same element of cautiousness, this is one where I really feel I need to be aware? … so thoughts/opinions as usual would be most grateful :)
I met a guy around the same age as myself 13 yrs ago (23 back then) while I was doing my big OE in the states. We've remained distant friends for all these years since, as he is in the US Army and a year or so after I met my ex. He just recently got re-deployed to Iraq and got back in contact with me. Course of events are such that after me telling him I am no longer with my ex he was pretty excited and suggested that when he's finished his deployment we should get together. This is in October. Getting carried away with the whole conversation I was like "sure that sounds great".
He gets out for his first R&R next month and suggested coming to visit me. But I declined that as much as it would be fun, I'm not prepared for him to meet my daughter and although it's been 4 months since my breakup and feeling perfectly fine, I'm not sure how 'ready' I am.
He was most obliging and said he would wait. He's never married, doesn't have a girlfriend as he 'wouldn’t do that to anyone while he was serving'. So, why am I apprehensive?
I keep remembering what he was like when we first met. If there was a check box of Yes's to fill, he did, with ease. But I know what he does and I understand how it changes people. I don’t understand the psyche of some people and how events can dramatically change their ways. I have this overwhelming thought that he'd wake up in the middle of the night forget where he was and I'd become the next number. I just don’t know how to approach it. I've thought of doing it in a joking way but really even for me that’s a stretch.
I'm probably over analyzing it all especially so early in the peace. I feel very split, because if it’s not something I'm comfortable with I won't do it, but then it's something he is really looking forward to, and a part of me wants him to keep feeling positive about something so he’s got something to stay alive for. If you understand what I mean.
I guess for me it’s the unknowing and although it’s like anyone you meet there is the same element of cautiousness, this is one where I really feel I need to be aware? … so thoughts/opinions as usual would be most grateful :)