OK, so I'm 17 now. I know that's really young to be concerned with romantic issues but I feel like I need some external guidance. When I was 15 I entered into a relationship with a girl I hardly knew. She was 2 years my elder, and it was my very first relationship. I had every first experience there is to have with this girl.

It's several years later and she's nothing but a story to me now, but our relationship was extremely unhealthy. We would meet up each day in school, and after we would walk back to my house, hang out, make love etc. Every day. Every single day, I saw this girl. A day or more was like an eternity. At first, we both did it because of the whole new love feeling. But then I guess I can say it turned into a familiar habit. And the things they say about keeping your distance are 100% true. We fought constantly. We never did the million different break ups but it got close a few times in the 1yr and 4 months we dated.

Now seeing as this was my first relationship, even though I can consciously understand that it isn't right, or healthy to be around the same person THAT often, I find myself having trouble breaking this pattern.

I am now currently "courting"(if you will) a lovely young girl. She's never been in a serious minded, committed relationship before. (I know you can't really call a high school relationship serious minded, but just go with me OK? Lol) And with my ONLY experience being with my ex, I'm subconsciously caught in a rut. I want to make this one healthier, stronger, and less obsessive. I do have a tendency to become obsessed with mild things ranging from food, to music etc.

So it isn't just in the relationships category. Im without contact right now of her, and I feel like I'm dying. All I can think about is her. And maybe right now is OK for that, but I cannot keep this up and maintain a normal, reasonable relationship. Could you help me please? I really like her and don't want to mess this up.

You won't have to mess up if you stay in control of yourself, and work on the issues that make you get so carried away that you might act impulsively. If you cannot relax and have fun, then you are not ready for a relationship. If you want a healthy relationship, you at least have to be healthy from the beginning.

Its so easy to get latched, and attached to someone very quickly, and that's usually an indication of having nothing else that you look forward to, so start by getting busy with friends, and activities that balance your life, and maybe you won't be so focused in an unhealthy way on this inexperienced female.

Plus having other interest that make you happy, will give you something good to share. Its easy to relax, and have fun when you are happy, and not worried about losing some one.

Wanting to be with each other all the time is a good thing, but it is important for several reasons to keep some space. First of all, when you keep some space the fun and 'newness' lasts longer, and let's face it... that's the best part. Plus you don't want to accidentally creep her out with too much attention. Secondly, it's important to still make time for your friends so that if things go wrong with this girl, you still have people to turn to. 17 isn't all that young, I mean yeah you may not be ready to go have children, a dog, your own home, and a white picket fence, but you're allowed to feel the way that you do. Everyone has 'baggage' but try not to let that define you. Most people date several people before they find 'the one' so we all have baggage. Good luck with everything, you seem like a nice guy with a good head on your shoulders.