bradb26
Jan 14, 2007, 08:55 AM
I can't seem to get the right bit of advice. Someone help me out here! For the first 10 months of our relationship, my girlfriend and I spent nearly every second together, with only a handful of little picky fights. Nothing big though. I realize that this was a mistake because we had only been friends about a month prior to dating. We ended up living together after only dating for about 3 months. Well after 10 months of absolute bliss, we were separated (we are both military... she was sent to Iraq, and I was sent to Tampa). This is when things took a serious decline. My biggest mistake was that I couldn't leave her alone. I was constantly wanting to talk to her several times a day, constantly emailing her, and things like that. I basically smothered her. And by the time I realized what I was doing and backed off, the damage had been done and it was too late. She had already put up a "wall", and wouldn't talk to me. We were engaged when we separated. Well after 3 months of bickering, we are now to the point that the wedding got called off, we aren't going to live together when she gets back, and we aren't even a couple anymore. We still communicate at this point, but right now we are more of friends. What sucks is that I still love her more than anything in the world. She is definitely my first true love. So what she has asked of me is to give her space and when she gets home we will have to rebuild the friendship first, then MAYBE begin dating again. The biggest reason she said she wants to do this is to focus on HER future, and career, and how to get where she wants to be in life. And when I asked her if she saw me in her future with her, she said at this point, she doesn't know. For the past 2 months, she has been basically messing with my head. One day, she'll tell me "I miss you so much, and can't wait to marry you, see you, etc". Then 3 days later, it'll be; "I don't know what I want, or if I want to be with you anymore". Then 3 days after that its, "I miss you again....". I know she's in Iraq and all, but if you truly love someone, shouldn't the answer be easy?
So my question is; Do I sit back, maintain the friendship (although it will hurt like hell seeing her go out with other guys) and hope for the best? Or do I cut my losses, and move on? My feelings for her are still extremely strong, even after all we have been through. I just don't know what to do anymore. Any advice is better than none...
So my question is; Do I sit back, maintain the friendship (although it will hurt like hell seeing her go out with other guys) and hope for the best? Or do I cut my losses, and move on? My feelings for her are still extremely strong, even after all we have been through. I just don't know what to do anymore. Any advice is better than none...