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joanne15
Jan 17, 2011, 06:29 PM
Everything in my life is getting too much, I live with my cousin and her boyfriend has been sexualy abusing me for the past 3 years I'm 15. I've spoke with a helpline and its just made it all worse they say they have a duty of care and now they are going to report it to chid protection so much for being private I thought they would help not make it worse I don't want to deal with this and I feel like the only way is to kill myself then its over I'm just scared and I don't want to hurt my parent its complicated

Fr_Chuck
Jan 17, 2011, 07:53 PM
You are being sexually abused, first does your cousin know ?

Where are your parents and why are you not living with them ?

Who has legal custody of you ?

But yes, you report him and have him arrested, he is a criminal and needs to be dealt with.

You need to also get out of that situation, move back to a parent, other family member or even CPS.

Things are not "over your head" but things need to be dealt with. We are most likely going to suggest things that you will have excuses not, but sometimes the best thngs to do are not the easiest

joanne15
Jan 17, 2011, 08:46 PM
My cousin doesn't know, my parents travel I stayed to finish school, I don't want to brak up there family because of me I would leave but I have no where to go I just want to get out but I don't want people to know what he does to me

Fr_Chuck
Jan 17, 2011, 08:50 PM
No, it is not breaking up their family because of YOU, he has to convinced you are to blame somehow.

To me, how can you be a friend and care for your cousin and let her be with someone like that. He is the one that is doing it, and he is the one who has already destroyed their relationship. There is no telling who else he may be doing something with.

Again, tell your cousin, report him and do what has to be done. It is not YOU doing this, it is the cousins friend, and he has already betrayed your cousin,

So you want your cousin to be stuck with a creep like that,
If you had known he had two other girlfriends, would you not have wanted to tell and warn her ? To protect her ?

joanne15
Jan 17, 2011, 08:59 PM
I care for my cousin that's why I haven't said anything if I told her she would be a wreak and probably blame me I know what you are saying but honestly its not that easy everyone would be better of if I wasn't here I'm just a coward and can't do it

joanne15
Jan 17, 2011, 09:16 PM
I know I don't want to end mylife I know that I just feel like it would be te easiest solution for everyone have you ever be abused? Do you know what it feels like its very scary to be threatened and be in fear of your life

Hadoken1337
Feb 1, 2011, 11:48 PM
Tell her. She'll drop her boyfriend and see it as him cheating on her. It'll devastate her but both of you will be in a better situation. Won't be too bad.

Unknown008
Feb 2, 2011, 12:51 PM
You don't have to be ashamed, this 'friend' (or fiend would be a better word) of your cousin is only abusing of YOUR fear to be able to exploit YOU more. You were being forced, I assume he's bigger than you and you are in no circumstances to be blamed.

He's the one to be blamed for abusing a relative of her friend and should be judged accordingly.

As Fr_Chuck said, would you like your cousin be with such a person for her life? Don't you want to protect her? You are saving your family by reporting him.

bigkick217kd
Feb 3, 2011, 02:34 AM
Hey yo, so I'm 16 and hate/hated life. Wrote today a effect of my suicide list; on my family, friends, etc. Then I went online and read how worse off everyone is than me, I relate with a lot of people I have read about. I don't/didnt want to live, yet I don't want to die. You don't want to tell others about being sexually abused cuse that's how people will see you and make you different I'm guessing but it won't or can not be as public as you think. Something similar but not to that degree happened in 8th grade I wanted to move away yet couldn't; this is a cliché but time heals all wounds so you best get started now. You can have him aressted or get proof and just show your cousin and run away with her. If you don't know how to talk to her about it just ask her this "if (blah bla blah) was cheating on you, would you want me to tell you" she'll say yes, then you explain the reasons you kept this from her then say it's you he has been cheating with. Life sucks bro, yet no matter how bad it hrs or time it takes it will be better, all evens out.

bigkick217kd
Feb 3, 2011, 02:58 AM
This is horrible yet it mist be delt with, it's not heathly for you mentally and physically. Don't let him win, don't continue this, it's been three years end it now. He's bigger and stronger yet he's nothing compared to cops. After he's gone and if your cousin blames you ask her how is this your fault, haven't you've been through enough as it is, he hurt and is going to continue hurting you and your cousin until you call the cops.

ITstudent2006
Feb 3, 2011, 07:07 AM
This has NOTHING to do with cheating, being unfaithful, or being a bad boyfriend in a commitment aspect. This is about sexual abuse & neglect (if your cousin knows).

As a family member she should drop his a$$ immediately when you tell her. You need to tell her and go to the authorities as soon as possible. Don't tell me I don't know how abuse works either, I have been in far worse situations than most so I have a pretty damn good idea what you're going through.

What will ending your life do? If it's not you, the boyfriend will find someone else. End this NOW! You have the opportunity to put this scumbag away and prevent him from hurting others like you anymore.

I only wish I knew you because I would love to meet up with this "boyfriend"... arrghh