View Full Version : We agreed no child support.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 07:47 AM
During our divorce and even in our amendment of custody we decided no child support how can I change it so I can now get support?
JudyKayTee
Jan 17, 2011, 07:49 AM
Go to Court and file a Petition to modify the previous agreement.
Was something else agreed to in exchange for child support such as a lump sum, something else?
And the State is important. I'm a little curious because in many States you cannot waive child support no matter what the circumstances are. It's ordered but then the parties agree not to pay/accept the payments - off the record.
If you want a modification you will have to show substantially changed circumstances.
excon
Jan 17, 2011, 07:50 AM
Hello t:
Go to court. You'll win. Your previous agreement isn't legal.
excon
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 09:58 AM
at first we had joint and equal custody. Then she decided to move away and I didn't want anything from her so I still left the no child support. I have full custody and she has visitation. This modification was done in 2008. She lives 1000 miles away and comes once a month to see our son. She pays for her travel cost. She pays for half of his school school clothes, school expenses and half of his extra curricular things. There is no change in circumstances, I am re married and make like 5x more than her. I just want her to pay child support.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 09:59 AM
We are in Texas.
JudyKayTee
Jan 17, 2011, 10:02 AM
"I just want her to pay" is not going to persuade the Court. If she pays half of the expenses you have mentioned she IS paying child support.
Here is the form Texas uses. Punch in the numbers and see what each of you would owe. Texas Child Support Calculator - AllLaw.com (http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/texas/)
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 10:03 AM
We live in Texas and during our divorce and even in 2008 we agreed to no child support and it is in the court orders. At first we had joint and equal custody. Then she decided to move away and I didn't want anything from her so I still left the no child support. I have full custody and she has visitation. This modification was done in 2008. She lives 1000 miles away and comes once a month to see our son. She pays for her travel cost. She pays for half of his school school clothes, school expenses and half of his extra curricular things. There is no change in circumstances, I am re married and make like 5x more than her. I just want her to pay child support.
ballengerb1
Jan 17, 2011, 10:07 AM
She is already paying more than required by the courts. You make 5x as much as her. Why would the courts change the terms of your divorce now? Tell us your logic because the only way this could happen is if you can convince the courts too.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 10:11 AM
In our custody papers it says she gets once a month visitation her choice and needs to let me know at least 14 days ahead of time. Can she give me the dates for the next 4 months and I have to agree? And if she had Christmas Vacation and it ended on Jan second can I say that was her month for December.
Also if our papers says she can communicate with our son at least once a week through phone or email. Can I tell her email our son instead of call if I pay the phone bill?
ballengerb1
Jan 17, 2011, 10:17 AM
No you don't get to pick how she communicates with him. She can call, e-mail, text,.
Fr_Chuck
Jan 17, 2011, 10:20 AM
First the no child support ( really surprised any judge would even rule on it, but I assume it was only because of the 50/50 split of custody.
But yes, you file a motoin to admend the child support and custody agreement
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 10:24 AM
I'm curious as to why you are so eager to control every aspect of her share of custody -- money, communications, travel.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 10:29 AM
Because I have full custody she just has visitation. She is the one that decided to move. Why should I plan my life around her, she should have to plan her life around me. And I pay the phone bill, why should I pay for her to talk to my son.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 10:31 AM
And I pay the phone bill, why should I pay for her to talk to my son.
You pay for collect calls from her, or pay for her cell phone? I don't understand how you pay "the phone bill."
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 10:33 AM
I pay my cell phone bill from which she text me and ask me if my son can call and then he calls her on Sunday nights. Its my minutes that are used.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 10:40 AM
I pay my cell phone bill from which she text me and ask me if my son can call and then he calls her on Sunday nights. Its my minutes that are used.
She has to get your permission? So wasn't that your requirement that you should then pay for the minutes?
Sunday night is the usual call time?
nlig0123
Jan 17, 2011, 10:43 AM
Dude, you are just being a d***. No judge would rule in favor of you. Besides, if she really pays what you say she does then in the end she's actually paying more then what child support would call for. If you make as much as you say you do (which I really doubt because then you'd just ask your lawyer who you could easily afford this stupid question about changing your child support ruling) then you must be a smart guy, do the math. Your making out in the end.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 10:43 AM
Yes Sunday is when she texts me and then I let my son call.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 10:46 AM
I make about 40,000 she makes maybe 13000. I am married and my wife has a job.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 10:52 AM
Yes Sunday is when she texts me and then I let my son call.
He's her son too.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 10:56 AM
She just gave birth. A mother is someone who is there for there son.
nlig0123
Jan 17, 2011, 10:56 AM
Oh, so your "I make 5x more then her" actually includes your wife's income then? And on 13k a year that woman can still manage to pay half of everything for her child and still manages to see him once a month? Dude, like I said your just being a d***. I get it she's an ex for a reason but using your child as a means to seek revenge, or whatever your calling it, against her is vile at best. Your custody agreement already benefits you. Let it be.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 10:57 AM
I have full custody I am the one who is running the show and make all decisions with my son.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 11:00 AM
No that is just my pay, I'm not including my wife's income.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 11:01 AM
Her income has nothing to do with this. And his mom or whatever you want to call her drives 1000 miles here and back once a month to see him.
nlig0123
Jan 17, 2011, 11:04 AM
And like I said, you already have an agreement that fully benefits you. And your getting more from her then you would get from child support because of her low income. You can pursue getting child support if you want, but everything else she pays for ends. But the only way to figure that out is to do the math yourself. You were already given the calculator by someone else. Punch in the numbers and see for yourself.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 11:07 AM
She just gave birth. A mother is someone who is there for there son.
It sounds like she wants to be there -- traveling 1000 miles to see him once a month and paying for half of what you tell her has been purchased (you are the one making the purchases and billing her, I presume -- do you give her receipt copies?).
Just out of curiosity, why does she live 1000 miles away? Did she move, or did you?
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 11:18 AM
I usually buy and show her the receipts and she pays half. But this year she decided to buy some clothes for my son and my wife didn't agree with the clothes she bought, so that will not happen again.
She is the one who moved. All of our family lives here and she said she did not won't to pull my son away from everything he has every thing he ever knew. That is why I have full custody and she has visitation.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 11:21 AM
I usually buy and show her the receipts and she pays half. But this year she decided to buy some clothes for my son and my wife didn't agree with the clothes she bought, so that will not happen again.
And you refunded her the money she had spent?
She is the one who moved.
Why?
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 11:26 AM
No then she just paid the difference of what I spent since it was more. But the clothes she bought was from the stores we buy from.
Her new man is there.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 11:28 AM
How old is this child?
If she bought clothes from a store you shop at, why were the clothes rejected by your wife?
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 11:30 AM
He is fixing to be 9 and I'm sorry she did not buy from the stores we buy from that is why my wife rejected them.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 11:33 AM
What was wrong with the clothes she had bought?
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 11:37 AM
Just not what we would buy.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 11:39 AM
You're very angry with her, aren't you.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 11:50 AM
She is the one that left and moved. I have another wife,
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 11:54 AM
Comment on Wondergirl's post
She is the one that left and moved. I have another wife,
You married before she moved.
Another wife? You are married to both women?
How long ago did the boy's mother move?
Fr_Chuck
Jan 17, 2011, 01:33 PM
Full custody does not mean you "run the show" you have a very wrong idea of what custody is, first there is legal custody and then there is physcial custody, And the mom can ask for things different if she wants.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 01:46 PM
No we were divorced in August 2007 and me and my current wife got married in oct of 2009. She moved in August of 2009.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 01:48 PM
I am the sole conservator of my son. She only has visitation.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 02:24 PM
Comment on Wondergirl's post
No we were divorced in august 2007 and me and my current wife got married in oct of 2009. She moved in August of 2009.
So, you found a "new woman" before she got her "new man" 1000 miles away?
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 02:26 PM
Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
I am the sole conservator of my son. She only has visitation.
But she is the child's mother.
Was she a bad mother, that you are punishing her now?
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 02:29 PM
Me and my current wife were seeing each other in early 2008.
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 02:31 PM
No she was not a bad mother when we were together. Even when she lived here she was wasn't a bad mother. But she moved away, my current wife is the mother now.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 02:33 PM
Comment on Wondergirl's post
But she moved away, my current wife is the mother now.
She will always be the boy's mother. No one can replace her.
So you are punishing her for moving away?
What happens if she doesn't drive 1000 miles every month to see him? Will you legally block her from ever seeing her son again?
cdad
Jan 17, 2011, 02:36 PM
Comment on Wondergirl's post
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No she was not a bad mother when we were together. Even when she lived here she was wasn't a bad mother. But she moved away, my current wife is the mother now.
Ive been resisting adding to this thread. Instead watching where its been going. But this is the last of it. This comment if taken into court is enough to have the child taken away from you. You are knowingly and willingly particpating in parental alienation. That is very very serious. You need to seek help for this and be glad the noncustodial parent actually wants to be involved at whatever level they are comfortable with.
This type of behavior needs to stop NOW!!
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 02:56 PM
How am I participating in parental alienation? She is the one who moved away by her choice. She is the one who choose her man over her son. She is the one who alienated herself. Why can't she just fade out of his life.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 03:13 PM
Why doesn't she have custody?
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 03:20 PM
Because she chose to move to a different state to be closer to her man.
cdad
Jan 17, 2011, 03:21 PM
Comment on califdadof3's post
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How am I participating in parental alienation? She is the one who moved away by her choice. She is the one who choose her man over her son. She is the one who alienated herself. Why can't she just fade out of his life.
She can. But that's HER choice. I see you knitpicking and complaining about nothing and not looking at what's best for your child. Instead trying to drive a wedge that may keep her away. Lets get real here.
Most cellphone companies have free nights and weekends. Yet you dare complain about it costing you. From your own admission she is doing her best to keep up with the bills. And still managing the 1000 miles monthly. That's a lot of gas and wear and tear. Its HER choice not yours. You want to drive that wedge as deep as you can and its going to split your child away from you completely.
Just look around at all the problems many couples have after separation or divorce. You you choose to complain. Take it before a judge. Let them decide. But with this attitude you could lose your child and at best be the one facing that 1000 mile trip. Where will you stand then??
Stop being so pigheaded and stop letting your current wife run the situation. Get real and start taking responsibility for your child that you share with her and start focusing on the child. If your wife doent like that then kick her to the curb as she is no parent of any kind.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 03:23 PM
And that says she's not a "real" mother and allows you to treat her the way you are.
She had custody before she moved out of state?
tl0127
Jan 17, 2011, 03:26 PM
We had joint and equal custody, she had him 2 weeks and I had him 2 weeks.
How can I loose my child? She is the one who chose to move?
She is not a real mother, she just gave birth and then left him.
She moved a year and a half ago, he was 71/2
I am sole managing conservator over my son.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 03:39 PM
You will reap huge rewards if you make sure your son knows and remains attached to his real mother, if you speak well of her, if you don't financially abuse her. Otherwise, your bad behavior will someday come back to bite you.
Wondergirl
Jan 17, 2011, 03:41 PM
Comment on Wondergirl's post
She is not a real mother, she just gave birth and then left him.
When did you get full custody of him? How many years did she have him in her life before she moved?
JudyKayTee
Jan 17, 2011, 05:24 PM
Conservatorship?
Fr_Chuck
Jan 17, 2011, 08:13 PM
I have a hard to moderating this thread, the OP keeps using the comment feature ( which is made more for an "I agree or disagree" not to add to the thread, and by not actually using the Answer the question buttom, so I have little choice but to delete his posts if there is slight editing needed.
tl0127
Jan 18, 2011, 04:36 AM
I did not know there was a right or wrong way to do this. I thought that I was answering the persons question that asked.
So to answer the question on Conservator. I am sole managing conservator over my son.
Fr_Chuck
Jan 18, 2011, 05:50 PM
Very funny, the person claiming to be the mom is using the same computer and I P address
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/help-sons-dad-trying-turn-him-against-me-545326.html
Before I close all of this, and ban the two posters, I need a answer and need it soon.
One person claims to be father,
One person claims to be mother
Both are not telling the same story,
Both are coming from the same computer at the same IP address.
So what do we have someone making fools of us ?
tl0127
Jan 18, 2011, 05:53 PM
Just trying to get both sides of the story getting information from both sides of the situation is that wrong. I'm concerned for my son.
Fr_Chuck
Jan 18, 2011, 06:08 PM
So we don't know if you are really the mom or dad, you come here acting as a jerk wasting our time,
These threads are closed.