My wife and I just received some money. Not a lot but a decent amount. She is spending about a 9,000 on a boob job and nose job even though she is extremely beautiful already. I am supportive even though its close to a third of what we got. I am not buying myself a big thing because I don't want to use it up. But I did want to take the kids and her to Disney Land for a week.

We have been struggling for years and I think it would be great for us. The problem is, my wife just grabbed her phone and the keys and stormed out of the house at 1 in the morning after arguing with me about booking an extra night in Disney and costing us a couple hundred extra because I said I wanted to be there long enough to really have a fulfilling time and get to do everything while also being able to relax.

I don't know where she is going but she has lied in the past and spent time with other men before we were married but while we lived together. She has lied about smaller things recently and sometimes I feel she is hiding bigger things. She says she is just going for a ride and left me standing in the driveway literally shaking, feeling scared of betrayal and hurt because she was so incredibly nasty... all I wanted was to have a perfect trip. She has lied so many times it brought back my fears when she reacted so hard and left. I feel like she really deep down only cares about herself.

Anyway, she is trying to shorten the trip, and cut corners on expenses to save money saying we don't need to buy park tickets for every day there that we can hang at the pool, and we should stay less days because its 200 per night, and she will be sick of being there and ready to go, and accused me of being "extravagant" wanting to stay another night. It took me 2 weeks just to get her to sit down and plan this trip with me, and I suggested listening to music and planning it together without the TV on but she wanted to watch TV while doing it and barely paid attention it felt like, plus she got money and set up a 9k surgery in a matter of 11 days! As fast as she could with or without my consent even though its our money.

I feel like she is empty and careless about our relationship. How can she not see that she spent 9k and Im spending 2k to do something for our family when she hadn't even thought to do something for the family or for me and she is calling me extravagant? I even asked if I could get her the surgery as a gift. I finally got upset and pointed out that she is spending 9,000 on herself and is worried about me spending an extra few hundred at the most and how one way and selfish she is. She got so mad and accused me of not supporting her and stormed out saying Im the a**hole for bringing up her surgery. I want her to care more about the family and be less self centered. Not to mention I have no idea where she went and she knows how that makes me feel because she broke my trust with lies and deceit literally over 20 times closer to 50+. I may be foolish for staying but she convinced me she was messed up and not ready to be in an honest relationship or let go of her rich male safety nets. Yes, plural.

We now have a baby and are married and supposedly she hasn't seen anyone in years but where does she go that she needs her prepaid phone this late or needs to drive to? That aside, am I crazy to be hurt and angry and to feel like she would chisel down our familys vacation to save 200 bucks even though she is spending soooo much on surgery? Originally she was just doing her boobs, then asked me to support her to spend 3k more for her nose. I said OK, but I know she would have done it without my support because the money is in her account in her name.

I asked her to support me in spending 2-300 more for another day in disney and Im being extravagant and frivolous and she said she wants nothing to do with helping me plan the trip and stormed out. I have a daughter with her but she has a son as well and Im trying to do this for him too, and he's not even my son. I see him only when he's not with his father. Im doing this trip because I love her and the kids and want to do something wonderful for them and for me. She cares more about herself than anything else it seems, and has no compassion, sympathy, understanding, etc in her.

She says she is trying but I don't see it unless everything is going great. Then she is sweet and affectionate. Only until something goes wrong then the real her comes out. She is heartless and I think she might just be damaged. I know she doesn't get trust or intimacy or how important they are even though most of our fights are about trust issues and intimacy issues. I could go on and on. It just seems wrong for her to spend so much then try to make it up on our familys' vacation and she actually doesn't seem to care or even see what Im pointing out.I feel like if there was another adult in the room she would never try to say something so ridiculous as Im being extravagant to spend 200 vs. her 9k then 3k more for a nose job. Especially after telling me she needs me to support her...

You sound down to earth, but I have to agree with you that she is self centered or possibly worse. For someone who will never see l2,000 dollars again, I think it is preposterous that she wants a boob and a nose job; she isn't a celebrity. That amount would be better put away for retirement.

Tick

I know you said part of the money is in her bank account, but if it was me... I would find a way to cancel those procedures. That's just insane to spend such money... for who? You said you think she is beautiful the way she is. How old is she?

She is going to need time to recover from those surgerys, maybe you should go to Disney while she is recovering and have a good time without someone complaining the whole time.;)

Are you kidding me? You let her control the money so what did you expect.

" Sorry honey, no new boobs, no new nose, now get packed we are taking the kids to Disney land"

" We talk when we get back". I know your mad, but you better take better care of the money dude. And drop the scared of what she is doing because you knew what you were getting before you got married, sorry to be harsh about it but its about you allowing this sort of behavior.

Protect yourself, and your kids, and the cash, she sure as hell won't. But you already know that don't you!!

Are you kidding me?? You let her control the money so what did you expect.

" Sorry honey, no new boobs, no new nose, now get packed we are taking the kids to Disney land"

" We talk when we get back". I know your mad, but you better take better care of the money dude. And drop the scared of what she is doing because you knew what you were getting before you got married, sorry to be harsh about it but its about you allowing this sort of behavior.

Protect yourself, and your kids, and the cash, she sure as hell won't. But you already know that don't you!!!
I totally agree with you, but that one part sounded a little 'Cave Man':D

Guilty, as a lot of family needs would be a higher priority over new boobs, or a new nose. Back to the cave I guess.

I don't know how or why you got the money and if it is YOUR money or HER money or both of yours,

If it was my money I would put it in a bank where she could not get it, and not let her get her boob job. If you were rich that would be one thing but you are not.

I would pay any high interest credit cards off, pehaps take about 1/4 of it and take that vacation

But not for something you both can't agree on.

I'm sorry sir, but it's time to face facts: She's not into you or your family. From what I've read so far, she has a history of infidelity. This boob/nose job she wants is just to enable her to upgrade to what she feels is a better class of man. As soon as she uses her "improved" physical attributes to snare a rich or at least more financially able man, she will, most likely, leave you and possibly the rest of your family, and she'll probably try to make it look like your fault. Do what you need to to protect yourself and your children.

If nothing else, remember the words of author Dr. Maya Anjelou: When someone shows you who they are: BELIEVE THEM! A person can make their mouths say anything, but their actions reveal the truth.

Good luck and God Bless.