Why do they get irritated when the hurting spouse wants to express how they feel? If the cheating spouse says he is willing to work at marriage but on his terms... what is that? How dare the cheating spouse have a sense of entitlement and says if we work at this, I need to stop being suspicious. Go figure?" Why the attitude every time I'm talking?

Likely over compensation... trying to project blame onto someone else rather than accept it themselves.

Its kind of like when you know someone is lying, they swear to god, on my so & so life, they over compensate for their own wrong doing!! Bottom line is make themselves feel better, losing your own self respect is hell to live with!!

Probably because whenever you bring it up guilt makes him squirm and he doesn't lilke it. He has to understand that, 'oops sorry won't do that again,' works when you accidentally tread on someone's foot, not when you trample their trust into the ground by cheating. That needs serious work to earn back.