I don't know where to begin. I guess I have gone online because I have a close circle of friends with my husband, and I am ashamed for feeling this way after taking vows. I am scared to give up because we have a 2 1/2 yr old son who deserves a life with both parents in it. It wasn't his fault and part of me thinks I deserve to be unhappy because it was my actions that brought all 3 of us to this point and I should just suck it up and live with it.

We have only been married for barely 2 yrs. Together for 3 before that. We have a 2 1/2 yr old son. We weren't in a good place when we got married, but our son was a yr old and it was just the next expected step. We barely have sex - I have no drive. I work a lot and he does too but I bring in the majority of the money. I don't remember the last time I heard I love you without prying it out of him first. The last time we had a real conversation - I can't even remember. Happiness is simply the absence of an argument or rude comment... A night that can go buy without saying something mean to the other person is a successful evening. He drinks every weekend even if we aren't going out or if no one else is drinking with him. He has his own hobbies which always seem to trump mine and if they don't I get a guilt trip. I am going to school and we have tried date night and that sort of thing. When we go out - we don't even have much to talk about - its like he isn't interested in me anymore and though I love him with all my heart, I think life may be better if he were my best friend without all this constant drama or frustration. I am going to try couples counseling - I am not sure if it will help but there was a time when I was madly in love with him... and I would love to get back to that point. But we have changed a lot over the last 5 yrs - different people I guess and I am not sure if way back when, without bills, school, child rearing etc. is even an option. I am just not sure what to do or if this is common in marriages. I am worried about the affect of separation on my son and what your thoughts are on it. I don't want to be another divorce statistic when I swore I would make it work... I just don't know if it is fair for me to continue living unhappily. Thoughts??

It is simple.

If you are that unhappy, then leave.

You might think it is good for your son to have both his parents living together, and that is true, IF both parents are happy and in love with each other.

Over the years you will just feel more lonely, fight more and might even become resentful of your son for keeping you married to this man.

Whether you are married to your husband doesn't change your love for your son or the excellent job you will do at raising him.

I don't know where to begin. I guess I have gone online because I have a close circle of friends with my husband, and I am ashamed for feeling this way after taking vows. I am scared to give up because we have a 2 1/2 yr old son who deserves a life with both parents in it. It wasn't his fault and part of me thinks I deserve to be unhappy because it was my actions that brought all 3 of us to this point and I should just suck it up and live with it.

We have only been married for barely 2 yrs. together for 3 before that. We have a 2 1/2 yr old son. We weren't in a good place when we got married, but our son was a yr old and it was just the next expected step. We barely have sex - I have no drive. I work a lot and he does too but I bring in the majority of the money. I dont remember the last time I heard I love you without prying it out of him first. The last time we had a real conversation - I can't even remember. Happiness is simply the absence of an argument or rude comment... A night that can go buy without saying something mean to the other person is a successful evening. He drinks every weekend even if we aren't going out or if no one else is drinking with him. He has his own hobbies which always seem to trump mine and if they don't I get a guilt trip. I am going to school and we have tried date night and that sort of thing. When we go out - we dont even have much to talk about - its like he isn't interested in me anymore and though I love him with all my heart, I think life may be better if he were my best friend without all this constant drama or frustration. I am going to try couples counseling - I am not sure if it will help but there was a time when I was madly in love with him... and I would love to get back to that point. But we have changed a lot over the last 5 yrs - different people I guess and I am not sure if way back when, without bills, school, child rearing etc. is even an option. I am just not sure what to do or if this is common in marriages. I am worried about the affect of separation on my son and what your thoughts are on it. I don't want to be another divorce statistic when I swore I would make it work... I just don't know if it is fair for me to continue living unhappily. Thoughts?!?!
Wow, I think I must be reading about my own life! I say it is worth a try to go to counseling. Sometimes people change and sometimes our illusion of who we thought they were fades and we are left with the fact that we don't truly love them. Counseling can really help if you have the right person and both parties are willing to try it. For your son's sake. If you don't see progress in the next 6 months or whatever mile maker you set then seek alternatives. Being married and miserable takes it's toll on your child as well. Good Luck..