gizgood
Jan 13, 2007, 11:47 AM
I don't know where to begin. I guess I have gone online because I have a close circle of friends with my husband, and I am ashamed for feeling this way after taking vows. I am scared to give up because we have a 2 1/2 yr old son who deserves a life with both parents in it. It wasn't his fault and part of me thinks I deserve to be unhappy because it was my actions that brought all 3 of us to this point and I should just suck it up and live with it.
We have only been married for barely 2 yrs. Together for 3 before that. We have a 2 1/2 yr old son. We weren't in a good place when we got married, but our son was a yr old and it was just the next expected step. We barely have sex - I have no drive. I work a lot and he does too but I bring in the majority of the money. I don't remember the last time I heard I love you without prying it out of him first. The last time we had a real conversation - I can't even remember. Happiness is simply the absence of an argument or rude comment... A night that can go buy without saying something mean to the other person is a successful evening. He drinks every weekend even if we aren't going out or if no one else is drinking with him. He has his own hobbies which always seem to trump mine and if they don't I get a guilt trip. I am going to school and we have tried date night and that sort of thing. When we go out - we don't even have much to talk about - its like he isn't interested in me anymore and though I love him with all my heart, I think life may be better if he were my best friend without all this constant drama or frustration. I am going to try couples counseling - I am not sure if it will help but there was a time when I was madly in love with him... and I would love to get back to that point. But we have changed a lot over the last 5 yrs - different people I guess and I am not sure if way back when, without bills, school, child rearing etc. is even an option. I am just not sure what to do or if this is common in marriages. I am worried about the affect of separation on my son and what your thoughts are on it. I don't want to be another divorce statistic when I swore I would make it work... I just don't know if it is fair for me to continue living unhappily. Thoughts??
We have only been married for barely 2 yrs. Together for 3 before that. We have a 2 1/2 yr old son. We weren't in a good place when we got married, but our son was a yr old and it was just the next expected step. We barely have sex - I have no drive. I work a lot and he does too but I bring in the majority of the money. I don't remember the last time I heard I love you without prying it out of him first. The last time we had a real conversation - I can't even remember. Happiness is simply the absence of an argument or rude comment... A night that can go buy without saying something mean to the other person is a successful evening. He drinks every weekend even if we aren't going out or if no one else is drinking with him. He has his own hobbies which always seem to trump mine and if they don't I get a guilt trip. I am going to school and we have tried date night and that sort of thing. When we go out - we don't even have much to talk about - its like he isn't interested in me anymore and though I love him with all my heart, I think life may be better if he were my best friend without all this constant drama or frustration. I am going to try couples counseling - I am not sure if it will help but there was a time when I was madly in love with him... and I would love to get back to that point. But we have changed a lot over the last 5 yrs - different people I guess and I am not sure if way back when, without bills, school, child rearing etc. is even an option. I am just not sure what to do or if this is common in marriages. I am worried about the affect of separation on my son and what your thoughts are on it. I don't want to be another divorce statistic when I swore I would make it work... I just don't know if it is fair for me to continue living unhappily. Thoughts??