I have 2 daughters, 18 and 23. We have lots of issues at home. My oldest has been on antidepressant medication for 2 years and recently she got off it. She is angry and she just flips out pretty often. This makes it very hard for me and my youngest to deal with. The sisters fight a lot and often I am not able to calm them down. When they fight they scream at each other and they don't care if we have company are we are at the mall. They call each other the worst words and show each other the finger etc. They don't respect me as much as I wish they did.

I am having trouble to function and I kind of let them do there own thing for a while. I can't have a normal conversation and just ask them to do the simplest thing like picking up after them self, or not throw the towels on the floor, or clean the hairs from the drain after taking shower etc. They basically don't do anything at home and I keep cleaning up after them and if I ask them to do something they start to blame each other and start a fight and if I get involved they will yell at me and tell me to shut up sometimes.


I have been single parent for long time and I was only one who parented them since the oldest was 14 (their father was abusive and I had to get between him and the kids a lot to not let him hurt them, and it was then when I started to spoil them and not to ask them do what they were required to).

I feel like I need parenting 101. If I punish them like taking away the cell phone or the computer they just get very disrespectful and make me feel like nothing. I don't want to be disrespected so usually I don't punish them.

Any advice?

They are adults. Quit punishing and grounding, and shove their arses into the real world. Tell them to find another place because they can NOT stay with you under the current conditions.

Good luck hon. *hugs*

Why is the 23 year old still living at home ?

But yes, you no longer parent, that chance has come and gone, Now you run and rule your home.

You don't "clean up" for them and do all the cooking and all of this and that.

They are given duties and they can do them or move out,
Time for TOUGH love

Thanks for the answers. Problem is I brought them in US when I left their father about 7.5 years ago. The real problem is we are not legal, meaning we have a case going on but lots of stuff went wrong and our case went from 1 immigration court to the other and here we are after all these years still not legal. So I can't kick them out because they can't work legaly so they just stick to school.the 23 years old going to get her batchor this year. She can't go to grad school because it is very expensive and she can't get any financial aid or loan, she is not driving and not working because of immigration. It is not easy for her and I understand. So I blame myself to put them in that situation. Well I didn't know it would take this long and to be honest there is not much hope for our case anyway, so we might get kicked out of country soon.