My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. We've had our ups and downs but all and all it has been a great one. It's been long distance for the past eleven months. During this time, because it's been very difficult for me, I've been bickering at him for not making enough effort for our relationship. He recently said that this isn't going to work and that I should be with someone that can be here for me because that's what I need. His career is very important to him and so he has to be away all the time. I asked that we work it out and that he should commute like we had planned. He said this is better for the both of us. Now he can just go and apply anywhere for jobs instead of trying to come closer to me. He said it might be about four years before he could come closer to me and that I shouldn't wait that long. We love each other so much and talked about marriage. He means the world to me and now I realize what I've lost. I'd do anything to get him back. He said we should have no contact for a while so that it'll be short-term pain and we'll both get over it sooner. I agreed but I absolutely don't want that. I don't know what to do to get him back and I could really use some wise input.

Steph

It sounds like (to me) that there might be other things going on that you don't know. I would go with the NC (no contact) Good luck:)

Is there anyway you can go with him if his career is so important? I have no idea what he does for a living.
At the end of the day doing the right thing can sometimes mean doing what you really don't want to do. He may well really love you but he might feel that you disserve someone to be there for you all the time and he knows he can't offer you that at the moment.

The only thing we can all do in relationships is let nature take its course. Everything happens for a reason and what will be will be.
If you's are meant to be together then you's will be together.

If you have told him how you feel about everything then you know there was nothing more you could have done to make you two work as a couple.. You can't offer aything more than that xx

You have placed too much emphasis on the relationship instead of your own life - a career of your own, for example. This makes you fundamentally different, and it's possible that he feels that it's time to go your own ways. The way you 'prove' something to him is to find something, anything, a hobby, some courses, start your own business, that shows that you can love without being needy. It might work and it might be too late. Only time will tell.

...During this time, because it's been very difficult for me, I've been bickering at him for not making enough effort for our relationship.

He recently said that this isn't going to work ....
He said this is better for the both of us. Now he can just go and apply anywhere for jobs instead of trying to come closer to me.........

We love each other so much and talked about marriage.

So you want him back? Why?

He can't give you what you want. Nothings changed. What's different?

I think he's made it very clear that he wants out of this relationship. Now he can go and apply for jobs and be his own person without answering to anyone.

Im sure you do love each other. But not enough for him to try and make this workout.

And that is the reality.

Also there is nothing wrong with wanting your partner to be with you. You just picked the wrong guy for it that's all.

CMYWEB

Thanks for your advise, I moved with him once before but I wasn't too happy about it. He's a pilot. Then he had to move to another 3,000 km away. He asked me to move with him again but he then said I should stay where I am because I'll just be unhappy. I'm thinking about moving closer to him. I think he's worth it, being the only man I want to spend my life with. And I know that will make me happy. So I'm planning on visiting him soon, I just hope he'll also be really happy to see me!

JOYPULV

You make a great point! I had to put my school on hold to get out of debt. Right now I'm living at home working two/three jobs. I'm putting all the money I make towards my debt, and he's so proud of me for doing that. I will be working towards a career soon, hopefully something that I can also travel with him so we can be together.

Steph :)

Did he say that he would want you to travel with him?

He did a few months ago and I agreed to it. In fact, I did move with him to another city earlier last year for about a month. But he unexpectedly had to move even further away to a non-developed city and so I moved back.