My boyfriend and his ex-wife share joint Custody - Physical and Legal - of their two sons. But we have started to question a few things that she has been doing and we are not sure it's completely legal/fair. At this point we just want to protect ourselves and the boys.

First we noticed it when she signed the boys up for school, she filled out all the paper work as if she had full-custody. So we don't get copies of anything or get informed of anything, which we are in the process of fixing that. But now we are wondering what else she has signed them up for and only gave her info. We are going to check the doctor's offices next, any place else we should look?

Second, she has signed the boys up for medicaid. But my boyfriend has insurance and I am pretty sure that he makes too much. She never asked for the father's signature or anything, doesn't he have to sign off on that? With the boys being share equally, don't they have to look at both parents income? It's not like the spend more time with her or anything.

My boyfriend gets sick of fighting with her on stuff, she treats him like he is stupid, but I told him something's you just have to hold your ground. So I have been helping him and we are working toward straightening everything out and being more aware of what she is doing.

So what can we do to protect ourselves and stay informed?

It sounds like there's a Court order. Go back to Court and review all these questions in front of a Judge. If the children are on Medicaid there is a very good possibility that the Government will look to your boyfriend for reimbursement. And, yes, you should get copies of school info.

Go back to Court, file in contempt (for not sharing info) and have a Judge (or arbitrator) decide.

You realize, of course, that you are not part of this and only your boyfriend has any legal entitlement here. You can support him, of course, but have no legal standing.