Often a retail clerk, bank teller, or some other service worker will ask me what my plans are for the evening while I am making a transaction. Why? I find that question rude and none of their business, but realise that they are just making friendly conversation with a customer.

This is new for me and almost never happened a few years ago. Maybe people who work with the public can tell me why. I usually answer with something vague like "oh I have plans for a fun/relaxing/enjoyable evening" but that doesn't tell them that their question was invasive. I thought of "why do you ask" but that seems rude.

I also hate "I like your bag/coat/wallet. Where did you buy it?" Why oh why not leave it at a charming compliment and drop the rest?

Customer service has been revamped in recent years,I suppose by trying to engage the customer the customer will feel special,remember the experience and continue bringing their business there.

The examples you give remind me very much of Dale Carnegie's example given in 'how to win friends and influence people',perhaps some have gone a little over the top.

If you feel uncomfortable you could just answer briefly and bring your business elsewhere.

I've never had any CSR ask me my plans for the weekend. I have had them ask if I was doing anything for a holiday, etc. I've always assumed it was because they were making polite conversation and were interested in my response.

When I worked on the service side of the counter I can tell you I had WAY too many people volunteer information about their lives that I neither asked for or wanted. It's certainly TMI when you start the conversation with "How are you today, Mrs. __?" and she takes that as an invitation to tell you about her sex life. (Not kidding!) Older folks tend to like to tell you about all their medical woes and young people their love life.

If I ask someone where they bought something that means I like it enough to buy one of my own.

Deflect personal questions if they are as innocent as the ones you describe. Just say 'Oh I don't know' about plans and 'Thanks' to compliments (no answer to where you bought it). You can also change the subject, look around the room as though you didn't hear, or pretend you are busy. Or... just stay silent.

If someone asks something truly invasive, you could say 'If you will forgive me for not answering, I will forgive you for asking.' Lightly or sternly, as you wish. I prefer a little wiggle of the eyebrows and no reply at all, and walk away if I can.

I like this approach, thank you. I'll try next time to respond to the question they should have asked - or commented on really - rather than what they did ask.

I can imagine that people on the CSR side have seen it all and put up with a lot while having to remain polite. The ones I'm talking about are polite too, they just don't get though that some people might find them too personal.

Well the customer service revamping makes sense as a possible answer for why this is a more recent phenomenon. Same with the retail clerk being required to ask what your post/zip code is on a cash transaction so they can store it for marketing. Thx!

Same with the retail clerk being required to ask what your post/zip code is on a cash transaction so they can store it for marketing. Thx!That is a BIG pet peeve of mine. I don't feel they need any of my personal info for a cash sale. I usually just say "just a cash sale please" or I'll memorize a local businesses number (like the SPCA or something) and offer that up.

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The pack and ship store I work for has always asked for the customer's phone number to start a transaction. It used to ruffle some people (they thought it was too invasive). I suggested they just make up a number if they wanted. We collect the number because if their package gets damaged or returned, we want to notify them as soon as possible. Our policy is not to sell this information, but I can understand how it may seem inappropriate to some customers.

I had an occasion to get irritated by a CSR at Toys R Us (of all places) right before Thanksgiving. I ran in to pick up a board game for the family to play during the holidays. Had just the game and the cash in my hand. This is the barage of questions I had to get through:

Will that be on your ToysRUs charge? (remember I had cash in hand) - NO

Would you like to apply for our TrU credit card? - NO

Are you a member of Geoffrey's club? - NO

Would you like to become a member? - NO (at this point I told the clerk I just would like to pay and leave)

She finally rings it up, then asks:
Do you want to donate a dollar to ___? NO

Finally she asks if I want a bag - the only useful question. I told her I understood she was required to ask the questions, but she needed to pass along to her management that the multiple questions are irritating and may have the opposite effect of what they want.

@Wondergirl: <shudders> - ugh. I've been flashed with a couple of nipple rings and boob jobs that I never EVER asked to see.

We collect the number because if their package gets damaged or returned, we want to notify them as soon as possible.That's actually a fairly legitimate reason. Not so for buying socks at Children's Place. Also you never know what being done with the data collected. Remember, with your phone number they get your name and home address, I usually don't broadcast that out to all strangers.

@Wondergirl: <shudders> - ugh. I've been flashed with a couple of nipple rings and boob jobs that I never EVER asked to see.Hello Em:

Really? What did you say? I'm going to try it.

excon