I've been having sex for 4 years now, two years with my current boyfriend, and it is always terribly unsatisfying.
Sex is always something that makes me feel dirty and disgusting and ashamed and I can't shake it.
It stresses me out immensely and I have cried several times from the stress/anxiety of it.
My last boyfriend frequently told me how awful I was at having sex and my current boyfriend is very calm and understanding but when he asks me to take control and get on top and put in some effort I just feel like I'm terrible and want to cry and stop.

When I finally calm down and get on top It incredibly unsatisfying - like a medical exam - I can feel it but I'm not aroused at all. I thought I would get over this by now but I haven't.
Also I can have orgasms when I'm alone but with a partner it seems impossible.
Like I said even when I do relax it's not pleasurable.

Any ideas?

How old are you?

Age... we need to know it.

Your age is necessary in order for us to answer and
Can be a factor in determining advice.

Just saying again so I can subscribe, we need your age hon

I think that your old boyfriend caused you, to think that you really are bad at sex, so it's causing you lots of mental stress. He got you to believe eveything he told you about how bad you where. If you can just get past all that and give yourself a new chance I'm sure you will be able to enjoy sex as much as me :)

I think that your old boyfriend caused you, to think that you really are bad at sex, so it's causing you lots of mental stress. He got you to believe eveything he told you about how bad you where. If you can just get past all that and give yourself a new chance I'm sure you will be able to enjoy sex as much as me :)

We need to know her age before answering her.

Sorry I just think it doesn't matter. Her old boyfriend mentally abused her into thinking she horrible at sex..

Sorry I just think it doesn't matter. Her old boyfriend mentally abused her into thinking she horrible at sex

It does matter. It is a legal requirement .

Sorry I just think it doesn't matter. Her old boyfriend mentally abused her into thinking she horrible at sex ..

Yup, it matters.

Would YOU want to be liable for giving advice about sex to a 13 year old?

*I* certainly don't! Neither does the site.

We do not answer questions on the ADULT sexuality boards without verifying that we are talking to an adult.