I'm a married women, my husband is amazing but I'm really falling for a new guy at work, I can't stop thinking about him , we talk allot and he is confiding in me regarding trouble in his own marriage. To top it all off he's in love with my best friend and co-worker who just broke up with her husband. This sounds like a soap . Help I 'm a mess.

Sorry. I don't know what else to tell you except to back off no good can come of this. Your marriage will be in trouble and you might lose your best friend into the bargain. You should also try to talk some sense into your friend. She is heading for a brick wall.

I'm not sure what kind of help you need beyond reinforcement of your own knowledge that this infatuation is foolish and destructive. I have to disagree with your statement that you can't stop thinking about him. You can stop, but so far at least, you have chosen not to. If you continue down the path you're on it will bring heartache to everyone involved.

Take a step back and ask yourself what's right and what is really important to you in the long run, and start making choices that are consistent with the answers. It's a cop out to imagine that you can't help what you think and feel. Thoughts, feelings and actions all arise from choices. Granted, you may not be fully aware of making some of these choices, but that just means that you need to look more deeply and honestly into your own motives to find their origin.

Just imagine how hard he is laughing at you, and your friend, for being stupid enough to fall for his tale of woe. Neither of you knows anything about the new guy except what he tells you, so he knows he has two lulu's on a string. Yes it is like a soap opera and all you have to do is change the channels. Or keep providing him with free entertainment.

This situation may be a sign that your own marriage is in trouble--if you are falling for another man who is confiding in you. If you love your husband and love being married to him, work on your own marriage to make it stronger. If you value your husband, do not pursue this any further.

By the way, tell your friend about this site. She sounds like she could use some help from the wise and wonderful experts here!

I say be with your husband if you love him and your happy. Then don't screw it up. You may just have a crush.:p ;) :) I don't believe in divorce unless it nesacery like he cheated or hit you or he's a threat to you or some one else. So don't do that to some one you said I do. He is suppose to be forever.

I'm a married women, my husband is amazing but I'm really falling for a new guy at work, I can't stop thinking about him , we talk allot and he is confiding in me regarding trouble in his own marriage. To top it all off he's in love with my best friend and co-worker who just broke up with her husband. This sounds like a soap . Help I 'm a mess.
There is a difference between falling in love and having affection toward someone, or you may just lust him.
You may be in a rut with your marriage and need to rekindle your passion. You are doing a lot of talking with someone thaat needs a shoulder to cry on and yo u are misunderstanding your feelings. It like the therapist that no longer is professional and the need to get personal interferes with the relationship. He can't commit to a relationship because the first is still broken and jumping to quick can hurt more people. Don't complicate matters and make them worse. Back off if you can't handle the emotions you have.

This sounds like a movie script, something like "Dumb and Dumber". You say your husband is really amazing. You will find out just how amazing if you pursue this infatuation with a new co-worker. I highly doubt this new guy at work is in love with your best friend - he most likely is in lust. Which I think you are also. Someone needs to take a firehose to the office and turn it on full blast and cool down the raging hormones there! What a pack of sleaze! Very unprofessional. Get your head on straight and start thinking with your brain and not your "chemical reaction" to this new office worker. I would bet anything he is using both you and your best friend and laughing his off about it.

DON'T EVER CONFUSE ATTRACTION, LUST WITH LOVE.

I'd go tot counsleing with your husband tomorrow! This stuff always signals somehting wrong I nthe marriage.

Leave this guy alone - you're going to ruin two marriages - People Want What They Can't Have. Once you have this guy you'll hate him.

Grass is always greener - UNTIL you get to the other side.

Haven't you learned anything with the whole adam and eve story. Do not break into temptation!! You are a married if you are finding yourself missing something in your life you should talk to your husband maybe get conseling for this emptyiness you have which makes you want another man. Don't ruin a marriage because of another man, to many marriages are broken these days because of inconsiderate moronic people.

Don't let the problems in his marriage become a problem in yours, and whether he admits it, he's the problem is his marriage.

I need for you to applaud you eye candy... this man has awaken that vivacious vixen your husband once knew... redirect this energy... be glad that you know "You still got it girl"... now remind your husband what it is you got. It is funny to me how people marry and look to others for fulfillment. Your husband did it for you at one time, rekindle those heart and thoughts of mind. Because any one can look good in a two minute window... you are exposed to the work guy... the home guy could be more cantakerous than the one you share a bed with each night.

I'm not attacted to my husband like I use to be, how can I get the spark back? HELP!!

It is actually common for couples over several years to get so used to each other, and forget to do those extra special things.

First I believe it is a good idea to have marriage counseling to help us talk and communicate.

Next it is those little things often little notes left for each other, a surprise date you arrange.

How old are you and how long have you been married? Any kids at home and how old are they? These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to things that change the dynamics of a marriage. More info please.

I have to agree with bluerose, nothing good can possibly come of this

I'm a married women, my husband is amazing but I'm really falling for a new guy at work, I can't stop thinking about him , we talk allot and he is confiding in me regarding trouble in his own marriage. To top it all off he's in love with my best friend and co-worker who just broke up with her husband. This sounds like a soap . Help I 'm a mess.
Women of your calibre should be taken out into the streets and flogged. Then your head should be shaved as a warning to all other decent women not to associate with you.

LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATIONS! I think you would be wise to stay with your amazing husband and focus on all the positive things your husband is.
You need to stay focused on your relationship and set a good example for yourself... People are quick to judge and destroy other relationships over selfishness.
Please ask yourself if you would like to be in the other persons shoes.
Treat others how you want to be treated. Get the passion heated up at home... baby! HUGS

I found out my husband has been cheating on me for 5 months with a co worker. He states they never slept together and loves me. We are doing marriage counseling. How will I ever trust him again... where do I begin?

You begin with the counseling, and he having to earn your trust back

Stick with the process, and make sure he does too!

It is a long road. Trust doesn't just come back. You can start to rebuild - one of the first things that should happen (aside from the couseling) is that if he says he is going to do something - he needs to follow through. That will help.
For me, I needed to be reassured on everything. See, a year and half ago, I found out that my husband had an affair - my world was shattered. There were days that it seemed to hurt to breathe.
We are now making our way back. I needed to know where he was, when he would be home, etc. If he said he would be home by 6, he had better be pulling in the driveway at 6. If not, I expected a call. There were/are times I feel like a warden - but I need to know that he is going to do what he says he is going to do.

We also started "date night". Our counselor instructed that we have one NO LESS than every other week. We are guilty of getting caught up in the day to day life - we sometimes would forget to nurture our relationship.

We do simple, nice things for each other - if it is just a text message in the middle of the day saying "I love you".

And the last is commitment to making the relationship work and giving yourself time to heal.

Good Luck from someone who has been there.