PDA

View Full Version : Freshman dating senior


overthinker_17
Jan 6, 2011, 08:26 PM
This senior asked me out.he is a sweetheart,and is not in it for sex or anything like that we've talked about it already.but the problem is that he is really clingy and well he ALWAYS wants me to hang out with him. I like him I really do but it gets annoying sometimes and when I try to tell him to give me a little space he gets mad about it.we're not even officially going out but I don't know what to say to him I really don't.what should I do?
I'm scared to get attached to him,should I go for it or not?

Wondergirl
Jan 6, 2011, 08:29 PM
this senior asked me out.he is a sweetheart,and is not in it for sex or anything like that we've talked about it already.but the problem is that he is really clingy and well he ALWAYS wants me to hang out with him. i like him i really do but it gets annoying sometimes and when i try to tell him to give me a lil space he gets mad about it.we're not even officially goin out but idk what to say to him i really dont.what should i do?
im scared to get attached to him,should i go for it or not?
If he's annoying now when you're not even hanging out with him, how's it going to feel once you hang out together on a regular basis and he's on you all the time like a fox fur?

What should you do? Ignore him.

overthinker_17
Jan 6, 2011, 08:44 PM
I like the guy and we do hang out already but when I try to leave by myself he wants to walk me and I tell him not to walk me he takes it in a bad way.how can I make him understand that I just want my own space sometimes?

Cat1864
Jan 7, 2011, 08:30 AM
Just going by what you have written, he is trying to control you already. That is a very big bright red warning sign of what to expect in an official relationship with him.

You are already finding it difficult to explain your needs to him and he isn't listening. You can try sitting down with him and talking to him about individuals in a relationship need space and time to themselves so that they make stronger partners, but I think you have tried that and it hasn't worked.

You can try remaining his friend and giving him a chance to lighten up and see that you don't have to be in constant contact. Perhaps, he could come to understand that trying to control another person only causes that person to be pushed away. However, I am concerned that he won't and his behavior will only get worse if he feels he is losing control of the situation.

Take a long hard look at his reaction to when you want to spend time alone or with other friends. How does he react? Each time it happens does his reaction get more intense? Do you give in to what he wants? If you don't, does he get worse?

Many people every day get into relationships that they never should have because they think they can change the person. It is a hard lesson to learn that you can't change someone who doesn't want to change. Trying to change another person ends up with both people getting hurt. Don't cause yourself more pain in life than you can avoid.

overthinker_17
Jan 8, 2011, 11:22 AM
You're right. Thank you really and I said no to him.