What do you guys think I should do? This is a little long, but I just want you guys to understand the whole situation.

Been seeing here for 2 months. Everything till last week (thurs) everything was good. We would normally meet up about 2 times each week to hang out @ her or my place. Always lead to sex. We texted a lot, you can say our feelings for each other have gotten stronger. Tells me she's always thinking about me regularly (told me that the week before too). Were calling each other babe/baby goodmorning/night texts, we already know were both interested/really like each other. Basically it felt/seemed like we were bf/gf cept without it being official. Eventually last tue we were doing that little question thing -

Me - what is one emotion u have the most trouble controlling?

Her - Jealousy... **then she says why, how she can't help it when she's with someone

Me - Its understandable though... u out of questions?

Her - thanks for understanding baby. I got one more question. Where do you see this going

Me - I can see you being with me. But I know your sort of fresh out of long relationship & I know that going to take a while to get over. Plus I don't know what your intentions are, so Im not trying to rush into anything nor would I until I believe I'm ready for it & until you know your ready for it too. **shes 2-3 months out of relationship. Been talking/seeing her 1-2 months before her breakup. But never made a move till they broke up. Her relationship was 2 years long

Then she said how she liked my reply that it was perfect.

Basically we text each other throughout the day. As we had been for a while now. See her the 29th. We hang out, watch a movie, then sex lol. After we part ways, like an hour later she texts me -

Her - Hope I didn't disappoint today baby

Me - no disappointment here baby, you left a smile on my face... & wore me the fuuuuck out lol
then later I end the conversation telling her Im crazy tired. We both say night, with her saying Her - goodnight little muffin top
So when I wake up (round 2 pm next day) I text her

Me - goodmooooorning thunderthighs :P

Me- so a 12+ hour sleep was much needed. I feel like a god now aka like my usual self again lol

Now after that text I didn't hear back from her that day, nor the 31st, not until the 1st. I wouldn't be trippin too much that she didn't reply, but one thing I noticed ever since we started talking she always has something to say lol no matter what I text her she has a reply no matter if its 3+ hours later. So when she didn't reply I was like hmmm okaay.

So round 12pm on the 1st she texts me, which she does again on the 2nd & 3rd

Her - Happy new years
Me- Gracias, u too happy new years
Her - Im at work. Still drunk from last night lol
Me - Sucka I'm just waking up lol
Her - I had a party last night
Me - Yeah I know. U told me about u having an nye party a few weeks ago
Her - it was crazy lol. No cops though & no one died lol U and (my friend) could have came lol
Me - would have but I figured u had changed your plans when you said your doing **** big & whatnot. Pus u neva gave me the deets! So I hit up another partay instead lol
Her - Ill be real with u. I wanted to invite you but (her ex) came so I thought it would be weird. My party was cracking though. Hella people there. *actually she did invite me when she told me about it a few weeks before, when we were laying in her bed*
Me - Fasho I getchu... hey u said no one died though so in my book it wasn't crackin. If there aren't any deaths then its not a party... fact
Her - lol there was like 30 people in my small house w/ 2 games of bp set up hella beer and hella vodka
Me - haha nice... (then say something about the gym being closed so I'm going to this other & can't find the enterance, threw a joke about that)

NO REPLY, so I don't text back. We didn't talk for the rest of the day

Jan 2nd
Her - Exactly how I wanted to start 2011. Sick laying on the couch sippin down chickin noodle soup lol be jealous
Me - oh I'm very jealous haha poor babes... I haven't been sick in a year & half, u mad?
Her - no lol I haven't been sick in a second. I need to put my house back together after new years fml
Me - I got 99 problems but cleaning up my house isn't one lol that sucks
She didn't say anything to that, so conversation done

jan 3rd
Her - Hello mr delicious (insert nickname) lol
Me - hello miss swine flu :P **lookin back at this I think I should have said something like "yeah i know. my kisses are delicious huh?"
Her - lol I'm still sick
Me - and I'm still cute what else is new? Lol
Her - I can't eat. So little boy what have you been up to these past few days?
Me - uuuh nuthin big little girl just been dealing them kilos to the community. U know the usual... u? **lookin back I should have said either "o ill give u something to eat lil girl " haha

But yeah after that she didn't reply. So I wouldn't trip about this but I am because Im accustomed of her always responding + like I said she always has something to say/text. Im guessing she's still thinking of me if she's texting me?

So I mean what messes with my head is why start a conversation with me and then just ignore my reply? Besides that I don't understand how she changed from hot to cold overnight? I mean I would say the past few weeks we got really close & comfortable with each other. Like I said where it felt like were in a relationship even though were not and even then we would text each other a bunch

Now I have either thought, this sudden distance from her is 1 of 3 - (1) she wants space, felt we were getting close too fast. But she would have said something. She's the type of girl to voice her concern on things like this. (2) She wants me to chase her. But I doubt it otherwise she would have had something to say to the text I sent her back on the 29th. (3) A challenger has appeared (either new guy or ex bf).

Me getting my head on straight and looking at the situation from an outsiders view, I would tell myself the girl is no longer interested. Otherwise she wouldn't have ignored my text nor my replies to her texts. Either that or her ex is back. Which I expected him to still be in the picture, since the relationship of there's was a long one. But she always tells me what's up/whats going. So basically I would say to move on and just not contact her. She contacts me, then she contacts me. If she doesn't, she doesn't. If she does contact me I don't know if I should text back or ignore it... Last time we txtd/talked was this past Monday.

My friend (who knows her and everything about the situtation) said basically me & her were like bf/gf but weren so she musta just gone like *** he's not my boyfriend but these feelings are strong. So now she's backing off. He said Im too good for her to lose, that I am out of her league (which I think is true =]). He also believes I should move on & forget about her. But I really saw a potential in me & her especially after I told her where I saw "this" going..


Do you guys think I'm going about this right? I like the girl a lot so I want to give her the benefit of the doubt & just believe she's wants some space from feeling that we got too close. This girls been on my mind everrday lol I was thinking to text her tomorrow since we haven't talked for 2 days & see if she bites. That way if she doesn't or the conversation doesn't go the way I plan, I'll move on like planned.

What do you guys think about this situation? What do you suggest I do?

Basically she is somehow kind of confused about how to continue being with you, she isn't sure about her own feeling and she isn't sure about how the relationship of u both going, at least that is what I can see frm objective point of view


My friend (who knows her and everything about the situtation) said basically me & her were like bf/gf but weren so she musta just gone like *** he's not my boyfriend but these feelings are strong. So now she's backing off. He said Im too good for her to lose, that I am out of her league (which I think is true =]).

The 'he is out of my league' reason she provided sounds like a bullcrap for me as I have seen a lot of people using this reason to cover their inconsistency in decision. When it is about love it is either go or leave just that two there is no such choice as 'in between', you do realize that the way she acts toward you ARE weird right?at certain time she will get your hopes up then after awhile she dropped it down, it is one proof of her being inconsistent.I will have to say that you need to confront her openly an polite at same time, ask her whether she wants to be with you or not instead of keep playing this 'fishing game' with unknown conclusion.

Talaniman Rule- Never ever mess with any one who has just dumped their partner
The last thing you want is to be a rebound for hurt feelings. Let them heal, and keep doing your own thing without them.

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else
Because you are smitten, or infatuated, doesn't mean she is, mater of fact she may well be attracted but afraid of moving to fast from one guy to another. She knows she needs to heal and get beyond her past feelings, and seems smart enough to move slowly.

Talaniman Rule-When you stop looking for love, and do your thing, and enjoy ALL
YOUR OPTIONS, AND OPPORTUNITIES, love will find you.
This is what you have to do for now, because its only been two months and you may have laid the grounds for some friendship, and seeing anything else at this time will work against your own common sense and the reality of your situation. Its easy to get carried away by strong feelings and have our mind play tricks on us. That's why its very important to not make her more than it is, friendship, text buddies, new friends, because you are both strangers, and she is working to get her stuff back together. That's requires space, and that's why she doesn't just text or call so much, she is protecting herself, and so should you be by keeping a balance between her, and other areas of your life. Its only been a few months.

Talaniman Rule-Build a life that you enjoy without a mate and your happiness will attract people who will want to share in it with you.
That keeps you from getting carried away by strong feelings for a stranger.

Talaniman Rule-Never put all your eggs in a stranger’s basket. Save some for your own basket.
Same as above


Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.
Keep it casual and friendly and see what's up well down the road, and if she isn't ready willing and able, you keep doing your own thing, from a safe distance. You can probably guess my point is to keep it real with a stranger that is fresh from a long relationship, so don't push, or lie, because NO you are not just waiting for her to heal to see what chances you have, nor are you sitting in limbo, either. But follow her lead, and don't expect her to act like you're a couple, just friends, and that's really it for a while, no matter what it seems like, or what she says, or does. That's only two people getting comfortable with each other nothing more. The rest is your own hopes for romance, and love that your brain tells you that you want. So you can give up that idea if you want, but don't burn your bridges until you have built them. You have barely found the road at this point, and have no clue what lies ahead. Don't speculate or fantasize, just deal with reality, and keep it real, and stop assuming so much about the way she conducts herself at this point. You don't know here well enough for that.

For sure there is no hurry or a need to rush into anything with your new text buddy.

Talaniman Rule-No Honest communications- No healthy relationship.

Talaniman Rule- If one person isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

Talaniman Rule- Be honest with yourself, and be honest with others.
Only you can keep yourself from getting carried away either by your feelings, or what others say, so don't, and don't give her the idea your just waiting for her to give you a chance either. Keep doing what your doing, and have other things that you enjoy doing besides thinking about the what ifs and whens.

Basically she is somehow kinda confused about how to continue being with you, she isnt sure about her own feeling and she isnt sure about how the realtionship of u both going, at least that is what i can see frm objective point of view

Yeah this is what my friend told me. She just is unsure.


Talaniman Rule- Never ever mess with any one who has just dumped their partner
The last thing you want is to be a rebound for hurt feelings. Let them heal, and keep doing your own thing without them.
Yeah this was not smart on my part at all.


Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else
Because you are smitten, or infatuated, doesn't mean she is, mater of fact she may well b attracted but afraid of moving to fast from one guy to another. She knows she needs to heal and get beyond her past feelings, and seems smart enough to move slowly.
Well I didn't assume/. She was the one who expressed her feelings to me, I'm one who doesn't express them. But when she did, then I did too. She's told me how she's always thinking of me and such. So I know the feelings we share are mutual.



Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.
I actually like this rule a lot, very smart. I will remember this one for sure.

Also I never pushed for a relationship or anything, like you said follow her lead.
That's why when she asked me where do you see this going, I told her -

I can see you being with me. But I know your sort of fresh out of long relationship & I know that's going to take a while to get over. Plus I don't know what your intentions are, so Im not trying to rush into anything nor would I until I believe I'm ready for it & until you know your ready for it too.

To which she told me was perfect and we told each other that were both just taking everything a day at a time. And glad were on the same page

This conversation was last Monday (12/26)


Talaniman Rule-No Honest communications- No healthy relationship.

Well what I really like about this girl is she's very honest & upfront she will tell all lol So I don't think honesty is a problem... I really appreciate the advice from both you (Talaniman & Light Cross). Thank you guys.

I'm thinking of just contacting her today, haven't had a real conversation with her since basically last Wednesday. What do you guys think, good move or nay? Most likely just text her first to feel her out...

Ended up texting her, no reply. Blah, I'm just going to forget about her

Find something else to do besides getting frustrated that she isn't available when you want her to be. You didn't want anything important any way, just to talk and catch up. Hear her voice, get your rap in.

So she invited the ex to the party so you weren't the priority cause it would be weird?

Man, that should tell you something... Id walk from this one.