Ok never done this before but I really need all the help I can get! Me and this guy where seeing each other 4 two weeks (I know its nothing , but we got attached to each other really quick). Near the end of the two weeks he broke up saying he didn't want a relationship at university (he had promised himself this). Then we started being friends with benefits, we then had an argument about him bringing other girls back if it wasn't me, he called me a liar. So he then hated me and wouldn't talk to me a few days later he was seeing another girl. Then out of the blue he comes to my birthday party and kissed one of my mates. Finally he said to the three of us that a relationship at university is not what he wanted. Except he stayed at university accommodation over the Xmas holiday and now has a girl friend she lives at the same accommodation. Last night he was chatting with my mates and listening to me he was laughing and smiling at what I was saying and kept looking over at me as if he was admiring me. Then he said goodbye gave one of my friends a hug and he shook the hand of my other mates hand and he then slid past me and didn't say goodbye. I know that when uni starts I think he will go back to being single as his course requires a lot of work. What do I do I want him back so much just not sure how to go about it someone please help me!

Cathy,

You have to be aware that this guy has no intention of having a real relationship with you. He has been very honest and upfront about that HE Doesn't WANT A RELATIONSHIP while at university. Unfortuantely you like many of us woman have fallen in the category " I can change his mind, if I spend enough time with him he will realize how much I care for him and want me too".

I don't mean to be harsh, but you are no more then a nice lady that he can have a booty call with. You probably aren't the only lady that he is using is the same manner.

You deserve better, leave this guy alone, go to No contact. No one should ever feel they have the right to treat us like we are no more then a piece of something dirty to use as they see fit!!

Cathy,

Friends with benefits is really never a good idea. Especially if you're a vulnerable person.

4 weeks is too soon to get attached let alone be intimate with one another.

Consider yourself used. Sorry, harsh I realize. I am being honest. He sounds selfish by showing no regard to you r your feelings.

I think you should move on, and perhaps next time, don't give yourself to man until you are certain he is wrothy of you.

Cathy,

You have to be aware that this guy has no intention of having a real relationship with you. He has been very honest and upfront about that HE DOESNT WANT A RELATIONSHIP while at university. Unfortuantely you like many of us woman have fallen in the category " I can change his mind, if I spend enough time with him he will realize how much I care for him and want me too".

I dont mean to be harsh, but you are no more then a nice lady that he can have a booty call with. You probably arent the only lady that he is using is the same manner.

You deserve better, leave this guy alone, go to No contact. No one should ever feel they have the right to treat us like we are no more then a piece of something dirty to use as they see fit!!!

Wow! That's crazy, you and I must have been writing at the same time...

Great minds think alike.

I did move on and then he started syaing he cared about me too much. I am mates with his mates so we always see each other. He told me something like he never uses girls as he thinks its bad. Just seeing him in a relationship kills me. I want to find someone now just worried he's going to ruin it again for me again. He made me happy and he said he was happy too, what type of person would lead three girls on syaing he doesn't want a relationship and then goes straight into one?

, what type of person would lead three girls on syaing he dosent want a relationship and then goes straight into one??

A player.

A very charming man who knows what he's doing. When he's done with you three, then there will be another three.

Move on.

Yea he is a charmer my flat amtes hate it for what he did to me I feel sorry for his girlfriend once uni starts he will get behind again and will probably dump her he also flirts with girls in clubs on nights out and has book called 'the game' on how a man can get girls and approach them!

Comment on answerme_tender's post

Yea I think he's feels bad for what's happened just doesn't want to say out because he doesn't want people to know this we see each other everywhere so ita hard when I want to tell him how I fell nowi cnt because he has a girlfriend

Comment on Enigma1999's post

Is there any nice guys at uni, I don't trust any guys now is that a sensible thing after everythign that happened?

Cathy,

We all know there are people out there like this. He didn't do anything wrong here, sorry--He was upfront,honest telling you that he didn't want relationship. You thought it would turn into something more then what it was---simple hook up. If he decides to finally get into a relationship with some other girl, then you can't sit around still feeling sorry for yourself.

Listen your both still young, that's what happens, You date people, dating doesn't mean you have to get serious or even have sex. But you should date around while your young!!

You have to learn not to get so serious about a guy while just starting to date them. Give yourself time to really get to know them, what they beliefs are, what their their expectations are in life, basically find out what their moral character is about. Also just because you have had couple of mishaps when it comes to dating, doesn't mean you give up or when you do meet someone that you judge him by what happened in the past.

Enjoy getting out and DATING, nothing serious. Its fun to get out with someone, to go to dinner, movies,plays, and of course as a lady you don't have to PAY!!

Haha your exactly right there are much better guys out there guys who don't use girls and actually care for them besides there is loads of guys at uni and one will come to me when I least expect it.

Me and a guy had a great relationship we broke up because it was too long distance. I ended up going to the same university as him we didn't talk since the breakup and we are now friends on Facebook again he is still single and treat me well I do squash with him in the squash society at university. I want to hang out with him outside uni just don't know how to go about it. Can someone help me please?

Not sure how to go about hanging out with him again without it looking desperate or clingy any tips??

"is there any nice guys at uni, i dont trust any guys now is that a sensible thing after everythign that happenned?"

All I can say is keep your heart guarded. No more friends with benefits,with anyone.

You may not trust at the moment, but in time that will subside.

For the time being, focus on YOU.

Don't be clingy for now just act normally, greet as usual and accompany him but don't make it too obvious that you want to get back with him, it is all about adjustment.Post breakup people tend to have their guard abit more tight to the person they broke with so you need to give him the time he needs, meanwhile keep accompany him and let him know and sure about you then after that maybe you can ask him to have another shot with you

When I merged your posts, we can all see that you have taken your heart break, and decided to go to the comfort zone of an ex.

I hope you rethink this, because rebounding back to an ex is the last thing you need after being so disappointed with the guy you were friends with benefits with. You better find other areas of your life to focus on rather than looking for a guy at this time.

As the others have said, just have fun being single until you get over the notion you need a guy, any guy to be happy, while they are unavailable, and doing their thing. Looking back to the ex, won't help you now, and will only distract you from other options, and opportunities for fun, and happiness.

You need a proper healing, and that takes time. You want a really good tip? Attract a guys attention by being happy and a fun person who is doing your own thing, and don't think of ways to chase a guy. Let them come to you. That means do your own thing, and someone will notice you are happy, and want to share it with you.

Sounds like he's happy being just a friend. You could always ask him if he's interested in dating you again. Only he can answer whether he's still interested.


Is he the same guy in this thread?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/ex-me-dont-talk-he-has-new-gf-541214.html

If so, you don't do anything. He has a girlfriend. He's made his choice.

Also, please don't start multiple threads on the same subject. It may take time for someone to answer your question, we all volunteer here and have lives of our own, so patience please. Someone will get to your answer when they see it and have time to answer it.

Thanks.

No Alty, this is ANOTHER ex, that dumped her because of the distance, and she wants to go back with him because the other ex dumped her because he was using her. Now she wants the first guy back, to mend her broken heart, instead of taking a deep breath, and rebuilding her life around being happy with herself.

She thinks she needs a guy to be happy. That's a terrible way to be loved, jumping from guy to guy.